Sausage Rolls Of Death

 

 WHO announcing something probably important ... to them.  

The World Health Organization which as you've probably guessed is full of vegetarian hippies says yer at risk of getting cancer if you eat processed meats ..... well they used the word probably because this medical stuff isn't fucking science.

Remember when AIDS used to scare people and you'd shun all queers and burn them out of their homes after you end up drunkenly snogging some bloke then you find out he's ghey? .... oh, just me then. Well cancer is kinda like that, it's been the big bad for years. It robbed us of cunts like John Wayne, Steve McQueen, Walt Disney, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and even some people I liked such as Lana Turner, Paul Newman, Vincent Price, Deforest Kelley, Elisabeth Sladen and George Harrison. In fact IMDB have 4,689 names of famous people that died of cancer, far more females than males.

With WHO putting processed meats onto its list of terrorists it forgets to get mentioned that you "probably" won't die of cancer unless you eat processed meats from cans, jars of sauce, bacon, sausages and chicken Mcfucken nuggets every day washed down with 10 ciggies and a pint of Round up and lead a generally unhealthy lifestyle.
What do WHO actually do anyways?  I've never met anyone from WHO yet they think they know what is best for me. 

 Enjoy life .... at yer dead end low paying job because there is plenty of time to be dead later.

Chances of you being murdered because yer a cunt are way higher or maybe the screaming banshee will get ya. If you go through life worried about what might possibly kill you then are you really living?

WHO are a bunch of fun sucking twatwaffles. Next year they'll be discussing if coffee is harmful too. For years coffee has been accused of causing cancer or coffee enemas are being touted as a cure for cancer .... make up yer minds.

Chances are that coffee enemas don't cure cancer .... going by all the people who went with alternative medicine.

Mobile phones probably don't give you cancer but video games makes you want to shoot people and being religious makes you want to molest children ... it's a fact! Or might not be, do we really want facts if we don't like what they say? 

If you werk night shifts, have a coal fire or live near a power plant, get Hepatitis from prison sex, use hormonal birth control, drink alcohol, live with air pollution, smoke tobacco or hang around with a smoker, have an x-ray, lick bars of lead, spray the weeds in yer garden, eat pickled onions or gherkins, do handyman werk with wood or with metal, werk in a dry cleaners, are a firefighter, eat red meat or hotdogs then don't bother reading this, yer dead.

 

How does this picture make you feel? Inadequate, horny, angry, jealous, curious? If it made you feel anything then yer not dead yet so well done defying the odds.   

WHO won't make me change my eating habits, what is the alternative, being vegetarian? If Old Knudsen became a vegetarian he'd have more energy and would probably end up running a European cuntry and before you know it he'd be throwing some minority group into ovens or something. Famous vegetarians have been Hitler, Genghis Khan, Ted Bundy, Margaret Thatcher, Darth Vader and Sauron Lord of Mordor. 

Never trust a person who 1) turns down a bacon butty and 2) thinks that snot is a food group.

Some people smoke 100 a day and live until they are 150, life is a crap shoot. They told Old Knudsen he'd go blind because he wanked so much but no, his vision is just a little blurry so fuck all those anti-wank people who knew nothing. Sure he must shave the palms of his hands every week but it's a small price to pay.