Monday, 22 September 2014

Humans Are Pig And Chimp Hybrids

Monkey great sage equal of Heaven fucked Pigsy right in the sty.

Dr Eugene McCarthy should really up his standards for dating weemen. He came out and suggested that a chimpanzee mated with a pig and that is how humans were made.

Chimps and pigs are our closest living evolutionary relatives and both share 98% of their DNA with us, it's a no brainer, we must have come from them.

Does having a degree really mean you can call yerself Doctor? 

Dr McCarthy says that the original pig-chimp hook up was probably followed by several generations of 'backcrossing', where the offspring of that pairing lived among chimps and mated with them becoming more like chimps and less like pigs with every new generation.  Much like how inbreeding in Loyalist housing estates gets rid of their Fenian like chins. The Royal family don't have chins so why should we?

 I can totally see our pig like qualities .... bacon rocks!

Hairless skin, a thick layer of subcutaneous fat, light-coloured eyes, protruding noses and heavy eyelashes and compatible internal organs .... but that's enough about yer Ma. 

Chimps and pigs went their separate way around 80 million years ago and scientists (who had more than a PhD in pig fucking) have said that their sperm and eggs wouldn't recognize each other in order to mate. 

If you believe all that evolution rubbish then you think that we evolved from the sea, became little mammals, then bigger mammals, some when into the trees and some went into politics etc etc you'd know that we are just animals like pigs and monkeys are, the only difference is that we have higher reasoning skills and say idiot shit like 'I think therefore I am' and 'Saddam has weapons of mass destruction' because we evolved to adapt.

 Nope, I don't see any resemblance.

Shit! now I've gone racist, that sure escalated quickly.

Sure we are related to pigs and chimps but our own DNA does not lean towards either of them to suggest we came from them, Dr McCarthy needs to lay off the acid or something. No doubt saying crazy shit to get published or something and there are many out there (Fox news viewers) who will believe anything.

Two million illegal aliens in our country are followers of ISIL leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and have been infected with Ebola and explosives ..... more at eleven. 

Can't fuck to save it's own species from extinction but look how cute it is on the play equipment. If all you ate was bamboo and had no privacy would you want to continue on living?

We also like to see human characteristics in animals and dress up little foo foo dogs as people in a subconscious way to show contempt and dominance over the once noble wolf. Just because we can wear pastel coloured polo shirts and communicate in more than just barks or grunts (well some of us can) it doesn't make us the best animal ever.

 Banana envy anyone? 

Bananas share 50% of our DNA, does that mean that we mated with that elongated fruit too? Well I bet that some of you have ya durty hallions.   

This idea of pig and monkey fucking maybe very arousing but it's totally shite and the History channel might feature it if they weren't too busy doing things like 'True stories in the Bible' kinda shite.  Who needs proof when you have air time to fill? Fuck real history based on evidence, lets pretend the Bible is true.
Baker street is a real street in London, doesn't mean that Sherlock Holmes is real. 


Now for real science. Humans are alien experiments with DNA taken from other animals and tweaked with. They wanted a hairless intelligent breed to work as their slaves and we are the rejects left behind to figure out who we are.

If you want proof then I have it, of course I can't show you it as they are still watching us and might kill us as they did Joan Rivers ...... who knew too much.

I'm glad we had this talk as too many people will believe any ol shite but Old Knudsen is here to steer you to the right *fact related* opinions.   

*Very distantly related*



Heff said...

Can't say that I haven't fucked a pig or two mydamnself....

Old Knudsen said...

Let he who hasn't dare to judge.