Dead Monkeys Fall Out Of Trees Call 999

Old Knudsen can cure cancer, solve world hunger and reverse aging but he can't be arsed. He once made a clone of himself to avoid jury duty and to have great 3 -ways.

Old Knudsen does not think Alexander was so great and once sold Florida swamp land to wise King Solomon.

He can say "Fuck off you tree frog licking cunt!" in 8 languages.

He destroyed Count Dracula by giving him alcohol poisoning and proved you don't need a silver bullet to kill a werewolf if you have a .50 cal Desert Eagle.




He chatted to German soldiers distracting them so that 338,226 soldiers could be evacuated from Dunkirk in 1940.

He can do 6 minute abs in 4 minutes while singing a Russian folk song about Cossacks hacking peasants to death.

While during a blogging break he still posted more than most bloggers do.

You expect him to never call you after having sex and love him for it.

He knows what was on the television that Elvis shot. He was the first man on the moon but no one knows which moon.

He once fisted a lemur on each hand and started a new fashion trend for gloves with big bug eyes.

Old Knudsen is the most interesting person in the world and his mammy thinks hes wonderful ............................. so does yers.

The people at the Weeby Awards asked Old Knudsen if he knew anyone else deserving of a Weeby Award, they have still yet to hear from him.

Stay horny my friends.




999 being the date and the British equivalent of the American emergency services number 911.