Drug Mules Take It Up The Ass

 It has been a bit of a cringe making story. 20 year-old Michaella McCollum Connolly from Northern Ireland worked as a nightclub hostess in Ibiza, having fun enjoying the party life and then she vanished.

 

The newspapers were full of her pictures and people on Facebook were sharing pics of her to try and find her.
What a harsh looking bint said Old Knudsen, well lets hope shes found so I don't have to see her face any more.

She was found, along with Scottish gurl Melissa Reid in Peru arrested for trying to smuggle 18 packets of cocaine, back to Spain in their suitcases. Each gurl had an amount weighing around 6 kg (13.2lbs)

Everyone concerned about her went WTF!!! if you say 'ach sure would you rather she was found dead in a ditch?' I'm sure she would prefer that if they find her guilty. 
  

Michaella McCollum Connolly on the left has always seemed too concerned with her hair and makeup than anything else while Melissa Reid has done a fair amount of crying. Look at her smiling pretending that nothing is happening, this is her trying to look relaxed and innocent when first questioned.

I don't know how much money they were offered to do this but really, it would have to be a lot and you'd have to be pretty dumb too.
They protest their innocence and say they were forced at gun point to do it .... no I'm pretty sure they could have gotten away if they had wanted to.
They don't look particularly bright, I bet they thought they could get away .... ach it's only Peru and Spain, no one even checks the bags, we're white and fucking gorgeous, they'll lets us through. 

When arrested they starved themselves and chain smoked cigarettes, too innocent to eat I suppose.  

Has the severity of their actions finally hit them? Their lawyer was saying how they have to sleep on a foam mattress on the floor in dirty conditions and were not given any food the day he was speaking ... if someone turns doon Old Knudsen's chilli then fuck them, I don't offer it twice.

The pair were formally charged with drug trafficking and were refused bail, just before that they had given Melissa's father Billy a shopping list of necessities.

So now they want to learn Spanish, and don't forget how important it is to wax that muff while in prison ...... moisturize.
Oreos, a sports bra - size 32FF and Pringles cos once you pop you can't stop .... like drugs I suppose.

I liked the Nature Valley honey and oats bars .... no other brand right?

I think it will hit them pretty soon and Pringles will be quite far from their minds. The Santa Monica  prison they are now being held in has around 1,035 inmates, it was only designed  to hold 450.... Not Santa Monica Callyfornia by the way .... they wish.

The pair did holiday stuff in Lima and Cuzco and even posed with a police officer for a picture, the judge had to wonder why they didn't ask for help. Lets take this pic and sit around and laugh with our drug dealing friends as we live the high life.

They can face up to 15 years for trying to smuggle cocaine worth £1.5 million out of the country . I think that them being idiot 20 year-olds thought they could do anything, who knows what else they have smuggled? .... you've no doubt done cavity searches, I'd check that hair for another 6 kg.

Children huh, the things they put their parents through. I wonder if the missing persons put out by Michaella's family had anything to do with them getting more attention by the police. 

Don't smuggle drugs! If you do, don't get caught.