The Amazons Know Where You Live

What I imagine to happen every time I order off Amazon.

Ever since my friend who had no living family died suddenly leaving his bank card to me I've been ordering a lot off Amazon. I don't know what a Hercules Jogvision DJ control is but I have one. If my wax is ever cold I can put it into my wax warmer and my collection of beers, wines and spirits is coming along nicely.   

I don't buy just any old shite .... well I do but I often look at the reviews to tell me about the product as pictures don't tell you that the metal looking surface is just cheap plastic or that it doesn't work. Things also look bigger in the pics.

This person loved expandable pocket pussy and beads of woe but is that a helpful product review or just a feeling?  Can you tighten up the pussy if you had a micro penis for instance?

Yes you can ask questions and hope someone with a bit more gumption can answer you but do I want my friend to be remembered as someone with a micro penis?

Thanks, is that a review? Of course I hit the 'no' button and I hope they are properly sanctioned for wasting my time. How does this tell me anything about the TensCare itouch Sure Pelvic Floor Exerciser? There should be a 'fuck you very much' button. I'd tell these people what I thought of them except Amazon reviews your comments before publishing them .... as if they don't trust us.

This was from Sharon but I blurred the name to protect her identity .... her stoopid identity. We don't want yer life story, use the thing and then write a review you idiot. 

She hasn't used it but gives it 3 stars .... it only arrived yesterday doesn't say anything except that it arrived the day before today and that you haven't slapped some lube on it and shoved it in yet. No, that was not helpful Sharon.

Like writing an incident report. Instead of saying, 'At around 7pm The dark haired man walked over to the man in the red shirt and started shouting about alien invasions before punching the man in the red shirt and running off.'

Might as well right, 'It was violent' or 'A quick altercation.'  

There are worse reviews though.

Reviews about music usually invoke the failed music critic in many. This long and rambling piece goes into the 'read more' territory .... no thank you.

A review on Mumford & Sons .... how about dull, shite banjo music usually found in commercials, Dawson's Creek and elevators. If you like music then don't buy this.



   

Old Knudsen Reviews Sense8

Sense8 from the makers of the Matrix. A TV show on Netflix which is cool for so many reasons. The basic story is 8 people who all find they are connected or linked telepathically. All born on the same day in different parts of the world. There has always been their kind on Earth but are they a mutation or the way that humans are supposed to be? If we were all linked we wouldn't be so quick to kill each other.

Each episode visits each character who has their own little story and they come to terms with seeing the strangers in their minds who they sort of know and yet don't. They are able to take advantage of each other's skills as they merge consciousness at random moments or during times of immense stress or need.     

 Daryl Hannah and Sayid from Lost are in it a tiny amount. Does he only play one kind of character? 

Left to right Will a Chicago cop, Nomi who used to be Michael, Sun who is part Jacki Chan, Capheus who drives a bus in Kenya, Wolfgang a German criminal, Kala a chick in India, Lito a macho movie star in Mexico and Riley a hot DJ chick from Iceland. 

It surprised me which I am not used to with TV shows. Freema Agyeman from Dr Who (the David Tennant years) had gone to the gym, used a fake American accent and was fucking the brains out of Nomi with a rainbow coloured strap on ..... Not something Game of thrones has done yet. 

Agyeman tosses said strap on to the floor with a thud and for a split second you can see fanny batter all over it. Watching the leezers kiss at every opportunity was kinda bleh, the ones I liked were.  

The male ghey couple. The macho movie star Lito who was in the closet while staring in action movies as a heart throb for the ladies. He and his boyfriend Hernando are found out by fag hag Daniela who has a dangerous stalker exboyfriend that thinks that Lito is the competition. 

I thought Lito was very well played by Miguel Ángel Silvestre a Spanish actor. He had to play a wide range of emotions and be different in each setting. He does comedy well too.

Wolfgang the German criminal was so so ... until he went out to exact revenge upon his crime boss uncle and cousin. So many movies has the bad guy getting away after a shoot out, Wolfgang instantly earned my respect when he went to the boot and pulled out an RPG ... German planning, ya gotta love it. 

 

Sometimes Sun would jump into the body of Capheus if he needed some extreme fighting skills or if they needed a liar then Lito the actor would appear. 

Other times they'd jump into all the bodies and share consciousness. Will to Lito, "Hey I know you" ... "Yes we had sex."   

Even with what I've written in this post there are many other surprises, it's an interesting show that visits all over the world with a finale in Iceland even though most characters never leave their home countries.  Will it have a second season? It is set up to either continue or not, a second season would have to be very well thought out. A show like this doesn't usually make it to season two but crap like Gotham or Two and a half men do. 

It's made by Andy and Lana Wachowski who made the Matrix movies and J. Michael Straczynski who achieved god status with the geeks when Babylon 5 was relevant helped to write it.

Beautiful Iceland .... not so beautiful when yer out in the cold though. 

The theme that runs through it is that you sometimes have to fight to be yourself as others and life in general often tries to restrict you and make you into something you don't want to be but feel duty bound to be it. 

Peace and happiness only comes when you say "enough" and be who you are, even if it puts your movie career in jeopardy or upsets your family.