Why have we only been to the moon (not including Old Knudsen's times) 5 times? Commander Lightbeer has the answers. He couldn't say anything before as he was waiting for documents to be declassified.
Now the truth is out there.
It seems that they met with a race of aliens known as the Greys, the Greys like to tie and chain people up and beat them with a riding crop and of course anally probe them. E. L. James 50 shades of grey was brought about from her regression therapy after being abducted.
Commander Lightbeer goes on to say, "They are some nasty suckers, they had Armstrong for 3 hours and afterwards he couldn't ride a bike for a week, no wonder he never discussed it."
Get off my moon!
Recently a probe was sent to the dwarf planet Ceres for a laugh. 7 years ago they had some extra budget and so threw something up and now it has finally reached the asteroid belt between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter ..... no one really cares but they have to do something with their time.
Strange lights were found on the dwarf planet. NASA have said that it's probably just shiny space ice but Lightbeer knows better.
"NASA have been trying to find new places to land but because there are alien cities on Ceres I bet someone at NASA lost their job. Can't speak I'm being watched, you know why American money is made of cotton and not paper? They weave tracking strips into the $20 bills."
Lightbeer's nurse moved him away from the window I was standing outside of thus ending the interview. I think we've heard enough.
Get rid of yer $20's and don't believe the grey propaganda in the movies, getting tied up and probed isn't that much fun .... no lips were bit in my case.
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