The USA has the largest prison population in the world, this is because ever since the Mayflower, dodgy as fuck fuckers have been attracted by the promise of freedom to persecute others in this vast cuntry from sea to shiny sea.
America had purple mountains and was empty except for thousands of savages so was very attractive to people that wanted things for free like socialists and criminals. Today's America has mostly done away with its socialists during the McCarthy executions of the 1950's but thanks to the Interwebs there has been a resurgence of people wanting healthcare and education for all ..... fucken scumbags.
According to "experts" American DNA is full of the criminal gene hence the large prison population. Also the US puts lead in the fluoride it puts into its water and government sprayed chemtrails to ensure that it stays number 1 with the prisons .... USA! USA!
A while back some brave patriots formed a militia and fucked up took over an Oregon wildlife sanctuary in a stand against the evil Federal government who wouldn't let them graze their cattle wherever they wanted or cut down whatever trees they wanted to either .... fuck you Federal government and yer non-free for all ways.
Ammon and Ryan Bundy the sons of the rancher and racist folk hero Cliven Bundy led the brave do or die no surrender stance against the evil empire.
After massive public support that sent the militia an endless supply of lube and dildos that could have had them last out indefinitely they were taken prisoner after a lot of tears and visits home cos they were home sick. One old dude got killed in the process but no one is going to remember his name. He didn't get smart, what a loser.
Shifty and bear Bundy.
Ryan Bundy who suffers from the side effects from over using Renuyu skin products has put in a complaint that his rights in prison are being abused. In the US you are innocent until proven guilty he has decided that from the version of the Constitution that he read that he still has rights. Yes he has the right to an attorney but he should also have the right to see his brother who is also in prison so they can get their stories straight and the right to bear arms, wear his freaky Mormon underwear and have access to Twitter and the like .... just as the Foundling fathers promised.
It's difficult for an innocent man like himself to be housed in a place full of criminals, especially if you aren't a looker. When Old Knudsen was doing time after being wrongly convicted of genocide a ciggie would cost a dick suck. Now poor ol Ryan is having to side suck just to look at gun pics on a prison warden's phone. Fucken inflation.
Back in WWII criminals were allowed guns and given access to shoot Nazis but times have changed. Ryan does have a holster and is currently making a Glock 17 out of Irish Spring soap but it isn't the same .... though does smell rather lovely.
Unknown to Ryan, Ammon is werking on an AR-15 out of fecal matter and toilet paper, due to prison restrictions he has had to make the magazine smaller and is only allowed semi-automatic. The rifle sling will be made from braided pubes ..... ach if only they had freedoms and could tweet their progress.
It's a shame and a disgrace that innocent criminals are treated like this. Jared Fogle the ex Subway guy wasn't allowed any underage gurls while he was serving 5 months of a 16 year sentence before being released early due to "over crowding".
Poor Jared put on a load of weight in prison and was also made unemployed by the uncaring sandwich franchise.
Ah if only the US was like Norway, they give their mass murderers Playstation 3's and first person shooter games and comfy chairs ..... probably from IKEA. Does Norway even have IKEA's? ... fuck you Norway.
Please send Ryan letters of support and plenty of chap stick to the Multnomah County Detention Center for innocent criminals. His only crime was being a patriot .... and for all the illegal things too but still.
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