Previously on Lost:
Stranded in Belfast because all airline flights are cancelled around Europe because of the evil Icelanders and their volcano .
You see Charlie we are all in comas on an alien spaceship and this reality is playing out on the ship's computer, the smoke monster was the sun reflecting off the volcanic ash from Iceland and only my body died because I am now a cyborg .
You like to blow shit up? well the volcano blew its ash money shot all over you. Look how hot I am baby, check out my new adult profile on Facebook, friend me good and hard go on poke me.
But what about the polar bear and why is Hurley still so fat?
Don't fuck with me you little obbit its destiny, fate or some such shite.
I knew you didn't know ya baldy cunt.
Dude I'm just big boned and I don't like sports unless there is fried chicken involved.
I don't see nae fuckin ash!
Ben and the others are out there causing the ash with their outside smoking.
No its not about the ash, the city wants something from us and won't let us go until we vote for the DUP. Just vote DUP for unity we'll get rid of the others and live in peace.
I spent my whole life trying to get approval from my father and doubting I could be the best I could be ................ held back by my own fear but now that I'm trapped in Belfast damn do I feel soooo superior.
Hey why is everyone so white and puffy? wanna touch my abs?
.
Monday, 19 April 2010
Lost .......... In Belfast
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Labels: lost
Friday, 27 March 2009
Bum Sex Friday
I'm no looking for a fatwa today, here is a fat wha the fuck? I don't have a post for today ....... well I actually wrote a ton of them then put them into drafts, you know me I'm never happy with my work so I just thought I'd chat and get to know a few of my readers, so anyone from Canada?
For fucks sake my IP blockers are shite.
I hope Donn doesn't mind me posting this picture of him suggestively licking the end of a handgun when he auditioned for broke back alleyway an Old Knudsen production. Well actually there wasn't any such film I just wanted to see what I could get Donn to do for the role. That lad is sure ambitious. Donn's blog has a habit of making me think and so my Monday post is inspired by him. Well I haven't written it yet but you know how it goes .............. he sure is lovely isn't he?
I've watched Lost from the beginning, it actually reminds me of when I was ship wrecked on an island once, not as nice as Hawaii where Lost is filmed. I had a load of others with me and we formed a type of government that worshiped a pig's head and we could only speak if we held the conch, yes it was quite similar to the Bush administration but instead of fucking up the island and my mates getting rich we fucked up the island and my mates became stew, no really Stew ate all my friends and would have got me too except me volleyball named Wilson crushed his skull with a rock while he slept, if you don't believe me ask me friend Ben.
You should not be reading this blog, you are too special to be doing that. You know you have a higher destiny just trust me for once and take off your top.
Battlestar Galactica has finished. I will miss the fine acting and amazing twists and turns the show took. What will I wank to on a friday night now? ok I do have the pictures of Donn.
Did you see the last episode? I don't want to spoil it if you haven't but I will anyway. For years and maybe even on this blog somewhere I've said about a spaceship called 'Heaven' landing on Earth and fucking the monkeys or at least genetically altering them with their own DNA, some tissue from a rib here and there but of course weemen were created first then they got it right and made men.
People called me mad, they called me a donkey raper, Old man Knudsen the flasher but oh no some cunt covers hot chicks in baby oil, says 'Frak' a lot and makes a badly lit TV show and before you know it Old Knudsen's story isn't his and now its cool. I had all this shit from Ray Bradbury but hey go ahead take my ideas and make a fortune Old Knudsen doesn't mind. Oh and fuck you Franklin and Edison, R-E-S-P-E-C-T for fucks sake.
"Have you heard the word of the Lard? its cunt"
Saddam Hussein has the same initials as Sherlock Holmes which leads me to believe he is still alive and living in ............................. Montreal. As the song goes, "I'm a dreamer Montreal" What old world charm that city has, some parts remind me more of France than France does, of course France is a shit hole.
The last time I was up in Montreal was 2001, I have family up in Canada, Toronto I believe but of course I wasn't going to go near them, young Jilly was shacking up with some Mexican lad and her mother Ruth my cousin on my mother's half sister's side wasn't too pleased. She was heavily into lipo suction but the fat just kept coming back, not very good for a law enforcer. She also had bad skin but a lovely gurl.
So anyway what was I saying? oh yeah I don't have a post today, sorry well no I'm not. I have Saturday and Sunday covered but today nope nothing.
What Saddam is saying in the picture is: "You .......... you are still dangerous, you can be my wingman anytime."
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Labels: canada, donn is lovely, lost, Pirate bumsex, saddam shit himself
Thursday, 6 September 2007
Wheres Fossett?

Steve Fossett is 'Lost' here he is on the island being attacked by a polar bear, zig zag man, don't you know they are attracted to ghey looking jump suits, I mean who isn't?
Adventurer Steve Fossett who has flown balloons, gliders, and powered aircraft and skippered the odd sailboat went missing when he took his private plane over the Nevada mountains, he had a radio and a mobile phone and 5 hours of fuel. Reports of strange lights, equipment failures and other missing aircraft over the last 64 years have has earned the area the nickname " The Nevada Rhombus."
Long time friend and adventurer in finance Richard Branson briefly glanced up from making money to say, "If Steve is dead its a sad lost to the world, if hes not then yay!."
Do you think I really care if some rich cunt who wants to fly about the place goes missing? it is funny, er I mean ironic setting 116 records in 5 sports, (76 still stand) including flying solo around the world in a balloon and he bites the big one on a pleasure flight, not that I'm saying hes dead but who says God doesn't have a sense of humour?
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Labels: lost, steve fossett
