I'm up for the Darwin award

Old Knudsen has one thing to say about the theory of evolution, it's just a fucking theory, obviously a crap one or it would have been proven by now. Does Old Knudsen look like a fucking monkey?, the answer is no you ballbags, Old Knudsen is a beautiful human being, made in God's image, that God must be a very handsome fellow.

If man was made in God's image then he probably used up his animal parts to make women, that would explain the attraction some have towards sheep, not mentioning any names, (the Welsh, the Spanish) if you make a woman in God's image then you have a Russian athlete, there was no Mrs God so I think that proves Old Knudsen's, well we won't say theory because it's fact and it's history, so we'll call it 'Factory', I may have to copyright that word.

I can believe that Satan planted fake dinosaur bones and gave us a tail bone and common DNA to animals, just to fuck with our heads, he even forced us to exhibit monkey behaviour, and why?, because the Devil is a wanker, I just want to get some of my mates, and hunt that bastard down and beat him to death with our fists, you know like a China man and a dog.

I wouldn't put it past the Devil to have planted the Apes too, remember when they got old Chuck Heston in a cage because he was the prophet of God?, wasn't so funny then now was it?,"You damn dirty apes, go wash your hands before you give me a hand job", Old Knudsen is paraphrasing from memory, anyway, if it's not in the Bible its not real, except for my rants, God talks to me out of a hat so its all cool dude, I like to throw in street talk for the young 'uns .

Another one of Satan's unholy creations are lemurs, those creepy little bug eyed monkey rats, Old Knudsen went on safari in Madagascar some years back, I tried to do God's work but they repopulated, mostly due to the indifference of non-believers, when the Rapture comes, Old Knudsen will laugh his tits off as he flies towards the Mothership and you fuckers are left behind.