Join The Church Of Old Knudsen Or Burn, No Pressure

Old Knudsen has a church on the line, started on Facebook called the Church Of Old Knudsen and if you take the letters COOK it means I'm the cook that blends yer souls into the collective consciousness or adds you to the cosmic soup for flavour when yer bodies die. I shall be asking fer bank details soon enough.

Firstly if you are on Facebook and reading this why are you not my friend? current friends disregard.

Secondly if you are my friend on Facebook why aren't you in my church, do you want to end up trapped in Heaven or Hell? friends on Facebook in my church disregard.

Thirdly if you really are my friends can you give me personal references and alibis?

Fourthly there is no fourthly, fourthlies are four the weak.


I flew by personal gryocopter over the Atlantic channel to Killamory, there is a reason they call me 'The flying Orangeman' and I am also the reason for the whole when pigs fly expression, ach those funny wee Fenians.

I didn't want to go by plane due to passport restrictions/expiration and if they had one of them scanners that x-ray yer whole body and see yer parts, well Old Knudsen is very self conscious body wise and I may have put on a few extra pounds.

My head of the Killamory branch of my church is Dick Helms, a good man but a little slow due to almost drowning as a child, yeah we all know one don't we?


Old Knudsen got to his belief and donations centre only to be disgusted at what he saw.

The address was #2, is that implying its a big steaming #2, a turd? also the street is Bottoms end road named after Sir Charles Bottom the slightly famous dead person.

So its #2 Bottoms end, but hey the blue matches me jumper which is nice.

If you are ever in Killamory please cum into the glory hole, my friendly staff are willing to handle whatever yer needs are.

To see the smiles on people's faces as they leave is almost enough payment for me though donations are better, cum and leave us something big or small Gog loves them all.