Fat Soldiers

The US Army is too fat .... just look at this lard ass.

The US military is too fat to fight, the main offenders being in the army. It used to be that you could go into the military being a soft civilian and they would whip you into shape but now it's different. They might not even accept you if yer too unfit or if you can't reed or rite proper .... WTF? 19% of US troops have been found to be obese.

 A smug Marine mocking an army fatty.

When Old Knudsen joined his majesties military he was a skinny thing who was told to put on some weight ... make up yer fucking minds! Being the perfect soldier Old Knudsen continues to follow that order even today until otherwise directed by a superior .... Old Knudsen finding someone superior, just my wee joke. 

 

It isn't just the Americans who are fat, the South Africans too and even the British army have had 22,000 troops over the last 3 years that are over weight. The British have booted out 50 soldiers in the past decade the main offenders who fail the BTA or Battle fitness test have been the Royal Regiment of Scotland next worse is the Royal Highland Fusiliers and then the Black Watch... too many deep fried Mars bars and drinking sessions. 

 Getting a medal for losing 20 LBS.

Hold on a minute, you can't say this sort of shite. Fat people or to use the medical term lard arses get picked on by the media and the public more than say alcoholics, smokers and famous people who are sex offenders.  

Fatties are seen to be lazy or greedy with no self control. It's rich reading an article by a woman condemning fat people and that woman has always been skinny ... oh I had a slight belly roll after Christmas so who am I to talk? of course she had a shite and got rid of it. 

She said that protecting the feelings of fat people by calling them obese doesn't help them lose weight and so we shouldn't thread lightly with their feelings.  

A study was done showing that fat people also get worse customer service (especially in restaurants) than less fat people. 

Pointing out that people are fat doesn't help, hey was yer passport picture taken by a satellite ? Fat people can get rather touchy about their weight and why do you think that is? .... well because they are not happy with it either. So sorry you have to look at me like this as yer opinion really matters ... NOT! ach just fuck aff.

I read comments where people see a pic like this and complain she's fat ????? Some people are just too ghey and dumb for words.

I've been compiling a list of people you can't mock so I can be a nicer person, not just the obvious sick children or dead loved ones but you have low income black people who riot, Palestinians, disabled people in wheelchairs, Jews, retards, famous dead icons, those with depression and fat folk, sure gheys are on it too but how can you be so camp and not expect a harsh mocking?

Ok the list is really for soft targets (pardon the pun fat folk) my Ma has Alzheimer's and I'm pretty sure I've made fun of that or did I? who are you people anyway? Me Da is dead cos his heart was 3 sizes too small and me granddad got the throat cancer from smoking the cock too much .... or maybe it was cigarettes so shove yer misery upmanship  as I don't play that. Old Knudsen laughs in the face of misery and if you don't find humour in misery then yer um miserable I suppose.  

Drunks and junkies get a free pass by twats who say 'it's an illness' in that case then so is obesity. 

 

  

No it isn't an illness, it's a choice. It is however an indication that there is some other problem though and of course some of it is genetics. Some people will never be a smug skinny person who complains about not being able to put on weight or those who say, "I didn't know I was pregnant until I had the baby." 

No one forces to to drink, do drugs or eat 20 big fat tacos, you do that yerself but why do you need to? 

Low self esteem, you've been told yer worthless so many times that you believe it so what does it matter?

Unhappy with yer present life and see no way to change it ..... sure there are ways but you think you'll fail and it's easier to wallow in self pity and fuck all those around you, why should they be happy?

You just can feel motivated enough to start or to stick with dieting or exercise or even just changing some of yer negative habits it so why bother?

One harsh reality is that 'If you really want to change yerself then you will do it' Old Knudsen wants to be buff like a male ghey porn star and as well read as Jean Luc Picard .... but not enough to actually do it I suppose.

Most of these quick but harmful fixes like drugs, drink and food are instant gratification habits but because you keep doing them they will turn on you and fuck you up even more. It's as if God has a thing about people being happy.

Excessive drink, drugs and food will bring on physically health problems that someone yer age wouldn't normally have but it's the depression and fear that will own you, that is usually the motivation that drives these addictive habits, you also become addicted to thinking in these ways.

If you eat you'll feel better but that puts on weight so you hate what you see and so eat to feel better but that puts on weight so you etc etc etc. Feeding the loop while feeding yer face and then of course there are excuses, too fat to go to the gym cos yer too self conscious and have nothing that fits you anyways.

Some people with jobs that take up a lot of their time or that aren't at regular hours have to also battle the fast and easy junk food demon that give you the extra sugar you need so you can survive and poor sleep will also get you to eat more shit food but seriously folks, getting fat in the military?

 A not so smug US Marine.

Soldiers are still usually fitter than most civilians but they have to be fit enough to be able to die for their cuntry. The military is changing so why are they still hung up on getting out of breath every time you do a 10 mile forced march and shoot with full packs on? Why do they have to make everything so difficult?

Packs are too heavy anyways and climbing up into the back of army trucks is silly, just add on some ramps or steps for fucks sake. It's the 21st century so why run or march anywhere? Where are our flying cars and jetpacks?

Old Knudsen is only overweight because muscle weighs more than fat but if he has to go into battle he'd want a load of fatsos in front of him to catch all the bullets.      

  

Wind Turbines Ate My Hamster

 

You know what pisses Old Knudsen off? .... you fuck face! Oh and people who are against wind turbines.... just look at that spoiling the view.

 

 

You remind me of people who don't want the death penalty for pedos. "Well I have an undercooked opinion but just give a pedo a time out and they'll behave and I ask you, what is wrong with oil and gas as a source of fuel? Fracking is the future and no one can tell me otherwise." 

 

Arguments against wind turbines have been, they are ugly and spoil the view, they kill birds and bats and somehow cause cancer and other illnesses because they give off tachyon bursts or some other made up shite. 

Oh and not cost effective because you have to do maintaince on them and you never get something for nothing, the god of the winds will want a sacrifice... Not great arguments. 

 

I'd rather see wind turbines that rapper weemen. Not in my backyard.

Sure there was the story last week about the appearance of a rare bird on a Scottish island . The birdwatchers were standing there stroking their chubbies while this African swift flew about looking for coconuts and then flew smack into a turbine. 

Thats worth a chuckle, birds are fucking dumb and if this bird got blew off course and ended up in Scotland then the chances are the stupid fucker is gonna play chicken with a giant bird blender.

While wind turbines do kill birds yer cats kill 10 times more of them... wind turbines don't shit in yer garden cos hey next doors cat I cleared that wee bit of ground and put seeds down just so you could dig it up and shit in it... yer fucking welcome. 

Stupid fucking cats and their stoopid owners, yet if I go into their garden and shit on their pansies all hell breaks loose and not just from Old Knudsen's dripping arse. Over 1,000 birds a year run into the Washington Monument, why is no one calling for that to be ripped doon?

Old Knudsen remembers when windmills first appeared. People would say, "You can't build them here, they'll spoil the view and we won't be able to see the bloody Romans attacking." It's always something dumb. What about the claim that they killed angels?

It is true that God's war against the cities of Sodem and Gonorrhea was because an angel flew into the rotating blades of a windmill, 'We've got an angel down, I repeat an angel is down!' The angel had severe butt hurt and wasn't flying very straight .... there was nothing very straight about THAT angel.   

Yon windmill spoiled the crop, soured the milk and gave my pig anal warts .... well thats what happens when you no longer burn witches, you have to blame stuff on whatever is available. 

What about the bees? I'm sure wind turbines is causing their decline unlike shall we say pesticides and a lack of wild flowers ... aye it's a real mystery. 

When Old Knudsen sees a wind turbine he sees hope for the future that is not destroying the environment and if you don't place these turbines in bird flight corridors then that reduces deaths by half. 

You have people living under electric pylons and cables stretching across the country and no one gives a fuck but as soon as the wealthy landed gentry have to see the inner workings of progress it's oh no, the blades going round and round can make you insane you know.   

Most Britons Could Be Obese by 2050

I'm fat but ya still want a taste of me Fatty Arbuckle. Call me a fat fucker if ya want, I can diet but you'll still be ugly.

I think it will happen in the next 10 years as we are well catching up on America, the country that saved us from the Hun only to make us fat and apathetic. (no offense to the fat apathetic Yanks) and I'm a bit of a chubby chaser anyway.

It took 250 experts over two years to come to the conclusion that fast food and lack of exercise will make the British fat. Experts in what? I want to see their time sheets and see what the cunts have been doing for 2 years, did ya clock out for lunch? how many sick days did ya have? when I worked for Tillyman's fish and chip shop I never took one sick day in the whole seven years I worked there, not even when I had pubic lice or leprosy, people all insisted that I should go to a doctor but I said "no, doctors are for the weak."

60 percent of men, 50 percent of women and a quarter of children and young people would be obese by 2050. I take it the non-fat people will be the ones with the eating disorders who work in the entertainment industry.

The government has pledged to draw up new plans to combat bulging waistlines, obesity problems costs Britain 45 billion pounds a year in healthcare, instead of treating fat fuckers wire their gobs shut and sign them up for a gym or send them out to dig ditches, 100 years ago there were hardly any fat people, bring back the days of poor nutrition and hard work, just look at the films from then, no gangs of chavs and people walked faster, they weren't happy but oh they were grateful for what they got.

Well don't worry, the International Obesity TaskForce have promised to respond rapidly and decisively....... After lunch.

I may have packed on a few pounds over the weekend, water retention and I'm big boned, especially in me arse, I will not be attacked rapidly or decisively. I shall sue those fat experts, the task force and the government for discrimination against fat people, then I shall get lipo and a tummy tuck as a gym sounds like hard work and it smells.

What Are You Wearing?

"I'll take the trash out in a minute mom, I'm on the computer."