Friday 1 June 2012
Bottoms Up
So as Old Knudsen the 8th wonder of the werld was saying. The navy were in toon today. Old Knudsen has nothing against navy pukes its a lifestyle choice, not everyone could be army tough like Old Knudsen. Let them bum each other at the bottom of the sea and on yon foamy waves it beats working for a living.
It was like Sodomy and Gonorrhea but without yon angels to smite all round. Don't ask don't tell is over so they all want to tell. Its not ghey if we're underway and 110 men go out, 55 couples return.
All those tight bell bottomed troosers were too much for Old Knudsen, he does like yon bit of up the bum nae babies but in a manly, butch non mincing way. Remember navy boys, never leave your buddy's behind!
Old Knudsen decided to get away from all the semen and head to Troone to see my doctor.
Old Knudsen read this medical site on the Interweb says that Old Knudsen may have epilepsy but the thing is its only when Old Knudsen dances and its only in his left side ........ach you laymen and weemen don't have a clue.
Old Knudsen went off to the health clinic in Troone for a walk in appointment as he had nothing better to do. The NHS is free so why not use it? Oh and for those of you concerned about Old Knudsen from last week he does not have Yellow fever it was only nicotine staining.
So Old Knudsen was sitting there in all his greatness chatting away with anyone silly enough to sit near him and guess who walked in ......... can ya guess? is the above picture giving you a clue?
Yes Prince fcuking Phillip walked in, Old Knudsen shits you not. Nice cap BTW.
It is the Queen's jubilee weekend 60 years of not reigning but rather just being there ....... watching and waving.
The royals are always out and about during these occasions on Tuesday I saw yon chubby prince with the big teeth getting off the bus and I swear I saw the ghost of James I reflected in a shop windy just yesterday.
Prince Philly cums in looking vague he doesn't wait to get called up to the reception desk he just strolls on up. Then he gets told to just head on round WTF! Old Knudsen is feeling his epilepsy starting to reach his heart there may no be much time left for the auld fella having trouble breathing.
Old Knudsen did collapse and was seen right away, fcuk you ya royal goat diddler, away an feed off some young run aways or suck some stem cells out of a few wee babies. Preferential treatment indeed.
The nurses insisted that Prince Phillip was nowhere near the clinic but they would say that for security reasons an all.
It turns out that Old Knudsen is not epileptic and got it confused with alcoholic ...... easy to do when yer pished.
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