Noah's Flood Is Bound To Happen Again

 

Danny Healy-Rae is an Irish politician that isn't big on the lernin but knows everything ... he's Irish ya see.

On climate Change he said that 'only God above controlled the weather' so yon scientists that think they know everything because they have graphs an shit can go fuck. Who hasn't cried out to Thor to stop striking the anvil during a thunder and lightning storm?

Now he's citing historical fact. We had the Ice Age. We had Noah's Ark. We had all those stories. The facts are there and history proves it. 

There were some centuries when the country was very hot and warm and then there were different centuries with so much rain and cold. So, those are facts.

Service with a smile .... he must be serving an English person or a fag ... aye like he can tell the difference.  Stay on the path when the moon is full young stranger.

Well I'm happy enough with that. The pro-life, against same-sex marriage and same-sex adoption former bar man has made his case clear and simple.  I'd believe rather him than that smarmy Brain Brian Cox who looks like a boy band member that got old .
 

 Look at my graph, it took me hours to make this, no it's not about climate change it's my book sales. 

Yes the werld is getting warmer and Florida is going to be flooded but we in the UK are used to shitty weather so while summer has always been hit and miss as to whether we get sun and winters are becoming milder I can live with no Florida. Imagine that, CO2 levels rising, luckily we haven't chopped down 20% of the rain forest ..... ya know, those leafy things that absorb CO2. Sort out yer cardboard in yer bins and drive a smaller car if it makes you feel better .... or you could plant fucken trees. 

Recycle to save the environment, oh and to employ the people that make money from you sorting out yer trash.  

   

No one past the age of 5 should really believe that the Ark story is real or historical. The animals went in two by two but there were more than just two of each. God says get 2 of each animal then he says get 1-7 pairs of the clean animals. A clean animal is one that has a hoof cloven in two and chews the cud. Don't ask how the unique marsupials from those continents not yet discovered or that were flightless got to the Ark. 

His boat was 515ft long, as big as a WWI battleship. At that size it could hold 35 tons of animals. African elephants can weigh any where from 2-7 tons, not much room then for the rest of the animals with 2 of them as well as their smaller Indian counterparts.  Did they have polar and Grizzly bears?

You couldn't get the genetic variations that we see today from one pair or a handful of animals. The largest wooden ship built was 300ft, built in the 1900's. Wooden ships that size need iron strapping or they warp and they also constantly leak as the wood keeps shifting. There is a reason we shifted from wooden to steel ships.

So this bronze age farmer learned how to fell trees, season the wood for years and build a boat bigger than anything modern ship building experts could build. He also become an expert on animal husbandry too. God didn't have a help desk phone line he told him what to do (vaguely) and let him figure out that chimps fling poo and will go anywhere without tamper proof locks.

All that genetic variation crap is scientific bullshit, maybe Darwin was Satan. Animals on islands that separated from mainlands evolving differently. Or beetles on different sides of a mountain becoming different to survive their environment, sounds crazy, what's next, spaceships landing on the moon?      

The water: Do you remember learning something in school called the Water cycle? The water on this planet evaporates with the heat of the sun, turns into condensation and forms clouds, then cools doon and falls back to earth as precipitation. 

There is only a set amount of water on Earth, this water came to us from meteors back in the day which are frozen rocks. All the water in the world did not evaporate and rain for 40 days and nights, we know this because of the ice layers in Greenland and Antarctica that date back at least 40,000 years. They weren't under water or melted.

 At the very least, these would be everywhere.

If you froze the Earth's water it would rise about 50 feet,  Mount Everest is 30,000 feet for fucks sake. What would happen if the Earth was covered in 30,000 feet of new water? The Earth's crust would be destroyed. Remember that dirt is molecules and when wet they separate which is why we get sink holes.       

Throughout the myths of numerous cultures there are flood myths. These are usually sent by the gods. Christianity having helped itself to various bits of other religions is the best known because Christians put all the others to the sword to become the werld's largest religion of peace.
Many myths go back to back into prehistory but many are within the 5000 BC era that the flood is said to have happened.

Lets just ignore the various cultures around the werld that were thriving  during those times. Like the Chinese discovering how to use rice, the stones at Carnac, Stonehenge, Newgrange in Ireland, the great Pyramids, maize being cultivated in Mexico etc etc, so many cultures that didn't notice being wiped out by the flood as they made copper pins, bowls and learned how to farm.

 Calm yer tits.

Danny Healy-Rae says we have these stories. By saying that he just discounted them as stories, not fact. There is no historical evidence, nor does it makes sense scientifically or in any other way. Having religion means that you just have to believe, have faith, accept or be gullible if you please.

In Ireland the Lebor Gabála Érenn (The Book of the Taking of Ireland ) is a collection of stories and poems probably written in the 11th century when monks were spreading the good word .... when I say good I mean bollocks. Calling it the good word or the good book is the earliest form of spin and media manipulation there is.  Oh I'm telling you the gospel truth, I did not have sexually intercourse with that woman.... I did destroy her back doors though.
   

Either her ass was destroyed or she lost it in Vegas.

The book of Ireland says how we Irish (yes I'm Irish today) are descended from a bloke that sailed with a lass who was descended from Adam through the sons of Noah. Cessair was the daughter of one of Noah's sons. She set sail for Ireland just before the flood because hey who doesn't want to be Irish? (yeah the English, oh whatever) and Cessair married Fintan mac Bóchra ... obviously a young Middle Eastern man going by the name that she sailed with.

It's like Jesus citing tracing his family tree to King David yet he isn't even fucken related by blood to Joesph according to the story.  

It turned out Fintan was left alone with 50 weemen all yapping about him leaving the toilet seat up so fled to the shop for a pack of smokes. When the flood came he shape shifted into a salmon, hawk then eagle before becoming human again living for 5500 years. We say the flood happened 2361 BC, just before lunch which was quite inconvenient. Yes we were going to have boiled potato and cabbage with some corned beef duh!  

 An expert of body language I can tell that consent has been given without a werd being spoken. 

All Irish can shape shift, when Old Knudsen drinks an magic potion or 8 pints of it with some chasers he becomes a funny, witty young charming man that all nearby weemen want to be chatted up by.  He can also fight like fuck and will take on younger bigger men cos Old Knudsen has the magic .... and a bicycle chain he hides in his pocket.    

All you Irish out there don't be surprised when yer Ancestry DNA test comes back with Middle Eastern bits in it.... and bits of kipper too. 

Here's what happened. People make up these stories right? They always have done. They had to make their own entertainment back then and it's not like they had Snopes or Wikipedia for fucks sake.

Some one from the bronze age or further back probably didn't travel far. Boats along coasts were the easiest which is why all the main cities are coast accessible. Going inland there weren't any roads and it was tough going and you never knew who you'd meet, it was the most dangerous option.

 Floods in Louisiana, 13 dead but it happened during an election and the Olympics so who cares? 

A village gets flooded way back in the Bronze age one year and it ruins their bronze age carpets and crops. It's like a total bummer and they have to eat the family pet. Their whole world has been destroyed by a flood.

Well since me crops are mush and I ate me family I'm off to wander the earth and tell my story about how my world was flooded.

These fuckers didn't know about The Dadiwan culture in China, the Sesklo culture in Greece or whatever. No one was going to check their story, they believed in giants for fucks sake and shape shifting Middle eastern Irishmen. The Hopi had people floating around on reeds and the Spider Grandmother telling them that with great power cums great responsibility .... and don't trust whitey, or Spaniards.  

So you have Irish politicians citing Noah as a historical figure, the DUP believing the werld is only 6000 years old and yon Texan Republican Joe Barton saying that wind is a finite resource and all the wind turbines will use it up.

 Ginger pubes, yer reward if you read this far. 

These people rule us and say how things are to be done. It makes me sad that people don't question Climate Change and denounce anyone that asks a reasonable question like how warm is the Earth supposed to be? Maybe because Old Knudsen doesn't look at things from a human perspective and Climate Change is all about how it will effect us parasitic humans.

It also makes me sad that mythology is presented and believed to be facts. I've lived a long time and in that time governments, scientists and other humans have lied and gotten things wrong .... a lot. Also if in doubt shout "conspiracy" or just accept the lies rather than look foolish.

Question everything and be ready to change yer opinion if wrong. I've done it on numerous things ... I wasn't wrong I just had the wrong information BTW. If you can't change yer mind you can't change anything.