Cutting Off The Left Doesn't Make It Write

Mark Goddard has a reason for looking like this. I don't just mean bad genetics or the fact that he is English, the man is in a world of pain and the NHS won't help.

His left arm has been in pain since a motorcycle accident in 1998 but doctors won't do anything except put him onto 40 pain killers a day. He asked them to cut his left arm off but because he had an in tact, useful hand they refused to.

I can just imagine him talking to himself as he puts his master plan into action, "I'll teach you, like my hand do you? oh boy, I'm crazy .... like a fox, you can't outwit me." I would have used a guillotine for cutting paper. A handy tip for you ... at the end of the world merely unscrew the single screw holding the blade on and you have a handy curved sword.   

So the miserable looking fucker cut his hand off. People in chronic pain can smile for the 5 seconds it takes to take a photo, not that it would be an improvement. C'mon lad, worse things happen at sea.

It was after receiving a letter saying they would not amputate his arm that he started to make the guillotine, maybe he has never used an axe before or maybe he believed how easy it was to cut bits off thanks to the Walking dead and other zombie movies.

He planned it that his wife and son were out and laid plastic and paper doon in the garden. The axe only cut half way through with his hand hanging off backwards and since he wasn't able to reset his machine single handed, he grabbed a scalpel and cut through the rest of the tendons and arteries.

He had a bucket with charcoal burning away and threw his hand onto it so the doctors couldn't sew the hand back on.
After he bandaged his stump he texted his wife to call for an ambulance as the blood still pissed out.

He dragged his machine into the shed and cleaned up his drop sheets a bit. Fair play to the crazy fucker he did sit on the bench outside rather than get blood all over his hoose.

When his wife got there he got her to hose off the patio while they waited for an ambulance. It took a while so he then got her to mow the lawn and put up some shelves ..... hey you can't expect a one handed man to do it.

So now the doctors don't have any reason not to cut off his arm ... or so he thinks. Maybe having a useful hand was merely an excuse for not cutting big bits off yer body off as it's kinda dangerous surgery.

He says he'll cut off more bits of his arm if they don't, how about some psychiatric treatment for the lad. Maybe a chin implant and a hair graft .... the things he does to get out of putting shelves up.

The NHS is full of incompetents and many who just don't care, being in pain is never taken seriously as it's yer word about the level of pain yer in and hey, everyone just wants drugs right?

There are some good people in the NHS but they are fighting against a terrible system and the incompetency of many others.  

Good for him, he may be a crazy fucker but it's a crazy system with crazy standards.

Kris Hallenga has become a spokesperson for breast cancer after being diagnosed with it at the age of 23. When she was 22 she went to her doctor with a large lump in her breast and the doctor said it was hormones, you'll be fine.
After 6 months she still had it and went to a different doctor who said, ach it's probably the pill yer on, go home you'll be fine..... cos that's what doctors do.

She is young and breast cancer in young weemen is not common. It's best to go home and have a cup of tea instead of worrying about tit lumps.

NHS doctors aren't used to thinking outside the box and the last thing they want to do it to raise costs by ordering tests. They don't even weigh you or even take yer blood pressure for fucks sake. The second doctor didn't even re-examine Kris as she had been examined 6 months ago .... huh?????

Kris' mother told her to insist on seeing a consultant and a referral was made for that. By the time all of this took place her breast cancer had spread to her spine.  You can read about her amazing self right here. Kris is now 25 and is living life to the full as you never know how much time you have left or when the drugs will stop working.

It's bad that you have to insist and have to take matters into yer own hands as Mr Goddard did, so to speak.  In the US they would do tons of tests in order to rule things out and it wouldn't takes weeks to get the tests. Of course if you don't have medical insurance or money then yer fucked. The NHS may be crap but it's better than nothing.

If you have to navigate the NHS then here is Old Knudsen's advice.

GP's and other doctors only like things they can see and treat which is why chronic pain and mental illness gets brushed aside and you don't get help. If they can't treat you they may just refer you to someone who can or it's just their way of getting rid of you .... passing the buck.


Be yer own health advocate, if you aren't getting help then insist on it. If you have a lump or strange discharge make sure they do tests. If you aren't happy then see another doctor but demand treatment.

It's in yer best interest to speak up.  Old Knudsen is past caring about the feelings of doctors and surgeons who should know better. If you don't want to do yer job properly then go work at KFC.

When a doctor keeps a stack of blank wills in his briefcase then maybe you should change yer doctor. 

Doctors do not always know what is best for you, they are overworked and underpaid so it is you that must make sure they are doing their jobs. If yer referral is taking too long then check that it was actually sent. If you are told that you are fine but find that hard to believe then don't.

Going into a doctor's office with depression only to be told that you don't have depression is a load of cock.

Doctors do not like people taking time off work and would rather send you back to work even though you'd suffer and get worse. Don't suck it up, don't know yer place. Being a martyr will get you no thanks from anyone .

There will be no statues built to you for going into work and doing yerself more damage and who has time to go to the doctor when there is work to do?   Yer family need you more than yer work colleagues.    

Insist on treatment, be pushy and check up that they are doing their job.


Yer job is to check yer bits and yer tits. Men can get breast cancer too. Any lumps where there shouldn't be lumps, blood coming out where it shouldn't, fever, fatigue, pain, skin or eyes looking jaundiced or skin looking darker, white patches in yer mouth, odd moles or warts, odd weight loss .... if in doubt, get it checked it out.

The sooner the better as catching most health problems early gives you a better chance of being cured.


The NHS isn't free, you pay taxes to support it and so you are the customer. Demand customer satisfaction.  You shouldn't have to threaten legal action or cut bits of yer body off.