First World Problems At The Palace

In 2005 the Queen of England, Elizabeth part II was having a wedding bash. She laid out a nice spread of twiglets, pretzels and nuts for her son Charlie as he was finaly marrying that ugly bit he was shagging, Camilla.  Nothing too good for Charlie boy. There was rumour of bite sized sausage rolls but that is still unconfirmed even after all these years.

Their was also cucumber sandwiches cut into triangles dipped in the blood of young runaways cos thats what toffs eat.

The police officers who were there for protection were no doubt bowled over by this lavish soirée and couldn't help themselves so they got stuck into the salted peanuts.

Luckily Prince Harry was out at the time and so his ginger nuts were safe. 

Thanks to the News of the World phone hacking trial we can now see the memo that an angry Queen sent the palace officers. The Queen does not like big durty peelers sucking on her salty nuts, fuck, does that annoy her ...... you had one job to do but instead went for the one thing the Queen really can't stand.
The Queen said in the memo to "keep their sticky fingers out" her first draft was more colourful and involved flaying and dismemberment.

Yes the officers would take a bullet for the Queen but they will also take her nuts .... and some silver ware.