Old Knudsen's unbiased report of the Inauguration of Donald J Trump. A banshee was heard crying in the distance, all the crosses in the churches fell to the ground and the sky cried in mourning.
Reports around the cuntry say that thousands of delicate Bernie supporters died of severe melancholy and broken hearts.
The crowd didn't care, "stop crying and shut up" was what they shouted at the snowflake liberal sky.
Was she preaching or praying? No one really knew. All they knew was she went on and on. Trump stood there all self conscious wondering how ridiculous he looked with his eyes closed. Melania can't close her eyes, thanks to the Botox the poor lass can barely blink.
The Speaker of the House who was initially against Trump seemed to be the happiest person there.
Well not as happy as this guy or the Asian surrounded by white folk. Did he put white powder on his face?
Then that rapist guy from that TV show was made President.
He gave a long speech about how the government were crap and got rich and spent money all around the world while Americans got poorer but that was going to stop thanks to him and his super rich buddies.
He never once mentioned his foreign factories that took jobs away from lazy Americans or how he hires cheap immigrants if he can.
Obama and Bush had to sit there while Trump slagged them off by implying incompetence and corruption at all levels over decades.
He channeled Hitler when he said that God was on the side of the Americans and they were the chosen ones then he chanted America First! ... Not to be confused with the fascist group Britain First or when Theresa May says British First when she condemns immigrants.
Sane viewers must have wished for a turn coat like George Washington to save us from this tyrant but it never happened. All those military with guns and bayonets and none of them were even tempted.
Then there were yet more prayers. For a secular nation that separates religion and government as per the Constitution there was sure a lot of Gog bothering. Three preachers, no Muslim or Buddhist preachers though.
Some master race teenager with a horrible deep nasally voice sang the national anthem. Certainly no Beyoncé that's for sure.
The white people put their hands where they thought their hearts were and we found a black guy.
The crowd .... well one person loved the fuck out of the singing. Is that Taylor Swift there incognito?
We found another one of those darkie types just in time for the rich people to go inside out of the rain for some lunch after a hard days swearing in.
Trump gathered his klan around the table to discuss werld domination even though he had just said he was done with the werld and just wanted to build roads an shit and to increase the size of the military to deal with the border .... I'm assuming he means the Mexican one.
You could tell that lunch was on his mind though. Paul Ryan is saying, "can someone get some lobster in here?" .... he's a good toady.
Out in the hall people were looking at their phones in between pretending to be interested in old dudes talking to them.
Carson the Secretary of Housing and inner city gangs development is figuring out how to kill 12 people and make it look like natural causes so he can become President.
Michael Flynn, Trump's national security adviser was seated beside a special guest of honor.
It was a bit embarrassing when a homeless looking bag lady found her way in and started ranting at the guests. Turned out to be Kellyanne Conway. Get an oil treatment for that dead thing on yer head for fucks sake.
The only ethnic people at the luncheon were a former President, some military and some waiting staff. The room was almost as white as the crowd standing out in the rain.
Hillary looked rested, sexy and presidential as fuck. I wonder how many times someone said to her, "that should be you up there" I bet a lot.
Well if you sneered at Libtards comparing Trump to Hitler go and listen to some of his speeches about how God was on their side and Deutschland über alles. If you thought it sucked to be a minority in the US before then just wait.
Anyways I hope you enjoyed the Inauguration, I'm sure his second one in 4 years time will be just as entertaining.
