The sun was going doon as I rode into town on Friday. Bucktooth, Arizona one of the most rootin tootin environmentally friendly and non- polutin towns in the west.
I went to the livery stables and got Friday settled in for the night it was 20 % off on Tuesdays damn my luck to call me horse Friday.
I felt like I had been rode hard, rolled up wet and sat on by a fat chick so I headed towards the saloon. The sound of piano music and talking stopped as I walked in, everyone was staring at me I knew I should have wore trousers with me ass-less chaps, Callyfornian fashions don't hold with the zonies.
I walked up to the bar, why they put a bar uphill is beyond me. I excused myself for not having washed or properly wiped in 3 months but I needed a drink. Exhausted from my hill walk I growled at the barman, "Whiskey and leave the bottle" the gut rot they served was harsh but cheap just like me. "Hey honey do you want a date?" purred a clean smelling busty lass , "I'm no taking you out ta dinner and the movies away and fuck ya gold digging hoor" if I had wanted a date I would have asked, now I was dying for a shag as I had one in the chamber about to go off.
A voice from the end of the bar called over, " Are you the Killamory kid, famous blogger and gunslinger?" ach autograph hunters.
"Aye that would be me" I replied to the skinny dirty young man fingering his shooter, "Who would you like me to make it out to?" I asked as I pulled out a stack of head shots from a distance in high wind.
The young man laughed and said, "You killed my Pa and now yer gonna die" an odd name, you killed my .................. I looked up he drew his gun, not bad but could have done with more shading, he should have went for charcoal not pencil .
"You killed my pa and now yer gonna die, I'm yer father I left for a packet of smokes and got um captured by Injuns yeah that was it".
You killed my pa and now yer gonna die giggled and ran at me giving me a big hug knocking over my whiskey.
"Why you low doon" I pulled back and drew both my navy colts plugging You killed my pa and now yer gonna die full of new holes.
I looked round the room and saw shocked faces staring at me then someone called out, "this is too awful a crime quick get him another whiskey on me" soon everyone was back to old time partying.
Whiskey was a way of life back then and more precious than life or beans.
I stayed longer in Bucktooth than I had planned because Friday took a long weekend at the stables. I met two other sons, 'What the fuck are you looking at' and 'My nipple is sensitive' yes I do drink a lot, soon I was heading west again for a packet of smokes.
Monday, 19 October 2009
Old Knudsen Rides The Old West
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9 comments:
I love happy endings.
My security word sounds a new drug "raftopin"
I took Raftopin and had non-stop happy endings for 4 hours.
Ah yes -
"Dreckig, feige und gemein -
so muss ein echter Cowboy sein."
I'm imagining an Ennio Morricone soundtrack behind you each time you walk through the saloon doors.
Tough times, when a gun was a gun, and not somethin’ you stick in your arm; whiskey was a man’s drink, and hoors were ladies lookin’ for a man to take them out of the place, someone who could lend a hand in return for grace.
"I felt like I had been rode hard, rolled up wet and sat on by a fat chick"
I don't know what you're complaining about; you paid me good money to do that to you and I don't offer refunds so buck up and act the man.
I am getting a tad concerned about the current content, westerns, guns, future wars... are we feeling a little "angry"? Mayhaps you have been in the land of that amendment that allows folks to carry weapons of mass or at least one mass destruction too long?
What I was trying to say was I prefer the perverted sex to the violence...
Why do you hate the Lord Jesus Christ and all things and people that are good?
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