Sunday, 27 January 2008

No, I Am The Way

Get off my fucking bathrobe ya cunts. Old Knudsen BC (before cap)

For those who read me and not just click out when they don't see a dirty picture you'd know I'm having a wee catholic problem at the moment.
None of yous would have known about it if the Diocese of leeds (where ever the fuck that is) hadn't had a solicitor send Blogger a fax complaining that my wee blog alleged some priests were pedos and made up other stuff. Well duh! are all Catholic clergy stupid or did I just hit the jackpot? it says on my profile on that wee blog that hardly anyone reads that I make stuff up and do satire so maybe I hit a nerve and uncovered a nest of pedos.

As a Free Presbyterian level 5 Voodoo Grand Dragon Wizard I don't know too much about Catholicism, is that the Tom Cruise cult or the ex Nazi cult ? But I do know my Bible so on this fine Sunday you can either have a Bible lesson here or click over to Infomaniac to see a picture of Manuel's bare naked bottom. For fuck sake you had better cum back and read the rest.

Jesus was crucified on a Friday unless you go into details and find that doesn't make sense as he rose on Sunday morning, hardly 3 days and 3 nights also they did the whole crazy arse way of splitting days, so the days started and ended at sundoon so Saturday would have started at sundoon on Friday which is why we have those 'Eve' celebrations and then the actual day.

So he had to have been crucified on Wednesday morning which is highly unfortunate because it was all you could pancakes at HOPI pancake hoose so I missed the whole thing, that 30 pieces of silver was burning a hole in my bathrobe.

Anyway as we Christians say, "Details smetails just believe it and stop asking questions " so I was crucified on Half naked Thursday by the solicitors which doesn't sound as nice as 'Good Friday' I'm still waiting for my Viagra to kick in as it would be nice to rise again at my age.

I don't want this to become sectarian, I'm against morons and bullies in general and if they happen to be Fenian cocksuckers then so be it, they are now my Jews.

I have backed up my blogs and am prepared to be martyred by those deity killing pedo cunts if need be.
I was once touched by a priest he said "turn the other cheek" and that touched me, then he buggered the hole off me and sodomised me, or was that the army? or was that prison? maybe it was that film with Edward Norton where he starts out as a cool sick as fuck Nazi and ends up as a prison raped silky boy 'Death to Smoochy' I think it was called.

So anyway Jesus died on the toilet of a heart attack just before he turned 50, he never got over his Da leaving him there on the cross.
He ended up as a wafer called Soylent Green and then even after the Catholics ran out they kept doing symbolic cannibalism in their foul rituals known as 'Black masses' named after the misogynist crackhead Saint Peter whose last name was Black , he ended up dead in the foundations on a building site and a church was built upon him a Roman mafia thing.

I get the father and son part but what about the holy ghost ? in Killamory holy ghost is slang for 'toast' so you'd have a cup of rosie lee and some holy ghost, now that makes more sense and sounds like heaven to me.

So if every sperm is scared then why is the Diocese of Leeds such wankers ? it doesn't take much to scare them and shake their faith, I told you I was the greatest blogger in the world. Herr Pope is casting his spells on me over a pair of young buttocks and some goats blood as I type I can just feel it, no wait maybe it the Viagra, nope it was a bowel movement, thank god for commodes, at least he did something right.

I know Catholicism boiled doon to its purest form is just a way to keep the people (mostly weemen) in line as all the Jewish based religions are, go to a Muslim country to see how its done. So if sperm is scared are weemen's eggs also sacred ? So to stop weemen having periods you either have to keep them pregnant 'all' the time or use the pill.

With all the logic that goes along with this religion it kinda makes the Free Presbyterians look normal. I'm not looking for a holy war however I would like the boy bashers to gurn up and take it like a man.
I hope they don't read this post and bully Blogger with legal action again cos if they closed my blog/s it would be quite annoying and may take up an hour or two to set up another one. You can take my Blogs but you'll never take my opinions!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heres something a Catholic understands, a dirty protest.

If anyone wants the e-mail from Blogger with the legal letter attached or the original post just e-mail me and I'll send it to you. Those who missed it all read the post below this one.


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14 comments:

The Mistress said...

What time did he rise on Sunday morning?

I'll bet I get up earlier on a Sunday than he does.

Oh, and "mj" is in my wv. You did that for me, didn't you?

Anonymous said...

That was a good post, but man, the last image is now burned in my brain. Where do you find this stuff? Ewww. Poop is supposed to be funny.

The Mistress said...

That's some funny shit, man.

Hey, now my wv has "bj" in it!

Neponset River Bridge Dig said...

why this is an outrage!!!

I do like your dirty pics btw

marky said...

God looks like Russell Crowe

Old Knudsen said...

I just did a load of snide remarks and blogger had an error and I lost them, I think they are on to me.

Old Knudsen said...

mj he had his clock set for 9am, I'll put 'my willy' in yer WV next time.

witchypoop its funny when you fling it,those monkeys sure know funny.

rich I'm an outrage but the pics stop me from getting flagged.

marky Gladiator or Romper stomper Crowe?

MJ so wrong on so many levels.

kara said...

Jesus was crucified on a Friday unless you go into details and find that doesn't make sense as he rose on Sunday morning

Didn't you know? Days were a lot longer in BC. Earth made in 7 days and all that. When Jebus died/rose, he took several hours with him, just to be an asshole and then we were left with 24.

That picture...nevermind, I don't want to talk about it.

Old Knudsen said...

I wonder what she thought as that jet came doon.

Jenny said...

I now need to pour bleach in my eyes.

Old Knudsen said...

The Nazis used that old trick with the Slavs, good luck.

Bittersweet said...

i had to put my hand over the screen, and blink really fast.

Perry Neeham said...

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Staggering photo. I'm on the floor pissing myself.

Oooops!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Now, I don't care what anybody thinks, that's true talent to be able to do a geyser out yer arse. True talent indeed. I must try it, you know just for a challenge. I am anal retentive.