Death Happens

At the end of the game both the pawn and the king go into the same box. 

Death is the great equalizer, the older I get the more I hedge my bets with the afterlife. It's difficult to pick which fairy story is the correct one considering no one has come back to tells us. I often look to the sky and say, "Please dear gods just show me a sign"  then I get knocked doon by the number 42 bus on the way to Cockwood. 

"Was that a sign, can I have another just to be sure?"  

I've been seeing a lot of TV commercials very concerned with the debt you'll leave loved ones should you die, then there was yon fella in the mall with the free will with every life insurance bought. I don't like the idea of life insurance, too tempting for some. It should be called death assurance.

Then there was the crazy psychic who told me I was going to die and to get my affairs in order. I came clean about the possible STD's they may have caught and ended my affairs ... I'm not dead yet, just horny and lonely. 

I doubt my family will claim my body, if I die anywhere near them. I fully expect to be dumped by the side of the road. Don't waste money on a grave or cremation, let me join with the earth and be something for children to poke at with a stick on their way to school. Make sure you harvest my organs, I promise not to take over the host body. I really hope me eyes goes to someone with a hot wife ..... I do like to watch. 

Old Knudsen has died before, once for yer sins but after 3 days he came back, then when the planets had aligned which brought him back again and then in the future when his clone had his consciousness downloaded into it, and then when he was attacked by a rage infected ape in Tesco, ach Old Knudsen's life often seems as if Steven Moffat or Joss Whedon is writing it at times. Old Knudsen has died and cum back more times than Sam and Dean Winchester from Supernatural.  

Did Old Knudsen survive man flu or did he really die from it but just appears to be alive? 

   

 Wow Old Knudsen I totally believe you.

I would not be surprised if you didn't believe me, luckily you all know how honest I am and would never make up such things.   

When Orifice offered me the choice of pills to take either the blue one ... the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

Or the red one ... you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I'm offering is the truth. 

Well I don't do too well with choice, I freak out at Subway when they ask me what I want on me sub, we Brits are used to putting up with what we are given, choice is something that Yanks are into. I took both pills to be on the safe side a few green ones I had saved for special occasions. Now I know all about the rabbit's hole. Now I see that U are at the centre of truth.

The billionaire will die as will the hobo, both will probably shit themselves too. When Old Knudsen eventually rages against the dying of the light you know for sure he'll not go gentle into that good night. All the gods, angels and spirits will be on alert and there had better be a nice cuppa waiting. 

Do not grieve, for Old Knudsen will be on just another adventure but don't go messing with his stuff for who knows, he may return. What kind of god would create humans and have them spend 70 - 100 years experiencing, learning and maybe even growing as a person to just have all that thrown away? 

As Maya Angelou said "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." 

Will you feel more than just aroused when Old Knudsen dies? Never fear, when I gets my new body I'll no doubt blog about it. 

 

Jared Fogle Eats Fresh

Lets just get the younger girls in the picture. 

Jared Fogle the used to be fat pedophile is complaining about the unfair prison system. "I can't shower alone and everyone keeps telling me how they want a Jared Fogle sandwich then laughing, whatever that means and the other guys won't let me watch the Disney channel." 

Fogle's favourite show is Hannah Montana which he used to watch in re-runs all the time, he stopped listening to Miley Cyrus music when she got older as her early stuff had more feeling and depth and way less pubes.  

The still loyal Subway fan he suggests you eat Subway to promote a more healthy and balanced diet and to combat obesity so you'll have more energy chasing the kids around .... parents that is.  

Love Me Love My Service Dog

He got all his veteran type gear on for the camera.

Richard Hunter a 50 year-old US Army veteran suffers from severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and barely leaves his home. His life has been turned around when in July he got 'Buttlick' a service dog from the non-profit group Dogs4Warriors.

Well he didn't say the name of his wonderful dog so I added one.

His son and boyfriend also got dressed for the camera with panties on their heads.

Hunter hadn't taken his son out in over 10 years and decided to take him and his co-worker out to lunch at Subway in Paterson, New Jersey. Hunter adds that going to Subway isn't a big deal to most people but is a very difficult thing for him to do. 

When Hunter gets anxiety Buttlick will sense this with his super dog senses and nuzzle his hand to bring him back to the moment rather than dwelling in the past. 

What a heart breaking story and it gets worse.  As they entered the Subway the manager Mitul Ahmed who is a Moosalim, yelled at them to get out. 

 Death to the great Satan! 

Get that dog outta here, I don't care if it's a service dog I can refuse service or blow up anyone ... Takbir, you infidel scum! .... I may have juiced up the manager's reaction for effect.

Hunter who has PTSD and anxiety if you remember argued his case with the manager, then he phoned the restaurant owner who was just as uncaring about the situation. 

Hunter then contacted ABC news and a disability rights group about his case because he wants to raise awareness about service dogs. 

Calm and relaxed in front of the camera 

Hunter just wants an apology.  So far the restaurant has changed the service dog sign from service dogs welcome to just ask, we'll help. They have also been less than apologetic and the manager even denies having been there on the occasion and pretends to not be the manager. 

I don't know what the true story is but I do see some stereotypes at play here. The vet with his cap on (it's an American thing I guess) defined as being someone who served in the military during the 80's I guess, going by his age when the US was engaged in that war with .......????  It was the Marines sent into Lebanon and after Noriega, the army only get sent in anywhere after the Marines are used up.

The Muslim manager who hates dogs, as Muslims do apparently and of course they are allowed to lie to non-Muslims or some such shite. 

Most of these I'm a veteran stories usually have more to them like the vet who was told he couldn't make and sell furniture from his garage and the vet who like this case had a Service dog but the bus driver argued that it was a comfort dog as it misbehaved jumping up and down on the seats.

Yes, Hunter no doubt went to the classes at the V.A. for his anxiety and was awarded a dog but most veterans never see any action except on the telly. I don't like being played by these constant veteran and patriot stories from the US.