Up The Bum No More Babies

 

 Bristol at her mom's house for ye olde home spun advice.

The Palin family are one of those families who are religious because it's convenient for them. Sure it makes them feel smug and superior to those not as religious and the stereotype of Bible, fleg and gun is simple and appeals to many lower class voters. Why are the poorest states Republican states when Republicans cut government aid programs when they can? I guess Republican voters just have shit for brains to put it politely. Bible, fleg, guns, queers and immigrants ... doesn't require much cognitive complexity.
 They like what they can hold and touch and hate others who are not them or topics that require abstract thought.

 American woman, stay away from me.

It's silly when people go on about disrespecting the flag but will turn a blind eye to children starving, if you love yer flag so much then why don't you marry it? .... someday maybe. Oh and if you've put the US flag as a filter over yer profile picture because millions of people have been turning their's rainbow in celebration of same sex vote in the US then yer just being a dick.
 

Old Knudsen is not into slut shaming, though he'll always make exceptions. Especially if they are assholes. Bristol Palin announced online that she was pregnant again. The former advocate for abstinence education is to give birth to her second child out of wedlock.

The first guy she was pregnant to Levi Johnston, stood by her long enough for Sarah Palin to lose the election as Vice President to John McCain and then he was off. She split from the second guy, Medal of Honor Recipient Dakota Meyer who she was to marry in May.

The former Marine sorta forgot that he had already married some bint.


Thats the thing with Marines, you gotta keep asking them shit, 'are you sure you aren't already married?' ..... 'did you wipe?' ..... 'are the police after you for any crimes?' They may be brave and very eager to rape, kill or kill and rape the enemy but they aren't that bright. Pat Robertson from the 700 club is a former Marine.     
 

Bristol wants no lectures and no sympathy, she referred to her pregnancy as "a huge disappointment" but soon turned that frown upside down and did what good Christian folk and hypocrites everywhere do best, brass it out. 


"So here are the things you should all get straight before you continue to mock me, judge me, and talk about me none of us are perfect. I made a mistake, but it's not the mistake all these giddy a--holes have loved to assume. This pregnancy was actually planned."

The wedding was actually planned too. Yes, you are only human and seem to only mention that when you fuck up. For the rest of the year yer God's chosen who can do no wrong ...... Just like Josh Duggar who gets automatically forgiven by God when he molests a child. 

The father hasn't been named but I think we know who it is ... thanks Obama! Bristol is an attractive young woman though I doubt she is very deep or interesting, her family are fucking nutters who behave like a really slack god bothering mafia family, no wonder blokes don't want to stick around.

Though if she keeps picking High School drop outs and exMarines she'll soon be on her way to the glorious title of 4X4 .... 4 children by 4 different blokes. I can't help but to judge cos my asshole feels just so giddy.

A proud American soldier with his fleg. 

Old Knudsen's advice to Bristol is to go army next time. The Navy aren't that into chicks, the Marines think that IQ is a Japanese poem and the Air force have higher standards. The army are smart enough to get themselves into trouble and have a low enough self esteem to consider Bristol an upgrade. 

Lets hope she picks a better name than Tripp for this one, Britney, Tad, Skip or Jon .... Jon Snow.   

Which White Trash Hoor Named Spears Is Pregnant Today?

Young dumb and full of cum, the two of them that is.

Jamie Lynn Spears the 16-year-old sister of former pop star Britney Spears is expecting a baby. The gurl is the star of the comedy series Zoey 101 , the show is set in a Californian boarding school for boys that has just recently started to accept gurls and hilarity ensues as does pregnancy it seems, its good to have siblings to look up too and follow in their footsteps, there has been rumours that Britney is again pregnant by some homeless guy she met on the beach one day.

The baby daddy for Jamie is her boyfriend 19 year-old Casey Aldridge.

In general I'm not for abortion but in this case I think it should be enforced. Aldridge is going to do the decent thing as he is a fine young man, he'll be releasing a sex tape in time for Christmas.

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent, a bloke can dangle a baby but it takes a man to be a dad.

Junior slut Spears is 12 weeks pregnant and told Celebrity magazine the news, she then went on to give her advice on premarital sex, no not technique she said that its better to wait, that advice coming from a pregnant 16 year old really means a lot. Are you with me on the forced abortion thing yet?

I've gone through a few pregnancies in my time and they are fucking gross. A true story, I was walking in the park with Cecilia my then wife who was 3 months pregnant and wasn't even showing yet, we met this gurl Jilly who had a thing for me as most weemen do.

We stopped and chatted and mentioned the pregnancy. Jilly who was ever so tactful looked Cecilia up and doon and said " I thought you were when I first saw you" Cecilia held her tongue and I permitted myself a good laugh only after we parted our ways.

Trust weemen to drag pregnancy out for nine months, I don't find pregnant weemen sexy at all I say look at the big belly on ya I'm off to look at some porn anyway I don't want to be sticking my lad in and scaring the baby and if I have sex with a pregnant woman that means I'm having sex with a child therefore I'd be a pedo.

Then theres the water breaking and you know that's going to happen at 4 am, if anyone is going to wet the bed its going to be me.

Too young and ghey to be my mates but you get the idea.

I'm not one to be doon the pub or outside the delivery room while my wife goes through the pains of labour, I'll bring my mates in and have a few beers while we wait for the wee fucker to pop out, don't worry its nothing my mates haven't seen pictures of before.

See? fucking gross, thats not mine its purple, I knew you and the artist formerly known as twat were at it.

Then doctor or midwife hacks through the perineum with a pair of scissors to get the baby out and the gloop and shit comes out along with the sprog, fucks sake I'm ready to lose my lunch by then, like I said fucking gross, thankfully God in his infinite wisdom has given man the attention span of a goldfish (see Marky for example) and we are ready for sex again as soon as we see those giant milk laden titties.

Weemen on the other hand don't forget and never let you live doon the pain and suffering they went through, yeah yeah I was in a Russian Gulag for 4 years don't talk to me about suffering, well ok I was one of the guards but Siberia can get fucking cold, thank fuck for Global warming I say.

Nowadays they don't even let you smoke yer celebratory cigars in the hospitals .

Former Disney child star with her son.

I don't know what the young gurls who become stars are about. Parties, rehab, getting knocked up, naked pictures and of course the obligatory eating disorders.

Men would stroke their thighs while watching the Olsen twins on TV and count doon the months until they reached 18 as if something magical was going to happen.

I'll tell you what happens, they go anorexic, chain smoke and get their brains fucked out in public instead of doing it in private as they have been doing for the last 3 years. Hilary Duff is also off the reservation, she was normal as a gurl, going on about body image and how important it is to look healthy and now shes an adult stick insect .

Lets hope Hanna Montana, Dora and Dakota Fanning learn from all of this, it used to be bad boys and now its train wreck gurls.

Charlotte Church Up The Duff.

Lets hope the baby gets her looks and chest.

Welsh singer Charlotte Church, announced that she is pregnant , we hope it was by her rugby star-boyfriend Gavin Henson. The 21 year old singing sensation who was once described as having the voice of an angel and the dirty mind of a porn star has sung for preez Clinton, ex Pope John Paul II and has performed at the 2002 Olympic Games in Salt Lake City, hosts her own show on British television. She was named GQ's Woman of the Year in 2005.

Clinton has issued a statement saying he did not have sex with that women and if you can't trust a Preez then can you trust? even though the ex pope has always refused to wear a condom the man is dead,the wrong kind of stiff. Charlotte and I are "just good friends" so get that out of yer heads . We here at Old Bitter Balls wish the couple and the little bastard all the best and hope the pair get married and mend their sinful ways.