God Told Me To

Old Knudsen has had it oh yes he is bloody pissed off it seems the Free Presbyterian church has decided it is wrong for Old Knudsen to have a relationship with a female because she was born with a penis. C'mon people its not like I'm ghey or anything gross like that.

Old Knudsen is splitting with the church and promoting his own. Not Santeria, Church of England and definitely not Fenian, Old Knudsen is getting modern yet stealing all that is good about Free Presbyterianism. Old Knudsen presents Wii Presbyterianism.

Merely point yer wii at the telly and make the congregation sing a somber hymn like, "Jesus touched me down below" or "Suffer little Fenian cum unto me" its great you don't have to leave the hoose you can worship all day and night with yer wii in yer hand in front of the telly.


Let a lovely lady friend use yer wii as she pumps it up and doon to get the organ going, oh yeah cumbyah Lard I'm a coming to heaven!

To follow the Scriptures correctly a true Protestant must protest to be one with God and the best thing about Wii Presbyterianism is you can go out to places that show questionable plays or movies and shake yer wii at the public to show yer disgust at their ungodliness.

Nothing like a group of Christian men and weemen shaking wii's to get the public's attention, NO to same sex marriage NO to once a month sex marriage we demand different sex all the time and as long as the man cums then God is happy.

Climb aboard my wii to Heaven cos all the other religions will burn in the firey pits of Hell. Grab a wii and shake it fer God he doesn't care how silly you look he just likes a happy ending with fluffy clouds and shit.


"Jesus touched me doon below, its our secret he told me so, don't tell mummy or yer Da they'll burn in Hell and so will ya. Yes Jesus touched me the video told me so."


Let Jesus touch you today and let him enter onto you.............. but stay away from the Pope, hes a pedo ya know.