The Good Old Days

You could try hanging but if you do it wrong it might take up to 20 minutes to die. 

Remember the time before camera phones and liberals? In those days you could compliment a woman on having nice tits, use the terms chinky and golly wog, smoke in hospitals and sell folk and no one would get offended but now all that is frowned upon. 

If I was at a bar and some bloke came over and complimented me on my tight buttocks and strong shoulders I'd be flattered. All this takes werk, hours or butt clenching to stop the leaking and 2 200 push ups a day.  If you don't use it you lose it .... that fear has me wanking at least 12 times a day. (on a slow day) What if I lost my cock? I'd disappoint weemen without even getting a happy ending.   

Maybe a shirt and some shoes might cheer you up. 

I mentioned before about getting fired being let go from yon suicide hotline and having my name blacklisted from other similar services. I can't even go door to door. I'm on my third appeal .... it's the principal of the thing. 

No one told me it was suicide prevention so I thought I was doing very well. I never had a repeat customer. What's wrong with asking, "have you tried to not be such a sad sack?"

A former job of cold calling people and asking if they wanted to change phone service providers wasn't for me. I liked to open with a story that involved dropped calls, famous people and having Jesus in yer life but my bosses told me to stop wasting time. 

Back in the day it was called charm but now it's wasting time. Having known a time before people tweeted their dumps and dumped every thought onto the Interwebs I miss those days. You only had to worry about peelers wearing a wire but now everyone has a recording device and racist or antisemitic rants on the bus gets you on Youtube. Ach I never wanted to drive a bus anyways. 

    Just because I refused to cuddle after sex and said her tea was crap.

Having battled depression most of my life I think I should be allowed to call suicide people pussies and tell them to pull up their boot straps and gurn up. Like how only black people can say nigger .... Unless yer Quentin Tarantino who seems to love that werd. 

What's his next movie, black trans gender Holocaust survivors? He needs to stop making movies with silly violence and forced dialogue. 

A 30 year age gap ... mind the gap.  

You know what's not acceptable either? Chatting up young (but legal) chicks. When they say I'd old enough to be their grandad I roll my eyes. James Bond doesn't get incest obsessed chicks, he raises an eye brow and they get wet. 

I'm willing to role play at being a grandad but it is a little creepy. Can I not be yer granddad's older but still able to perform friend that walks into yer room while pretending to be looking for the bathroom? Aye just let me piss into this vase you have then we'll we have sex ..... I don't see anything wrong with that.  

No wonder men like Donald Trump are becoming so successful. They want to be able to call a spade a spade .... or a darkie and who the fuck (besides Hispanics) is insulted by the term Wetback or Beaner? Trump knows what low brow voters want, reality shows and beauty pageants. Shit they can understand. 

Nigel Farage is another person that hates political correctness and wants to speak his mind. How come everyone that wants to speak their mind and are against PC tend to be a tad racist and misogynistic? .... I don't know, probably some form of manipulation from the Jews that run everything. 

It amuses me when people talk about leaving the EU. They go on about too many EU regulations. At one time it was about the thickness and quality of yellow rubber gloves that people (not Farage or Trump) would use to do the dishes with. In the UK we call them Marigolds the same way that a vacuum of any brand would get called a Hoover .... unless it's the vacuum of space which must be very tidy. 

The right wing neo Nazi racists people that speak their minds were disgusted that foreigners in Brussels wanted to regulate something that Brits are fond of (like baked beans and sausage rolls) and how dare those foreigners demand that Marigolds be of good quality and sturdy, we were outraged. 

They had never used them but it was the principle. Like white liberals being offended on behalf of black people. 

Brits love to whine so I suppose the foreigners where cheating them out of the chance to buy some rubber gloves that the finger rips the first time it's worn. It's like Americans pissed off at Obama for wanting them to have affordable healthcare. How dare you try to look after us, nanny state gone mad, wake up sheeple they want to take our rights. 

Regulate guns? What about our rights to get shot by our toddler? ... aye I don't see any drone regulation being done in fact even more nations have them now ..... thanks a lot Obama. 

Being a sexually confused straight white male I see nothing wrong with a bit of traditional values. If you didn't have support groups for rape and domestic violence then would there be any? Back in the day we didn't have so much mental health issues, you'd lock crazy people away, tell a depressed person to suck it up and have a drink and autism was created by a doctor working for big pharma who made millions on that Rain man movie. 

In the US they have buses that put out ramps for wheelchairs to get on the bus. They actually let their disabled people ride the bus, what the holy fuck? That shit doesn't happen in the UK, we're proud of our house bound disabled people and gimp free streets.   

 A real feminist gets her tits out. 

So when a protester gets pepper sprayed or a famous person is caught in a racist rant I smile and think about the good old days. When Kim Kardashian shows her ass and says she is a feminist I click save and think how easy it is to wank to feminists these days, Emmeline Pankhurst sure made knocking one out a real challenge.