Old Knudsen jets around the world constantly, he was just over in Iceland watching Tom Cruise battling aliens .......... no it was just a movie, the aliens were defeated years back when Old Knudsen blew up their secret base inside yon Icelandic volcano. Old Knudsen was as usual there as an adviser. Who else knows how to kick alien butt, Wil Smith?
"No no no Tommy boy quit with the intense stares it makes you look like you've forgotten yer glasses. No no no Tommy boy was that a comedy run? Run like a man no wonder people said you were ghey."
Not everyone can pull of the silver jumpsuit look but Tommy boy was rockin it. A hard working eager to please young man but I can't see him having a future in the moving picture industry.
When Old Knudsen heard that her majesty the Queen was to visit Northern Ireland he rushed back to his old stomping grounds.
Philip is deteriorating quickly due to becoming a zombie his only words are "nipples, pork, xylophone" and of course "brains."
Someone had to keep Lizzie company.
After a long day of shaking hands with former terrorists, and visiting the sights of Belfast her majesty was knackered. Its been a busy year for the 86 year-old.
Old Knudsen waited at the gates of his secret Belfast love palace and soon the black SUV pulled up. She extended a short stockinged leg and with the grace of a gazelle she hopped out of the vehicle.
Philip looked out from the back seat, blood dripping from his jowls he gave a happy wave and shouted, "Xylophone!" Still waving out the window as they sped off.
Old Knudsen looked into Lizzie's eyes as she gave a coy giggle, suddenly the heavens opened and the heaviest rain ever fell upon us. We held hands and hobbled at speed to the shelter of the cum bucket (the code name for this secret location) soon we where inside laughing like giddy school girls and shaking the rain off our arms.
Old Knudsen raised his eyebrow and said, "you'd better get out of those wet cloths yer majesty" with a mock look of disdain the Queen said, "And what do you propose one would wear Mr knudsen?"
Old Knudsen smiled that unforgettable smile he reserves for special occasions, "You could wear Old Knudsen's cock."
We embraced, dentures clashing in a mix of tongue and saliva. Cloths getting dragged and ripped off our bodies and soon all the cares of the day vanished replaced by passion and positions that would make a priest cringe.
After the 6 hour sex fest we lay on the damp bed and talked about our dreams. No you can't abdicate the throne for love we've talked about this before.
Soon it was time to go as the room smelled like Thai food and the Queen had her less strenuous duties to perform.
The security detachment escorted her back to her SUV giving Old Knudsen looks of disgust, ah they wish they were me, Old Knudsen gets that a lot.
Lizzie hid her tears as she climbed inside the vehicle and she was off , already fading like a half remembered dream...... until the next time.
