200 Year Old Tibetan Monk Is The Oldest Man Alive

Still in the perfect lotus position .... ish.  

A 200 year-old monk whose mummified body was found in Mongolia is not dead. According to Dr Barry Kerzin, a physician to Tibetan spiritual leader the Dalai Lama he says that the monk is not dead but rather in a deep state of meditation called tukdam and so should be in the Guinness book of world records as the oldest man alive.

"If the person is able to remain in this state for more than three weeks - which rarely happens - his body gradually shrinks, and in the end all that remains from the person is his hair, nails, and clothes. Usually in this case, people who live next to the monk see a rainbow that glows in the sky for several days. This means that he has found a 'rainbow body'. This is the highest state close to the state of Buddha."

Well ok then ..... stepping away. Their heart also stops beating and they may start to smell after a while but that's all a part of the meditation.
3 weeks is the usual time a human can last without food before you die  you go full tukdam but if you go 3 days without water you'll be fast tracked to tukdam eternal .... have fun being enlightened you smug, elitist cunt. 

"If the meditator can continue to stay in this meditative state, he can become a Buddha. Reaching such a high spiritual level,the meditator will also help others, and all the people around will feel a deep sense of joy." 

He also said that the lump he found behind the Dalai Lama's ear was nothing and that his cough should clear up in a week.There was me thinking my NHS doctor deserved the title 'Dr Death.'

The Dalai Lama got his job for having been reincarnated from the previous one , hey it's true, they did tests an shit so I suppose this monk may still be alive.  

The choosing of the Dalai Lama is the truest form of nepotism, it's not who you know it's if you know yerself.  

Compare these two poses, yep the undead monk totally nailed it.  I doubt he fell asleep and gave into the cold elements, did his eye just move? .... nah, didn't think so. He may bring happiness to everyone but I'd put a muzzle on him in case he wakes up in the night and wants some brains.

Jesus was also found in a mummified state, it seems he was put into a different crypt than first thought and so was waiting there for God to spring him but you know what God is like, didn't even bother his arse attending any school plays never mind his crucifixion and death .... deadbeat dad.

We know it's Jesus because of this picture thought to have been painted by John the Baptist   Methodist in 500 AD who went on a description as told by a guy who was quite old.  

Fenian Monk Cock Sucker

Lucky he had a Crucifix and not a Star of David......ouch!

Ashin Kovida a 24-year-old Buddhist monk, made his escape to Thailand with a false ID , dying his hair blonde and wearing a crucifix.
He was one of the organisers of the September marches in Myanmar and was wanted by the authorities.

Maybe Christians take this shit more seriously as Peter in the New Testament felt great shame when he denied knowing Jesus after the crucifixion.
Then again I always though that Christians were a bit thick with that turning the other cheek rubbish and if a man takes yer coat give him also yer cloak.
Fucking pussies, if someone hits you you hit them back, treat them as they treat you, eye for an eye which is also Christian, if someone takes yer coat and you can't get it back then you'll be needing yer cloak for the cold, won't you?

Then theres the Christians that are asked if they are Christian by Roman soldiers, if they answer yes they know they'll be thrown to the lions if they say no then its freedom, they smile and say "Yes we love the lord " stupid fuckers.

St Peter caught on to this and to ease his guilt he came up with confession and absolution of sin, well done that man, personal responsibility is for the weak and the Protestants if it suits them at the time.

Kovida held the safety of his own skin higher than his religious convictions, Buddha is probably very proud of him as it shows common sense, hes no doubt rubbing his fat belly and laughing at all the stupid mongs that God has over in Heaven. Reincarnation is the key, so you don't get stuck for an eternity with morons or Mormons, same thing really.