Paddy was a dirty Pagan like most of his people until he was captured by Irish pirates and used as a sex slave for 6 years.
He liked it so much that he joined a Christian religious order and was sent back to Ireland in search of Irish snake.
It is said that Patrick banished the snakes from Ireland which is why Ireland doesn't have any today .... nothing to do with being an island or the ice age. Patrick sent the snakes to Northern Ireland where they evolved into politicians.
Today is a day to celebrate St Patrick's death cos being a Christian he was obviously a pedophile cunt. So raise a glass and say, "thank fuck hes dead" to be sure to be sure.
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