How To Make The Most Out Of White Privilege

Old Knudsen is white ... I'd say Caucasian but that reminds me of cock which due to a genetic fault makes me giggle so I never say I'm Cauc :::sniggers::: nope I can't do it. Which is the title of yer sex tape ...KA-Chow!

Old Knudsen is also a male, ask yer mom. Around 10,000 BC white people said, "fuck it's hot here in Africa I'm off to Europe to mate with Neanderthals cos I likes em hairy"  and so rode their Velociraptors north and invented civilization. Nature can be cruel at times and so weemen retained the smaller Neanderthal brain while males had big fuck off brains full of smart shit an stuff.

One of the many reasons why white males are so awesome. You give a male child a stick and before long they are using it as a gun, whacking fences and trees with it or sharpening it to a point on the concrete. That's the survival A-Type personality kicking in that helped us survive. A stands for AWESOME of course.

  Pity his wife wasn't so understanding about these blurred lines

White males have privilege, you don't hear about brown or black privilege cos we whites rock! Weemen can benefit from our privilege too like a Remora fish.  

We grab ass, we grab pussy, when you are a white male they'll let you grab anything. Old Knudsen does his old man act. I got up to a young lady and ask her if she knows who my favorite magician is, they usually can't guess so I say David Blaine and grab their arse and we all awkwardly giggle, it's great.  It's all a part of my charm, if they are uppity I tell them I'm old and easily confused by modern day etiquette.

Biden crosses the line and they love it. Look at her body language, totally relaxed 

Thomas Jefferson used to do it and if it's fine for one of the founding fathers then it should be fine for the founder of myDeets .... a social media platform that didn't really take off as people accused me of selling their details. It was a set up!

Luckily thanks to 50 shades of Grey going mainstream weemen are now allowing us men to get adventurous in the torture dungeon bedroom. Be careful never to go too far though, I always tell my lady friends the safety word right before I gag em.

You can call Old Knudsen a feminist if you want as long as me dinner is on the table at 6pm.

Some Libby McLibtardface might be offended that I dare even mention how superior white males are. They might use words like racist, sexist, misogynist or thundercunt. I only date weemen to groom them .... for the glass ceiling obviously. 

We need more weemen in jobs like teachers, nurses, veterinarians and strippers and Old Knudsen is telling young hot chicks to reach for that goal like it's a dish cloth or iron. Someday the werld will be enlightened enough to thank me. 

     

Check out the great value. White privilege gets you the special menu. In every restaurant or fast food outlet the managers all know of the special menu that only us white people get to order from. When Old Knudsen goes to a McDonald's he can get a McRib at any time. Breakfast menu? Get the manager they'll know. 

For a limited time only ... not for us. 

  

Guess what little boy won't grow up with a life of inner city crime and poverty ... ach c'mon how is that racist? There only is one race, go be offended somewhere else. 

Has Old Knudsen crossed the line yet? Well for us white people the line is more of a guideline. 

Before you ask, some very fine people on all sides have asked Old Knudsen to run for president but Old Knudsen doesn't do running which is why he and the military had to part ways. 

I told him he'd shot his eye out, no trigger discipline he got triggered  

When us white people aren't eating kale, dancing badly and being all round douchebags we like to shoot people. 

In the US white males are the top group for mass shootings WE ROCK! ... #1!!!!

When Old Knudsen bought his rifle the man behind the counter was unsure. A bolt action rifle that only holds 10 bullets???? .... sounds gay. 

After a few homophobic slurs and jokes I assured him that I took no pleasure what so ever from sucking cock for beer money. 

I told him my rifle was .303 caliber and could easily tear through a couple of innocent by-standers, of course we both laughed and chanted USA USA! ... like you do. 

We whiteys can sexually harass weemen and become president ... as long as we aren't creepy about it eh Mr Hairy Wankstain? The police don't assume we are criminals which is why you should only shoplift when ethnics are in the shop as a distraction.
Kill someone in a hit and run or car crash, if you have a good reason like you were distracted by a cat video on yer phone or posting to Twitter you'll get away with it eh Bruce Caitlyn Jenner, Laura Bush, Ted Kennedy, Howard Hughes and John Huston? ... what fucken stop sign the crab had a knife it was hilarious. 
If we shoot up a school, church, concert we could shout "Alan Arkin!" while wrapped in an ISIS flag and it still won't be called terrorism* and we'll get a polite letter telling us to surrender to the authorities. Most shooters that kill themselves only do so when they doubt their white privilege. 

The only downside to being white is that you can't rub it in the face of poor unfortunate non-whites, they really do get upset that they are not white going by the reaction I get wearing my white pride t-shirt.

So yes we must give the appearance of modesty and forego our righteous smugness but we know, oh yeah.




Disclaimer:  All views on this blog are satirical, unless it's about Jews and lemurs. Do not try anything from this blog in front of children and or recording devices.

* Killing sprees are only terrorism when deemed so by authorities and when the motive is political or ideology based. If you don't agree with that and want to call every nut-job a terrorist then you are dumb and are the type of person that calls drink and drug addiction an illness, get over it snowflake.   

  

Welcome To The Trump Wreck

Trump owns the name Central Park, as in the one in New York. You have to pay him to use the name. He has also bought and renamed the term Train Wreck because it's obviously about him. It's now called Trump Wreck.
This is the man who thinks he is smart by losing sooo much in bad business deals that he qualifies to not have to pay Federal taxes for 18 years. If he was smart he wouldn't have lost $916 mil in the first place. His accountant was smart, not him.

How can a person like this get so far in American politics? It's like electing yer old racist creepy uncle or something. "go talk to uncle Rudy" .... but mom he makes me sit on his lap.

Trump's biggest weakness is that he wasn't prepared for politics. His past has 10 times more baggage than most. Bad business deals, treating people like shit, 3 marriages/affairs, draft dodging and an elitist entitlement that thinks his money or the appearance of being rich can get him anything. He thinks he can say or do anything because he's Trump.

This guy invests in countries around the world rather than investing in the US. Whose best interests does he have in mind ... yours? Even his clothing line is made in foreign cuntries because foreigners work for less and those nations are grateful for the business and so don't charge too much in taxes. 

   He believes that normal laws just don't apply to him. 

Just before the first debate the Clinton campaign released an ad that had Trump's own words against women which were quite damning especially all in one place. Yes it was planned and yes we are being manipulated. It's called politics. 

Clinton understands that the public have a short attention span but a scandal even one that is old and rehashed can last for weeks and become water cooler talk. She wants to sway the undecided and make it difficult to justify voting for this arsehole. 

Like Old Knudsen has been saying it is her turn, you don't really have a choice. I also predicted that ISIS would feel loses just before the election and I just read how they've lost a quarter of their territories. The threat is still there to justify the war machine though as Americans love wars. 

Now surprisingly (no not really) a 10 year old recording has unsurfaced a week after the debate and closer to the election and it's anti-women too. I wonder what else the Clinton campaign have been sitting on.   

Trump is on a bus with TV presenter Billy Bush. They are talking about Trump's favourite topic himself. Trump is telling him how he heavily hit on a married woman and sometimes you just gotta grab a woman by the pussy. Luckily for us he had a microphone on.

Life isn't consensual Pornhub Mr Trump. There are lines and you have crossed them.  

He says that if you are famous you can do anything. Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris and Bill Cosby had the same idea.  

They see Arianne Zucker who is dressed to kill and go into macho drooling horn dog mode. Get a group of guys together and they decline into a sub-human species that only believes in fighting and fucking. 

They look at Zucker from the bus and go on about her legs and complain when someone stands in front of her blocking the view.     

 Trump's own family subconsciously guard their genitals when near him.

Zucker is the sexiest eye candy ornament for his TV appearance. Appear with beautiful women and you look like a successful virile male. It's basic optics. Like singers that just stand there and sing, you give them back up dancers to make them appear more interesting. 

    Even his wife crosses her legs away from him. 

Remember, 93% of communication is non-verbal. People tell you things without meaning to. In Trump's mind the only optics he believes in are being surrounded by beautiful successful people. 

When he lowers himself to talk to the public or when he visits schools you can tell he hates it. He is unsure and not at ease. He can't control the situation because he isn't good at pretending to be someone that cares. 

Getting off the bus with Billy Bush he makes sure to pop a Tic Tac in case he ends up kissing  Arianne Zucker .... see, he can be thoughtful. 

Bush and Trump still in macho mindset play their little game still and Bush uses peer pressure while under the gaze of the camera to make Zucker hug him and Trump. She has to or she'd appear rude right? 

While walking to the set Bush adjusts himself so that Zucker is in the middle. She isn't a person, she's just an ornament so she does what she is told. She's promoting sexy not women's rights.

Trump is just letting everything happen because he isn't in control. Bush then asks Zucker who would she chose between the two of them. I take it he means sex. Either way it's vastly inappropriate but to Trump and Bush who no doubt snorted a few lines on the bus it seems fine. 

Zucker is uncomfortable but she's a professional and is on camera so she becomes a diplomat. Rather than saying 'none of you two losers' she says the playful 'both' which delights Bush but he knows not to go any further with this, maybe he realises he went too far. 

Very quickly Bush says he has to leave and asks for Trump's mic before the tape ends. Very abrupt as if he had an oh shit moment like when you go to a Black Lives Matter protest and say 'you people need to disperse' ..... what do you mean, you people?             

Yes the Clinton campaign is manipulating us but it's for our own good. You can't vote Trump into the White House no matter how much you hate Hillary. 

Learn from the UK, the people did protest votes against Labour mostly because the Labour leader wasn't very good with people and looked goofy. They didn't vote or voted Green or Ukip and guess what? The abusive Tories won yet again, they had it handed to them. 

A fractured vote is divide and conquer. A protest vote or just not voting is really a vote for Trump. You can have yer morals and principles all you like but bad things happen when good people do nothing. Do you dislike Hillary so much that you'd rather be represented to the world by Trump?  ... if the answer is yes and you want to see the world burn to teach it a lesson then you are just as stupid as yer average Trump voter.    

58 Reasons Why We Love Mombod

When weemen get married or just have low self esteem they get fat, that's great! It means that their standards are lower and we men don't have to compete or face sexual rejection. 

It makes us feel better about ourselves .... We can eat 12 donuts and not get bitched at because she is eating a gallon of ice cream.

She won't complain about yer saggy man boobs because her boobs are around her waist too.

It's way more fun to cuddle with her , who the fuck wants a firm slim chick that has daylight between her thighs and perky gravity defying breasts?

She'll never body shame you because she'll be dealing with her own shame, especially when you look at the daylight between a young woman's thighs and say "dang" before you snap a sneaky pic.

She knows how to have fun. She's busy letting her self go, eating and drinking and having fun ... the same shit you've been doing for years.

You both aren't superficial, you can change being chubby if you wanted to but why bother ... what's the point?   

It's always a surprise when she gets naked. Don't blurt out WHAT THE FUCK! Just smile and go to yer wank bank in yer head.

You have something to hold onto, a lot of something. Mombods give you more to love. Also more to roll over into the recovery position when she has a heart attack.

You know what she'll look like in 20 years. Unless she catches you with the nanny.

You can talk about things other than diet and fitness, aye like hot cheerleaders, football and what ever happened to that slim gurl I met 30 years ago? .... oh you ate her. 

She fills out a dress nicely, there are plus sizes for a reason and it's a nice change from her wearing the same stained sweat pants.  

You don't judge each other, unless it's out of bitter resentment that you wasted yer best years on raising the ungrateful children of a total bastard.

You can have pizza together, cos no one eats salad because it tastes good, am I right?

Angry yet? This post is a reaction to dadbod and those points in the bold black are from an article on how it's ok that men can have dadbod because letting yourself go is fun and no one is going to fat shame you .... who does that sort of thing?

Leonardo DiCaprio has been a prime target for dadbod ... even though he isn't a dad. These articles are presented as light hearted because it's a man's world and men don't have feelings anyways. Men are just pussies who get a cold and get on like they are dying.

Man fact #83: Most men go into work ill because wasting a paid sick day is stupid, what if you just can't be arsed some Monday and it's a sunny day?

Who doesn't love their faults being the fat butt of a million jokes? This post is to obviously point out the hypocrisy used in society by the media and helped along by an apathetic public who only feel good about themselves when degrading another.

Like when a black man said nigger several times on TV to a white female news presenter because she used the term that Obama and others had used to describe the thuggish behaviour of black rioters in Baltimore ... what was the term? Oh that's right it was 'thugs.' 

He said, 'why don't you just call them niggers, they are not thugs, they are our children.'

Not my children, they were dangerous criminals and a word for that is thug. A news article (online) called the white presenter a "Cracker" and proceeded to point out all the subtle racism she was using ... aye it was a load of biased cack full of white man's burden... you know, the guilt that white people are required to feel because some other white people had slaves 200 years ago. 

Do black people or Native Americans have guilt because some of their ancestors had slaves? .... no, because it's a white man's world. Even the black US president is half white for fucks sake. 

If you can't say nigger (because of some code of color) then you shouldn't be allowed to say cracker. Who gives a fuck what color they were, they were thugs using a dead bloke as an excuse to loot a CVS, to also burn cars and to beat people up.      

Like most actors, Leo is probably a mass of insecurities but not about his dadbod because he could lose that in 2 weeks if he was to make a film. Also he's filthy rich and gets the hot chicks to rub oil onto his food baby while lounging on a beach or on his yacht so the joke is on you. Leo was too busy fucking a hot model to comment.

Dadbod is as sexist as the media going on about someone's post pregnancy beach bod, good for you, you don't have a real life and can work out and get someone else to look after yer kids, weemen in the real world should learn from yer example.

Having kids or being fat isn't a big deal, many people do it, why must we always find joky names to use as insults? Fat people are one of the few acceptable issues to shame people with because they are obviously lazy gluttons .... never mind that there is probably some mental health issue behind them being that way, depression and low self worth are common ones.
Hey lets joke about Robin Williams or all the ghey teens that killed themselves. Why are you a sadbod? just look on the bright side and everything will be hunky fucking dory you drama queen.

Mombod or Dadbod just isn't funny, might as well laugh at people for being old or having to wear glasses, ha ha specky 4 eyes.