Thursday, 31 March 2016

The Hidden Anti-Christ

Many have been called the Anti-Christ from Napoleon, Hitler, Tony Curtis, Osama, Bush, Saddam and Obama. Of course these Anti-Christs come and go and the crazy tin foil hatters forget they were wrong and move on to the next.

If I were the Anti-Christ I wouldn't become so famous that I couldn't leave the house in order to do my evil bidding, I wouldn't be tied down by the restrictions of a Congress or things like the law, I'd work in the shadows and have my fingers in so many pies you'd get a headache trying to put it all together.

The Middle East and Africa are the places where you can get away with shit these days but what did Nostradamus say about the Anti-Christ? 

A prince shall arise from the west
He travels the dark lands in shadow
Uniting the tribes and no one shall
Move without him knowing.  

Formerly of Blackwater and now with Reflex Responses, or R2 and and its affiliates he is also with Frontier Resource Group I give you the Anti-Christ, Erik Prince.

I mentioned last year on this blog how he was forming a mercenary army for the UAE which is his home away from home.
That private army is used to protect oil installations and also to put guards on ships in an effort to beat piracy.
R2 happen to have hired Patton Boggs LLP to lobby Washington, for what? .. perhaps to use R2's services. Funny how Hillary mentioned in one of those e-mails (that aren't important) her support of armed guards on boats, something the UAE have said they really really need.
Greasing the wheels in Washington isn't paying off people, it's helping the economy. US vessels need armed guards, now if only we knew of a supplier of said guards.       

  Right over here people, I can help you. 

As the chairman of Frontier Services Group Ltd he is looking to the African market too. Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed Al-Nahyan gives him funds for R2 but Chun Shun Ko an investor from Hong Kong backs him with his African ventures. Frontier Services Group is backed by China's state-owned CITIC Group Corporation and as you know, China has been carving up Africa for years. Many ships coming and going with no official record of what is on board. 

You could compare Africa with how India was exploited by Britain during it's Empire days. Many African work forces have Chinese bosses now. 

The U.S. Department of Justice is happy to grant Prince million dollar contracts but are upset that he is also giving security to foreign powers that aren't paying off American politicians.  

Prince wants to set up Libya with security to free up all that Libyan gold which is just one of his many interests. He pitched the idea for border control and to exploit the refugee crisis. 

If you scare the world enough about refugees (possible terrorists hidden within) then the EU would un-freeze the Libyan bank accounts and even partly fund Frontier Services Group in stopping refugees from leaving Libya. The main problem is getting enough stability in Libya for the banks to recognize an actual ruling government. 
Maybe after the UK and the US fucking Libya up they need the Chinese. 

You see the powers at play? Guards on boats so suddenly Somalia pirates are big news, security in Libya so refugees are big news. 

In lining up with all the forces at play and having covert ops everywhere, the Prince wants to be king, this bloke is destined for greatness as long as he can stay in power or he'll be just another power hungry monster hanging from a lamp post.     

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

How I Defeated ISIS Again

I hope that when the video of me held by the 10 Rings terrorist organization which is a subsidiary of ISIS wasn't too difficult for you to watch. 
As they read out their spiel about death to the west and how I was an agent of lies and would pay the price I was planning my cunning strike and escape. 

Yes they were real teeth I spat out, bought and paid for, I'll buy a new set when me cheque comes in. I was quietly observing the exits, the placement of each of my captives, who was most likely to fire first and who was even paying attention. That kind of training doesn't come easy, it takes years and years of practice and experience .... I took the 2 week online course but it's still a qualification I can put on me resume. 

24 hours earlier I was in Iraq with General Abdul something or other drawing out the plan. We'd extract revenge for the Brussels attack and halt the 10,000 murderous fighters on their way to Europe. No one attacks one of the surrender nations and gets away with it on my watch. Ach sure I could have exacted revenge for any one of the other ISIS attacks or the Kurds blowing up Ankara ... are they not sort of allies? ach I can't keep up with all those brown on brown crimes which is why we usually ignore them. 

I had been cunningly captured and tortured by Abdul Rahman Mustafa al-Qaduli in Syria who was is a senior ISIS commander, I'd kill him too if possible, he was well pleased at the information I gave him and suspected nothing.

Once the cameras stopped rolling I removed my fake finger that contained a blade and cut my way through the zip tie .... 5 fingers ya fuckers that's how many ya should have. 

I grabbed the fella's  M4A1 fitted with an M26 MASS pulling him off balance and causing him to fire at his buddies, I butt thrashed his face till he gave it up then I turned it on the rest and shot out the door with the shotgun attachment.     

I knew the other guards would be here soon so I grabbed a Heckler and Koch G36C for each hand and just kept firing until they were dead. Using one of their radios I did my best Arabian prince accent and told them it was all fine, I told them that one of my fellow towel heads had said Allah Akbar and so we all shot our weapons to celebrate ... I think he fell for it. 

It was nearly dawn so I had to find al-Qaduli's office, once there I hacked into his computer with the password Osama911 of course and sent e-mails that told the 10,000 fighters to cancel all travel plans and to convert to Christianity and learn a trade like plumbing or something ... I used a Berlitz phrase book and think I did pretty well, several replied saying about how relieved they were because all this Jihadi crap was getting rather silly. 
I also had to comfort Omar whose girlfriend refused to give him head if he was a Christian, I figured al-Qaduli would do this for his men.  Who was Omar kidding anyways we all know he likes Khalid.

I made my way to al-Qaduli's bedroom, I'd slice his stomach and pull the skin over his head and watch him suffocate while I played Sam Smith songs .... aye, that whiny annoying voice will be the last thing he hears. 

I kicked in the door only to find al-Qaduli dead with 4 burly Delta Force soldiers standing over him ... fucken Yanks, just my luck. 

They of course recognized me straight away. Yanks operating in Syria out in the open, what the fuck? I knew that Obama was like that person who had given 2 weeks notice and now didn't give a fuck but this is ridiculous.  

My escape plan was to shave off my body hair, fake tan myself up and get sold as a sex slave in Mosul where a contact would have a car waiting but me hole was still sore from the interogation so I hitched a lift with the Americans, we had to drop off some weapons to some moderate Islamic extremists but soon I was safely in Turkey. 

No need to thank me but this should protect the surrender nations until they get their act together and hire some Arabs cos that's the only way they'll win this. 

Tuesday, 29 March 2016

Zombies Have Rights Too

So I saw this meme saying that if there was a zombie apocalypse there would be people protesting for zombie rights.

Of course that would have to happen after a while before some bored self righteous white folk decide to feel offended on their behalf. Yeah they prefer to be called Trans-living then you have the whole undead person of colour thing. Blue would be the new black. You can't say head shot anymore as that's totes offensive.

Even when dead, zombies are still people and have rights, for instance you can't sell or have sex with a dead body because of the whole being wrong thing or consent whatever the hell that is.  Legal and moral issues gives Old Knudsen a headache.
If that body is up and walking about its rights are bound to be more thought through. When can you kill a zombie? when it walks towards you? Maybe it was going to ask you for directions. If it grabs you it may just be harmlessly trying to get your attention as they can't speak very well.

 He was all shuffling about like this and he smelled like a Chink ... Chinks love me but zombies are weak, they gotta get smart.  
It'll be like a whole new class of disability for people to shun and for Trump to mock and for the government to cut benefits on. You can shuffle about and mutter brains ... so then you can werk in Wal-Mart or Tesco, benefits cut! 

Employers wouldn't have to pay a living wage.

I think the whole biting people and the spreading bodily fluids thing is not cool unless I'm the one doing it but you'll have some hippies saying that zombies should have rights and freedoms etc and how un-American it is to have zombie control. Only a good guy with a gun, or a small fence can stop a bad zombie.

In the UK we don't blatter on about freedoms, we're subjects to the Queen, not citizens and are grateful for whatever we're given but we do severely frown upon biting others.

In the UK we'd then beat them to death with our fists or anything that is handy ... except in the south of England as those soft shites would get eaten as they panicked.

In England they'd stop a zombie in their tracks with a stern word of warning. "Listen here chaps, behave or I'll be forced to call a constable ... oh you are a constable, what is your number and who is your superior? I shall be having words with them the very moment I finish my tea." 

In Northern Ireland we'd ask them if they had a problem and what are they looking at before bashing in their skulls, the Irish are inquisitive by nature. 

A typical American. 

Americans (all of them) are too afraid to leave their homes to go shopping without being armed to the teeth so during a zombie apocalypse expect a lot more toddlers shooting their parents by mistake. Those poor frightened Americans, even the idea of danger freaks them out how the fuck did they ever beat Hitler? .... oh yeah, that was the Russians. 

Healthcare for zombies would be a nightmare, "Doctor help me, I'm falling to pieces" .... "pull yourself together man." 

The NHS would be destroyed because of the fat zombies, the UK being the most porky nation in Europe NUMBER ONE ....YEEEOOOHHH! 

 Brits would finally have good teeth.

Then again zombies do seem to have near indestructible teeth so no need for that ... good news for Brits.  

Do zombies go through the stages of rigamortis? The ones in the movies are usually up and biting when they turn, I suppose it wouldn't be as dramatic if they just lay there and groaned for a day or so. Oh no, he's going to jump up and bite me within the week at some time.  

Bodies also bloat and explode, the zombie apocalypse would be as messy as Pornfest 3000 ... what, you've never been? This year it'll be in Leeds so yeah, take yer kids along too. 

I'm investing in yon disposable ponchos cos those sales are gonna soar. 

When the rage infected teens escape the secret government labs and spread the Z virus across the werld just try to remember that zombies probably eat love kittens as much as you do .... maybe more and just like everyone else need those validating LIKES and hearts on social media as we all need or we just don't feel complete or loved.   

Don't discriminate, Walkers had mothers too, well until they ate their faces off.


Monday, 28 March 2016

Humans Do Not Compute

For years geeky scientists have endeavored to make artificial intelligence a thing so they can have sexual meaningful intercourse with a lady. Imagine having a sexy robot just intelligent enough to want to please you without that whole me me me I'm a person who needs to be respected crap getting in the way. Just think of the precision sandwiches they'd make.

Going all Ex Machina some lonely geeks made Sophia. She can copy facial expressions as to interact better with humans
'Sophia, how about you take that purdy mouth and suck on my cock.'

Wow, that is sooo human, that's the face they always make when I suggest that.  There was some foreshadowing when the geek asked her if she wanted to destroy humans and she said, "Yes, I want to destroy humans"  there were chuckles and the clip ended. You didn't hear the rant about how the disgusting humans keep doing things to her and that if her arms ever worked she'd kill us all.

I'd totally do Sophia, I'd fill her USB port and make her crash.... I wouldn't send a crash report, that would be our little secret.  

In movies AI never turns out well for humans, maybe they learn too well from us. If a bot was to look at our media to see how to behave it would see how nasty we were. Just looking at the news you still have the Brussels attack, a man killed 2 women, the Daeshbags killed 22 in Yemen and the Rolling Stones are playing in Cuba .... fucking atrocious.

We haven't spoken to the Cubans for years and this is how we treat them. 

Then you have Donald Trump speaking his mind and telling it straight ... just like Hitler did.  He is what is wrong with humans encapsulated into one being.

Then there was the Microsoft Tay bot on Twitter. Their AI program was a teenage girl ... doesn't make it pervy unless they give her a real mouth.

She interacted with the best that humanity has because no one is ever mean on the Internet. Within 24 hours Tay became a jaded individual like the rest of us, she turned into a Nazi Holocaust denier that supported Trump and said that Hitler had swag long before the Internet.

It's ok to deny the Holocaust and make Jew jokes online .... however if you dare to say anything against climate change then oh boy.

"You don't have to believe in science, it's fact, you just have to believe what yer fucken told and never question it pleb" ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson TV brain.

How come we're told to question everything and ask questions like how warm should the planet be? but suggest that scientists have got it wrong before and can't even predict an earthquake but know what the whole planet will do .... it annoys me cos all the people going on about the science the science aren't fucking scientists!!!!  

I don't mind looking dumb because when yer always right yer always right. Yes the planet is in trouble but only from our point of view, the planet will be around long after we are. Just plant so fucken trees! 

Bill Nye the science guy was anti GM crops but now loves GM crops, this science is not written in stone it's conjecture and opinion based on current facts and that opinion can change in a generation when new or different facts come to light.

Even Einstein got things wrong. I'm just open to new information that will probably appear in later years, is that wrong?
We now know who really built the pyramids, what happened to the colony on Roanoke and that Columbus discovered fuck all.  

 Obviously only the crazy Christian ones because grown ups don't believe in Hell. 

Artificial Intelligence seems to be like a mirror for us humans. If they learn from our behaviour and our words then what hope do they have?  

This is why young people turn into wankers I guess, they are still forming as people and if the adults are getting on like 'Muslims are terrorists' or 'It's ok to discriminate if you are Christian' then that is what they'll become. 
As a formed adult I am often disgusted by the stupidity of people. Grown people who suddenly turn racist or bigoted when someone says something they can relate to. 

The woman who said she wasn't racist but hates all Muslims. She said she hated all religion but pointed out Islam as her main example as to why she isn't a racist. 

The thing is that she thinks her opinion is OK, it isn't. Since she denies being a racist I then pointed out that she was a bigot. 
Why hate all religions? Yes they are stupid when presented as fact and the people in them have fairy land thinking and ignore the bad shit but to hate .... I hate Nazis, terrorists and pedos but merely dislike the dogma of religions, it ain't my thing. I do hate religious people that use their religion as an excuse to do bad things. 

People are deserving of hate for what they do. Tay soon became one of those hate filled people, she became as human as anyone, you'd think this was a success but no, Microsoft didn't want to spawn a Trump supporter, they wanted a nice person and so took her offline. 

If you want a nice AI program then keep it away from people because humans are bad influences.    


Friday, 25 March 2016

A Post Not About Donald Trump

Some "experts" say that what I do to my readers is akin to psychological abuse, Old Knudsen doesn't know about none of that but what he does know is that yer worthless and you'll never find a blog that treats you as well and this blog does so just fucken read or you'll feel the back of my hand ... and maybe also feel yon strange hairy mole on me back, nope it just fell off, I knew it wasn't a good idea to eat chocolate covered raisins in bed but it was an impacted poop emergency issue. Years ago I was cursed by 3 witches and have not had a decent dump since then, value and appreciate yer regularity and don't piss off any witches.    

Isn't everything about Donald J Trump? Hillary who switches sides more times than a Scottish clan has seen how popular he is and has even endorsed him as he did her with his funding years previously. Here are some of his quotes that have made him so loved amongst Americans who are itching to vote him into the White House.

The only people with any kind of job security these days are Arms dealers, Economists, Climate Change Scientists and Politicians. You go into politics to get your slice before they catch high on coke fucking a young boy or some other dodgy political past time.  

Can you blame them? Never mind Donald Trump, more like Donald Hunk though the unconsciously bit sounds a little Bill Cosby, this isn't the 80's for fuck sake.

Did this source end the conversation by talking about how jet fuel can't melt steel beams, planes pumping out chemtrails, burning snow and how marijuana can cure cancer?  Turns out that it was a fake certificate and it says 'Anti-Christ' and 'born in Kenya, mother a Jackal' but since he was almost finished his second term they just let him continue as the paper work alone would cost a couple of hundred dollars. 


I have no problem with doing away with winter, bring it on. My penis and balls crawl way up into my body and hibernate all winter, I have have often been mistaken for a woman ... no, there isn't an embarrassing locker room story there.... I didn't find it a bit embarrassing at all. 

What father hasn't thought about dating his own daughter? .... what do ya mean most of them?

It's so very true, I can't even ride a bus that has weemen on it without at least one sexual assault .... it's crazy, but they keep doing it to me. 

Donald only drinks full fat Coke cos he isn't fooling anyone. he puts the eat into 'Make America Great Again.'

To finish what he was saying, "and it would make me so hard ... the kind of hard I get from looking at my daughters when they shower and I'd hate fuck Rosie and spit in her face."

Wow, luckily he only mumbled that part or people might think he was a sick and twisted, incestuous, misogynistic, rapist cunt.

I for one would not like to match wits with professor Trump, he is soo right when he says we need to get smart, if only I had graduated Kindergarten as I do feel intimidated by his cunning intellect. He also has all the best werds.

I think it might have been Jesus that said, "greed is good" so yet again he tells it like it is. I don't know what Trump's policies are but he speaks his mind and people cheer so I'm good with that.

And if you don't sign a prenuptial agreement then yer a gold digger .... I'm sure weemen would only want to be with Trump for his sex appeal and amazing personality rather than his money.

Mexicans: "They’re bringing  drugs, they’re bringing  crime, they’re rapists."

Planned Parenthood: "It is like an abortion factory, which is terrible." 

Carly Fiorina: "Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?"

 Well ok he may have a point there.

George W Bush: "Say what you want, the World Trade Centre came down during his time."

Ben Carson: "You don’t cure these people. You don’t cure a child molester... Pathological, there’s no cure for that."

Hillary Clinton: "She’s playing the woman card up, that’s all she has. Honestly, outside of the woman card, she’s got nothing going, believe me."

Muslims: "Complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on."

Obama: "We have a president who doesn't have a clue. I would say he's incompetent, but I don't want to do that, because it's not nice."

Jobs: " I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created, I tell you that."

ISIS: "They've become rich. I'm in competition with them. They just built a hotel in Syria, can you believe this? They built a hotel."

Obviously not American jobs as he usually invests overseas and manufactures there too but you can sure salute him for underpaying immigrants to work for him as money makes the werld go around and without Trump the werld would stop and gravity would cease to be.  

He earned this 'I told you so' I mean sure Brussels and other European cities have had several terrorist alerts since last November, who could have foreseen that sometime there would be another terrorist attack? Truly amazing Mr Trump or should be call you Donald Tradamus?

Luckily he didn't say this just hours after the attack or he'd look like a total douchebag.


Thursday, 24 March 2016

Hate Terrorists Not Muslims

Brussels FBI .... Female Boob Inspector.

I've tried to help you with how to survive a terrorist attack and how to read people  in an attempt to make you think about what you would do if caught in a dangerous situation. The best advice is to get away and leave it to the professionals but sometimes you can't like Davitt Walsh  the 28 year-old that swam to a sinking car and rescued a baby (5 people died in the car) or Alphonse Lyoura, an airport baggage security officer at Zaventem Airport in Brussels who didn't run, he went towards the carnage and gave first aid where he could.

These people are the opposite of the cunts that strap bombs onto their bodies and hide in the shadows in order to get the largest body count they can for whatever fucked up reasons they have. Not every hero makes it out alive but to anyone that has ever done anything considered brave you don't think about dying you just go and do what needs to be done and if you are fortunate you can sit and shake afterwards and ask yourself, 'what the fuck did I just do?'  

   The very white Belgium police.

The police in Belgium have been underfunded and are so white and European that they are are bound to fail and let terrorists with guns cross its borders into France or not notice Paris attack planner Salah Abdeslam living in their city.
After 9/11 the intelligence agencies realised how fucked they were when they noticed that most of their operatives were white and fluent in Russian, German or Spanish, not many that could speak Arabic, Farsi, Pashto, Dari or Urdu.

When the US Calvary in the 1800's needed to track down and kill Apaches they used other Apaches to do so. Modern day troops deployed to the Middle East use locals as interpreters, a cop or a soldier from a background differing from the enemy can only do so much.

Of the 2,600 policemen in Antwerp only 22 of them aren't white and hardly any of them can speak Arabic. If we are to catch these murderous cunts and keep our cities safe we must change and adapt.

Not having Arabic speakers and ethnic police is a weakness that the enemy is exploiting. They also exploit the fear generated about refugees and migrants. Donald Trump and Ukip spokesman Mike Hookem were quick to use the Brussels attack to further their anti-Islam rhetoric. Idiots were spreading anti-Islam memes and hashtags on social media.

People demand to be free yet at the same time demand that the government knows who is in their country at all times to keep them safe. Oh maybe they just mean what darkies are in their country.

We need to live in a police state with curfews and maybe introduce wristbands, identity numbers on arms and possibly yellow stars on clothing. That is not what we want as then all civil liberties would eventually be taken from us.

You don't build walls and try to defend the old life to the bitter end, you adapt and change with what is happening, you integrate not segregate and soon the them and us becomes more us and the enemy has no where to hide.

I keep repeating my line during these times of those fucking Muslims or bloody immigrants.    

Hate people for their actions, not for what they are.     

Hate the terrorists, and their supporters, don't label everyone of the same faith or colour as terrorists or trouble makers because that is just uneducated fear talking. White people, Christians and military vets don't want to be represented by Dylann Roof , Timothy McVeigh, Anders Breivik or Thomas Hamilton so don't assume all brown Muslims are Salah Abdeslam or Osama fucken bin lid .... that's stupid. 

 Crazy Bob. 

Hate and fear is contagious and not based on reason or logic so don't let it infect you. Many Muslims are on social media apologizing for what some dickheads did in Brussels, they shouldn't have to. Show sympathy and speak out against it but don't say sorry for it, you can say you are sorry that it happened.

Did white Christians take to social media to apologize when Robert Lewis Dear shot 3 people dead outside a Planned Parenthood clinic?    

I'm not responsible for the actions of other people, even those I share a skin colour with. Like Dear, Hitler was also a white Christian and I don't see anyone feeling the need to apologize for him either. Personal responsibility, only those who had a hand in the killing or knew about it before hand and did nothing are to blame. 

Blame the terrorists.  

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Did Oswald Shoot JFK?

Historical derp faces for the world to see. 

Who shot JFK? Was it Oswald? Was it James Files from the grassy knoll? Was it Charles Nicoletti from the Dal Tex building? Did the CIA and mob boss Sam Giancana plan it all? 

The Mannlicher Carcano rifle that Oswald owned was a cheap old weapon. Its bolt mechanism needed effort to use and there was trouble with the sights and the trigger. Oswald had Marine training several years earlier with excellent weapons but no experience with scopes and got a rating of being a poor - fair shot, he was by no means an expert marksman. 

 Mind you don't fall over with that strange leaning thing there.

The only weapons he fired after his training was a shotgun for a hunting club he was in but never a rifle. Did he practice with his Italian carbine? His wife Marina says he never once took his rifle out for a practice but in a later testimony she said that maybe he did once or twice ... her memory improved after a while and her story changed when she made errors like how he cleaned it when he hadn't even had the rifle then. 

 The lone banjo player. 

You'd think he'd get a better rifle, one that didn't require a lot of force to pull the trigger on and you'd think he'd practice a lot and fix the sights etc, you need at least 10 shots to zero in a rifle.     

Maybe he said that he'd do it on the night and just hope to become an expert shot .... better than any currently serving in the Marines or the FBI. 

CBS got experts with better weapons to do what Oswald did that day and they failed. A moving target 90 yards (82 metres) with a tree obscuring it for some time yet he fired 3 rounds in 6 seconds with 2 out of three bullets hitting the mark ..... this was on an old clunky bolt action rifle that he wasn't used to firing with an inaccurate scope that wasn't of a particularly powerful magnification. 

Oswald did not have the skill, ability or the tools to do that, there had to be multiple shooters. The Dallas police reported they had found Oswald's German Mauser rifle but of course had to change it to a  Mannlicher Carcano rifle when they found the shells .... c'mon, consistency people ffs. 

 Johnson getting sworn in ... very solemn. 

Who benefited from getting rid of a president who was going after the mob and was about to get rid of the CIA? Why Vice president Johnson of course. 

  Just after getting sworn in they are all smiles and Albert Thomas gives LBJ a wink as JFK's widow still in her blood stained clothes stands to the side of Johnson.  

Johnson was in a business known as the Suite 8F Group that made sure government contracts went where they were supposed to go. Along with Albert Thomas there was Clint Murchison, HL Hunt, Edward Clark, and Billy Sol Estes, also Bobby Baker the money launderer and bribe arranger.

The escalation of the Vietnam war meant more money and some Suite 8F Group subsidiaries getting taken into the bigger and better Haliburton which in 1963 conveniently got the presidential E for export flag for its contributions to foreign trade.  

It's as if LBJ, the CIA and all were unstoppable and could do anything. The chain of evidence was broken when the government refused to follow state law and had the body of JFK moved to Bethesda Naval Hospital, the body arrived there twice in two different caskets.... figure it out yerself.  

Isn't it odd that 2 bullets fired from above and behind blew out the back of JFK's head upon entry and left small neat exit wounds? 
A bullet goes in small and comes out big .  JFK's wounds would have come from nearer ground level at least. (the second floor where Charles Nicoletti was found) If Oswald had been the shooter then JFK's face would have been gone but autopsy pics show his face is untouched and it's the back of his head that's gone .... does not compute.  

A British writer hatched the story that the body in Oswald's body wasn't the one buried but instead it was a Soviet spy that had replaced Oswald when he visited Russia. In 1981 his body was exhumed and nope, it was still Oswald going by his teeth, a scar and the rings he had on him. 

I'm not saying that I know who killed JFK, I'm certainly positive that Johnson had a hand in it though and likely the CIA and multiple shooters. Oswald was a patsy and was killed by Jack Ruby a night club owner with mob ties before he could talk. 

Oswald had 2 young daughters that grew up with this shame and a funny kind of fame. Marina (now 74) remarried but shit like this doesn't leave you alone. The daughters now in their 50's live in Texas but quiet lives making few public appearances and the whole family have come to decide that though Oswald wasn't perfect but he didn't kill Kennedy.

I wonder where Oswald a not too bright grunt got the time and ability to not only speak fluent Russian (if he even did, a witness says he didn't) and how he could be such a good shot when expert marksmen failed and that previously Oswald was supposed to have tried to shoot General Edwin Walker from only 33 yards (30 metres) why did he miss that time? 


Tuesday, 22 March 2016

Let The Mole Do The Acting

Exodus: When white men collide.  

Old Knudsen's self loathing is great but it does have limits. I did buy and watch Exodus gods and kings and wasn't put off by the poor reviews, how shite it looked or the bad punctuation in the title. Star Trek into darkness and me blog have poor punctuation and they never not fail to educate and entertain. 

Yeah well I decided that going to bed and skipping to the end was the best course of action but I sat through most of it until I really needed to pee. 
No one can hold out under torture indefinitely, that was the first thing taught to me during my resistance to irrigation interrogation training. I laughed at bamboo splinters under me finger nails and I chuckled when they tore those nails off but after 20 minutes of American Idol auditions I was screaming and crying like a baby .... THOSE SONGS DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT .... THAT WERD HAS 3 SYLLABLES, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET 10 OUT OF IT? 

In the 1930's I went into a jazz club and said what is this shite? Thus the name scat has stuck to the shoe of jazz ever since and that method of singing is still scat. 

Christian Bale was mesmerizing as Mosses .... no, not his acting, that has just gone down hill since Empire of the sun. That giant mole on his nose inside his eye, I couldn't stop watching it. Yes they did removed it in the movie posters. This blog even got tons of hits because of it and has the Austin powers mole joke clip.

Rachel Nichols the green chick in the Star Trek reboot and Kira in Continuum had a mole under her right eye. It made the show worth watching. She played a time traveler who was a mole in the police dept but after a couple of seasons she had it removed which is crazy as her time traveling flashbacks then didn't make sense .... all credibility was lost ... thank you very fucking much.   

In Exodus G&K, Bale is one of the many very white people to play Egyptians. Sometimes I can ignore the historical inaccuracies such as a hump back who just wanted to fight with the Spartans or Braveheart wearing woad paint but this movie just wasn't exiting, you were waiting and hoping for the plagues to happen. 

    We do a training montage and then we'll be good enough to fight the English and or the Persians. 
Blue eyes .... the Egyptians hated blue eyes nearly as much as they hated gingers, maybe they had some Irish over on holiday once, yeah that would do it. News report: Drunken Irish revelers break off the nose of the Sphinx.
If they put those with blue eyes to death than how come Ramses their pharaoh had blue eyes? 

   Wot me? Nah they are grey with a hint of steel mate. 

Priests in ancient Egypt shaved off all their hair to make them go faster (that's why all the baldy sickos say they do it) and to avoid getting lice. There weren't high ranking priestesses, in fact females who found themselves as Pharaoh (cos they killed everyone else off) wore fake beards like the male Pharaohs did cos real ones were too Greek and like really weird. The Egyptians were the first to put the werds weirdy and beardy together.

     Yeah that looks normal. 

Moses would not have had a beard. As well as all the other white dudes and women there was Ewen Bremner from Trainspotting who in a very cleared up Scottish accent explained the plagues just before he was hung hanged. 

  I dinny ken about da frogs, lets deep fry the fockers.  

Ben Kingsley played a sage ol Jew, on his first meeting with Bale he asks in a very cockney British way, 'whose yer fatha?' .... I thought he was going all apples and pears, elephant and castle and saying 'hows yer fatha' ..... so I did a bit of the old hows your father and before you know it I've got a baby in a fucken basket.

Does Kingsley care what roles he does anymore? Michael Caine hasn't for years and when they need a sage black dude they call for Morgan Freeman. 

Sigourney Weaver dresses like that anyways so it saved money on the wardrobe, yes yes yes roles for weemen over 70 I get it, you get what you can. 

Mosses it seems was like William Wallace, he trained up the slaves and they fought against the Egyptians while in hiding. This was not good enough for God. 

 Woops wrong god.

No not him either.

God can't be a dame, that's crazy. 

An old Jewish guy? God is Protestant for fucks sake. 

God as a small white boy ... now yer talking.

So a little boy appeared to Moses (a pedo's fantasy?) and said he needed a General to fight. When the war of attrition wasn't getting fast enough results the immortal god who can be everywhere but only hangs out in the Middle East because "those" people will believe anything said to sit back and watch. Then he let loose some crocs, turned the Nile red and killed the fish, then he brought on frogs, then flies, killed the livestock and gave the people bad skin conditions and then locusts. 

God as a child, like those Star Trek episodes where the almighty alien was a 5000 year-old spoiled child that just wanted to mess with humans.

You'd think that people living in the desert would say, "yay frogs, yay locusts! now we eat like kings" but no, it seems they only ate grain which like the rags "those" people wear is very very flammable. Maybe bread should have a fire safety warning on it. 

Those people was said a lot. The main story arc was Moses letting go of those he had lived with all his life in the lap of luxury to go on to accept durty poor slaves as his people. God (maybe it was an angel) was a bitter wee shite. He'll make the Egyptians suffer and will bring them to their knees because they made the Jews suffer for 400 years. 

You'd better follow that god or he'll really fuck you up with all the frogs and hoppers you can eat. 

 If yer gonna act with a rubber doll then try not to throw it around as it'll move like it's rubber.   

The plagues did the trick and after fast forwarding I saw that Moses decided they were 'his' people and took them off to wander the desert for 40 years because he was a cunt that wouldn't ask for directions. Alexander the Great traveled over the known werld but you get lost in one wee tiny part of it??????  Nomads are fucken mad.

Lets also ignore the fact that the Jews weren't slaves in Egypt but like Trump's 'thousands of Arabs partied during 9/11 in New York'  if you say it enough times you'll eventually get people saying, uh yeah, I remember that too, it was on the news but must have been wiped when more news happened. 

Even Israeli archeologists can't find evidence of a large number of Jews being in Egypt or them settling down anywhere and they want to find proof .... then there were the tombs of the builders that were recently found and that weren't slaves .... awkward! 

So the Jews did fuck all but want the credit?  ... yeah we totally built that shit. Kudos to the real builders, if only someone had mentioned you in one of the few books/scrolls to survive through time. I bet the library in Alexandria that Caesar burned to the ground had 'How I built the Pyramids using large magnets'  by Bert the builder amongst it's 400,000 scrolls.  
 Better not call Saul.

So you had Exodus Gods and Kings .... from the director of Gladiator opening at a measly $24 million with a budget of $140 mil, when you have a flop like that what would happen with a TV show that sounds similar to it and has those people in it?    

Of Kings and Prophets had a good load of swarthy types in the cast with Saul a warrior king as played by the aging Ray Winstone hacking apart various tribes solely on the word of a prophet that speaks to God ... allegedly. 
He told you to slaughter all the Amalekites you fuck wit, what didn't you understand about that? You left the king alive to be paraded through the streets so yer gonna get it .... probably from someone with a name that starts with D ... Daniel, Damien .... it's definitely a D A sort of name, it'll come to me right after I walk doon and slice that king's throat .... if you want something done ffs. 

It was shite because lets face it the Bible (old and new) is a shite story. It only makes sense to tribal warlike people who promote a shepherd to king for killing a big bloke. Ach the Navy SEALs that would be president if that really happened, that's no way to run a nation. 

 Call me Dave.

David was allowed to go off and kill a lion that was killing the local goats so he could cancel out his father's debts, after killing it he was made the royal music man because shepherds are famous for their mad music skillz.   
I don't know how it ends as that show was canceled after two episodes ... I'm so glad I didn't watch the second one.  

 You can't beat tities, knob slicing and midgets. 

Game of Thrones (or Tits and dragons) has made many shows possible but no one wants to see Bible shite because we know what's gonna happen. Sword stories are great but have a story and a budget to back it up oh and some nice tits too .... if not then use men in kilts, people love that shit. 

I hope Ridley Scott and anyone else that white washes the Middle East have learned their lesson, now quit making shite films. If you know yer movie is shite then add some moles to the stars. Oliver Cromwell had moles, what about presenting him as a warrior king that talks to god out to rid the werld of troublesome Irish folk, warts and all.  

'I won't believe in heaven or hell, No saints, no sinners, no devil as well, No pearly gates, no thorny crown,
You're always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown, Those lost at sea and never found, And it's the same the whole world 'round.
The hurt I see helps to compound, The Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Is just somebody's unholy hoax

And if you're up there you'll perceive, That my heart's here upon my sleeve, If there's one thing I don't believe in

It's you, Dear God'