Wank With The Lord

Masturbation is a completely natural thing to do, a God given gift if you will. If you don't do it then thats like having a race horse and only using it to pull yer turnip cart. If you don't use it you lose it, soon that horse wouldn't  be able to race any more and would be only fit for burgers.

Every morning Old Knudsen wakes up and sees that God truly loves him by bestowing a big fuck off hard throbbing gift to him.
If Old Knudsen is not alone in his bed/wanking chariot then its the other person/animal/sex doll that God is blessing that day.  
 

Men and weemen touch themselves while thinking about Old Knudsen on a regular basis. I can feel the tremor in the force so don't lie.

 

It's ok, especially if you look hot while yer doing it.

If not then it's the thought that counts.

Crack open a cold one then crack open yerself. 

 

But most of all, just have fun and don't let yer ma catch you.