Oxford University Can Lick My Star

Alastair Herron an 18 year-old lad from Bangor, Northern Ireland. He got seven A* grades in his A-Level exams. I don't know anything about no exams but I hear that is an excellent result.

So why was he then rejected by Oxford?

He has been studying the likes of biology, chemistry, physics, maths, further maths, Latin and Greek. Aye this lad may find a cure for yer stupidity some day.

In fact because he lives in the arsehole of nowhere known as Northern Ireland he couldn't find someone to teach him Greek, the wee swot had to teach himself Greek... WTF!!!  

Do ya think a skinny wee lad from Bangor would fit in at Oxford? Oh look, George Osborne looking lost as usual. 

Was he not good enough for Oxford? I'm sure being from Northern Ireland had nothing to do with it. Oh no the snooty English wouldn't have turned him doon just for being *Irish*, he even has a snooty name that would fit in well there.  

We all know how much the English love the people of Northern Ireland, "you want to be British? well you'll never be good enough to be English so fuck off Paddy."

So young Al was given a $64,000 scholarship to attend California's Stanford University, USA fuck yeah!

He'll get better teaching and experience opportunities, not held back by a class system in which the inbred morons float to the top.
When the Americans call him Irish it will be out of admiration not with an English sneer, meant as an insult.
He'll no doubt get offered a job after college and will become American someday ... he has it made.

Because everyone except the English and fleggers love the Irish he'll even lose his virginity .... big time. "Oh I love your accent" says the hot chick out of his league but gagging for it because hes Irish.
Yes, even he can get laid there. 

When I hear that all the brains and professional people are leaving the UK to live and work in the US I'll remember young whats his name and say, "well what do you fucking well expect you idiots?"

Old Knudsen is glad hes getting out of this shit hole as he'll do so much better over there.

This lad is someone you'd save a seat on the shuttle for if you had to pick a handful of humans to survive after the earth blows up .... and Oxford didn't want him.  




*Even if you are British the English will still call you Irish as that is how they think of us*