Lights In Space

Many people remember the name Lance Armstrong as being the first (American) man to set foot on the moon but no one remembers the second, Buzz Lightbeer. Since the Apollo landings of 1969 no one has ever been to the moon since ... except for 4 other times after that but do we really believe it?

Why have we only been to the moon (not including Old Knudsen's times) 5 times? Commander Lightbeer has the answers. He couldn't say anything before as he was waiting for documents to be declassified.

 

  Now the truth is out there.

It seems that they met with a race of aliens known as the Greys, the Greys like to tie and chain people up and beat them with a riding crop and of course anally probe them. E. L. James 50 shades of grey was brought about from her regression therapy after being abducted. 

Commander Lightbeer goes on to say, "They are some nasty suckers, they had Armstrong for 3 hours and afterwards he couldn't ride a bike for a week, no wonder he never discussed it." 

 Get off my moon! 

Recently a probe was sent to the dwarf planet Ceres for a laugh. 7 years ago they had some extra budget and so threw something up and now it has finally reached the asteroid belt between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter ..... no one really cares but they have to do something with their time. 

Strange lights were found on the dwarf planet. NASA have said that it's probably just shiny space ice but Lightbeer knows better. 

"NASA have been trying to find new places to land but because there are alien cities on Ceres I bet someone at NASA lost their job. Can't speak I'm being watched, you know why American money is made of cotton and not paper? They weave tracking strips into the $20 bills." 

Lightbeer's nurse moved him away from the window I was standing outside of thus ending the interview. I think we've heard enough. 

Get rid of yer $20's and don't believe the grey propaganda in the movies, getting tied up and probed isn't that much fun .... no lips were bit in my case.  

The Moon Is A Fake

Picture of the moon in 1972

Noted Moon expert and Holocaust denier Dr Brain Dawson has made an astonishing claim that the moon we are looking at in the sky isn't the same one that Lance Armstrong set foot on in 1969. Their are some who don't believe that Lance Armstrong actually landed on the moon at all but that's another story.  

 The super moon over Seattle 2014.

Having spent decades studying the moon he compared his old pictures from the 70's and 80's to the moon of today.

"There are many slight differences to hundreds of features visible from Earth such as to the crater Stevinus on the upper right or the Mare Undarum or the Mare Cognitum. Someone has gone to a lot of trouble and have replaced the moon with one of their own."  

According to Dr Dawson none of the changes could have possible come from meteor strikes even though more than a metric ton of meteoroids hits the Moon every day. We know this as NASA had seismometers on the moon recording impacts, they turned them off in 1977 which is when Dr Dawson believes the moon was switched. 

NASA was doing a lot of things up there that the public never knew about such as the crashing of 9 million dollar spacecraft into the moon's surface to allegedly record the impacts.

"Armstrong landed near the bottom of the Sea of Tranquillity, we all watched the recordings but now you'll find that all the history books say it was really the center of the sea instead. This was something Armstrong himself never denied." Said Dawson from a secret location in his mother's basement.

 

Promoting the lie or laughing at their in-joke by using the moon in their logo?

Jeffrey Katzenberg one of the co-founders of DreamWorks animation used to work for Disney who was allegedly collaborating with NASA to do astronaut training movies in the late 70's.

Dr Dawson does not say why the moon was replaced or by who as it's a long and convoluted story, you'll have to buy the book, that's if the Jew run media will risk him exposing their world domination plans...... was that a spoiler? 

Hey lay off the foreskins and Old Knudsen will join up. 

  

I Landed On The Moon

For years now I've told you that the moon landing was fake and that it was shot in a studio in Arizona but now I have a confession to make, it really happened.

Who is going to believe me? Well who cares? Due to the recession the US government have been cutting back of their disinformation agents and so it doesn't pay me to make up shit anymore, now it's just a hobby. Why have there been so many conspiracies around the moon landing?  Well that was to cover something else up.
 

 

Old Knudsen might have been the first man on the moon, who knows? Back then we weren't keeping score, we were just trying to survive. Earth was under attack from a race of bug like aliens who were based on the moon.
We don't know their motive or real name, we called them cliggs from the sound they made. After taking out our base on Mars they headed towards the Earth.

Like pill bugs or roly polys they'd roll up into a ball and then fall through the atmosphere using their exoskeleton to protect them and then they'd unfurl and go on a killing spree.  If people saw them fall they might think it was a meteor, on the bright side it was a larger world back then, no one was connected by camera phones and so you could engage in genocide in the more rural parts of the world.

The queen bug was on the moon spewing offspring at Earth, I was already there waiting for Armstrong to deliver NASA's latest super weapon. We lost some good men on Mars and Old Knudsen wanted payback. He also wanted to visit the all female base on Venus that the NASA nerds kept babbling about. 

Armstrong landed on the moon cos I was there!       

Why did their landing module not make a crater? It did weigh 17 tons but on the moon it only weighed about 2 and a half. NASA weren't dumb enough to land it on sand, that thing touched doon on solid rock that had a thin layer of sand. 

Why did the flag wave? Once something starts to move on the moon it keeps doing it .... duh!

What about the shadows going in different directions that obviously means various light sources right? 

Well that proves the landing was a fake .... no wait, that proves yer a moron. 

The rock with a 'C' that proves it was a movie studio. No, that proves that even in space yer pubes will find their way into yer unopened butter ..... explain that one.   The c was a pube on the lens. 

What other amazing things have bored virgins noticed? Reflections in helmet visors maybe, you've got this thing called lens flare which is on several pictures, it's a phenomenon that also happens on Earth. Now you also have this thing called photoshop which can convince a new generation too lazy to Google the truth.

Can't be lens flare, obviously must be from studio lights. The government lies to you on a regular basis about things that effect you and yet this is what you go on about. 

Why no stars in the sky when they took photos? Ever try to take a photo of the moon using yer average 14 megapixel camera? only the very brightest of stars will show and that is with our modern cameras. Go take a pic of a street light and see if any stars show up in the picture. It isn't rocket science dude. 

On brightly lit streets you can't even see stars with yer eyes, figure it out ya dope. 

I'm sorry to ruin yer delusions but it did indeed happen and I did indeed destroy the queen Cligg and her army. The moon is still highly contaminated with radiation so we won't be going there anytime soon.

Now what do we have left? well, Elvis did die in 1977 on the toilet, Jimmy Hoffa Amelia Earhart and Lord Lucan did get abducted by the Greys for hybrid experiments and some ragheads did indeed fly into the WTC because seriously folks, Bush was president, he couldn't even make a success of his own domestic spying programs never mind anything else, he destroyed the American dream and the economy, the man was an idiot.  Yes it took Obama to make those programs work but that is because of his reptilian hybrid mind which is most devious.