Monday, 17 December 2007

Dora You Fat Headed Cunt

From the episode 'Dora and the dirty Sanchez of shame.'


Its official I am pissed off. Its been building and building for the last 10 plus years and now I'm ready to kill.

The media which is controlled by Rupert? Robert? Murdoch? Maxwell? oh I can't keep my rich fuckers straight, anyway they are not only influencing the news (my news blog stands alone against evil like Great Britain did in 1940) but children's shows too.
As well as being a life counselor at the Ohmm well being clinic and manning the suicide hotline every other weekend I also have a creche for working parents, yep as long as you don't mention it they let sex offenders look after children, besides that gurl was 16 and at that age I was beheading the French for my country so hardly a child, silly laws.

I was watching Dora the bastarding Explorer while the kiddies sucked doon their milk and Whiskey to keep them quiet and I was disgusted at the message being given by the show.

They said that princess Diana was a fraud and a sham.

Dora's monkey "Boots" took an over dose or something and had passed out, Dora not being too smart and with her parents nowhere to be seen as usual decided she had to become a "true" princess to wake him, no not a doctor, a true princess.

To do this she had to get the red ring from the dragon (anal sex metaphor) the dragon ended up really being a prince and was set free which symbolises coming out of the closet. Then she had to go to the giant rocks ( ball sucking metaphor) and on to the magic kingdom (the sometimes elusive female orgasm metaphor) Princess Diana had not done any of this as our fair princess was a virgin when she died (her sons came from god like Jesus did, you believe that one right?) so they are saying that Diana was not a true princess, you fucking bastards I'll gut yous all like the cowardly fish you are and I'll slaughter yer families and anyone in their e-mail address books.


It seems to me, she lived her life, like a candle in the wind. What the fuck does that mean? she was hot and went out a lot? Princess Di really was lovely wasn't she, ach I swore I wouldn't cry.

Then there is that Osama Bin Laden buddy Mohamed al-Fayed , he has sullied her good name for years saying that Diana (or England's Rose) was an Arab fucker.

His son was her servant obviously. During the Empire all the toff officers had wogs as servants nothing odd there but Fayed says that this Dildo guy was her boyfriend? well even if she was engaging in anything sordid and hairy like that it wouldn't count, just like in biblical times when if a woman wasn't married (as Mary wasn't) she was still classed as a virgin.
Servants and wogs don't count as significant others they are just rough trade. I'm not being racist its just that they are inferior as the English are to the Scots, not racist just the way it is.

Everyone knows that Fayed is a camel jockey shop owning cunt who has accused our Royal family of alsorts of crazy things and why? to get more business for his shop 'Harolds' (I refuse to endorse that over priced shit hole with a real name) so the line must be drawn here.

Osama killed Diana, their secret Arab agent, Dildo grabbed the wheel of the car and rammed them into a stone pillar as those sand savages are prone to do, then the paramedics who had been infiltrated by Al Qaeda finished her off.

I ask you now, nay I command you (as I am a natural leader) to boycott Dora and Harolds and the middle east in general, no going on holiday there, go to Burma and buy a ruby. I hear theres a new strain of Ebola opening up in Africa that doesn't kill you so fast go see that, reviews of it are spreading like wildfire as it can't be contained so easily because they don't die right away.

If you want to know how the Dora story ended, Aslam the Lion king with the big deep porno voice made her feel like a princess then summoned the flying unicorns which she used to fly over the giant rocks , see? all about sex its disgusting. Boots was announced DOA at the hospital, as well as drugs in his system 2 pints of semen was found in his stomach.

14 comments:

The Mistress said...

How much semen do you have to swallow to maintain a well-balanced diet?

Old Knudsen said...

A lot would be the smart answer.
When a Bulimic or Anorexic swallows cum do they throw it up afterwards? you should start an agony blog.

marky said...

You seem angry old fellow, but i don't think you will slaughter anyone you old softie. You're funny ha ha, no funny peculiar. What's with the Scottish theme? Theyr'e into plaids right?

Old Knudsen said...

The blood of Edward the Bruce flows in my veins, whats with the Scottish theme? and I thought Paddy did a lot of drugs.
When I slaughter its in the name of the Lord, go dig about my garden. No that wasn't an invite.

Anonymous said...

The blood of Bruce, but of course. Mine is of William Wallace too. No wonder we think alike.

I can't stand those frigin shows Dora and Go Diago. They're the whole reason I have to hit another button on the phone for English. Ya fucks, it's America not Mexirico.

Excuse the nonsensical rant but I know what I'm talking about...

marky said...

You're virtually a puppy in plaids. Merry Christmas Grandfather. I hope for a cup of soup.

Foot Eater said...

Wasn't Dildo that lady who was shot to death by Freddie Mercury in 1999? Jan Dildo, the presenter off Crimewatch.

Old Knudsen said...

ellie "I'm still standing" was about a painful 4 hour erection.

babz the suicide hotline is being out sourced to India.

marky Johnny Depp described America as a puppy with claws, I would say it was a retard with the mental age of 4 holding a loaded gun. No soup for you, you ghey graven image worshipper.

Mr eater that case was a shame as I had always wanted to ride her, hey what am I saying that could still happen.

Joanna Cake said...

Im very confused, I thought Ruf was making it up when he said he wanted to give me a 'dirty sanchez' and explained what it was...

Old Knudsen said...

Nope its all true and very smelly, enjoy yerself.

marky said...

Do us all a favor and get back on the juice Grandfather. Tis the season to be jolly, not grumpy. Peace on Earth.

marky said...

Yes Old K, I am taking my legacy. I am taking over your life. You won't last forever, accept it. I shall be The Young Knudsen. We are switching identities. Bit by bit you shall see my blog transfornmed to Young Bitter Balls and you, meanwhile will be waxing down your surfboard and groovin' West Coast style down on Sunset. Happy Holidays.

Jenny said...

*sniff* she truly WAS the people's princess. Aww, I wasn't going to cry either.

Anonymous said...

That does not surprise me, one bit. When I need tech support, I'll not waste time and direct dial to India. We are our own worst enemy.