Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Putin Is The Bogeyman


Trump is panicking about his failed healthcare bill, his son getting caught meeting with former Soviet spies and lying about it, Iran jailing a US citizen, not being able to control North Korea and looking weak also not to mention his historically low 36% approval rating.

He needs a win!

His civilian collateral damage in Syria is set to double the amount Obama did in his 2 years. 360 per month, no wonder he is thinking about closing the State Dept's war crimes office.  

He demands a win at any cost!

Trump sees treachery and failure all around him, he can only trust his sycophants feeding him praise instead of facts. The reign of Caligula must have been a little like this.

Putin is not panicking, he is denying whatever with a chuckle and a shrug. At the same time applying pressure on Trump to give back the Russian compounds on US soil that Obama seized. Something is gonna give.

'Please Donald, it makes our spying on you more difficult.'  

Trump seems to believe the word of Putin than he does his Secret Service or his Intel agencies because he doesn't like what they tell him. He publicly shames and belittles them ... not a good enemy to go making.  Disgruntled employees with top level clearance.  

He may very well justify giving the properties back as a sign of good faith, if he doesn't Putin may very well expel diplomats but that would only be symbolic as without a fully working State Dept (many jobs haven't been filled as Trump has been slack) the ambassadors are pretty useless anyways.

Trump has claimed to be a businessman. Who the fuck would match a mostly failed businessman with a top level Statesman? Trump can't read people which is how Saudi Arabia played him for a fool over Qatar.  


One thing that gets over looked by the west is The Chechen Republic. They don't have nukes but meatheaded tough guy Ramzan Kadyrov has said they have them and they would totally fuck up the US with them if they had to.

They wouldn't have made the nukes but Russia is nice like that, it gives weapons to allies so they can shoot down passenger planes with etc.

Putin understands that he can't go full Stalin (his hero) who outlawed homosexuality as that would look bad. The Chechen Republic has been targeting gays though. Putin did outlaw Jehovah's Witnesses though, Stalin hated them too.

The Chechen Republic is like a proxy Russia or even a test patch for Putin to see how the west reacts.

Like flybys or warships sailing too close, it's a form of probing. So far the west has been pretty apathetic about the gays in The Chechen Republic or the Jehovah's Witnesses in Russia. What can they do make up more sanctions?

Dadayev was the deputy commander of a battalion

Kadyrov had a team of Special ops troops kill Russian opposition leader Boris Nemtsov. Of course nothing can be traced back. Just like the hackers constantly attacking the infrastructure systems of the west at this very moment can't be traced back to Putin ... just private citizen patriots.

Patriots that just happened to be Chechen special forces and just happened to target Putin's only real opposition.
 
The journalists that have died or vanished during Putin's rule

Kadyrov is the wildcard Putin keeps close to his chest. For now he uses him on opposition politicians and journalists.
If he ever needed to use Kadyrov on the world stage with some event possibly nuclear he'd have plausible deniability and Kadyrov would see doing it as an honour, he's the ultimate goon, he's one of Putin's many monkeys and Putin being the ultimate organ grinder.

There was a very good reason why Obama and Hillary were so hard on Russia, if you believe their innocent victim ploy you will regret it.


Tuesday, 18 July 2017

Time for a Timelady

Space clothes go in the space hamper not on the space and time floor!

The BBC who still make sets out of cardboard and still do the crappy camera angles from the 70's have shown the world they could be modern by making the new Doctor Who a woman.

Not at all a novelty jump on the bandwagon success of Wonder Woman and a failed Presidential bid (when will the UK have a female PM?) it is about empowering women.


That thing Joss Whedon did 20 years ago that the world wasn't ready for. Oh and Old Knudsen loved Buffy so away an fuck if you think he's got a problem with female leads, he has a problem with a female Doctor Who. Next up a female James Bond.

These things got popular in the first place because ... oh fuck it.

You can't empower weemen, they like cock and cleaning up after men too much ... FACT!


Of course it was going to be some Brit that Old Knudsen hasn't heard of, he doesn't watch much crap British TV due to most of them lacking the quality that most US shows have. You can say more with one lingering camera shot than a page of bleh filler dialogue.

Old Knudsen does like Black Mirror, it's well made and intelligent like a modern Twilight zone. Jodie Whittaker was the cheating wife in the excellent episode The Entire History of You. That's the one Robert Downey jr wants to turn into a movie.

Of course I only found out she had been in something I had watched after Googling her thanks to Doctor Who. Broadchurch you ask me about? ... I say Yawnchurch. Just a load of other shows rehashed and re-booted into one.  


Doctor Who was originally supposed to be a children's show that would teach kids science and history. When companion Peri's outfits got shorter and tighter with boob bounce during running and obvious nipples poking through it started to look more like a low rent Baywatch.

Old Knudsen misses Peri.


Now it's a show for older virgins. To make up for the lack of sense, Steven Moffat made everyone speak fast like Sherlock. Luckily Moffat is going as he's really been half arsing the 50 projects he has on the go at once.

There was this episode with a Victorian army unit on Mars .... Sort of steampunk without the cool. One of the soldiers was black. Now Old Knudsen isn't racist ... much, but he does get annoyed when people take liberties with facts and make glaring mistakes.

A Victorian army unit would not have a black guy that they treated as an equal anymore than they would speak to a female Time Lord. Have you never watched Zulu?

The BBC tries for diversity after decades of being white and male but seriously bad casting just ruins everything.

The new Time Lady (isn't a Lord) will have a handbag that is bigger on the inside cos women pack those things with everything. There may be jelly babies but there'll definitely be tampons and pads ... it would be sexist to ignore that right?

Lets hope she has a bit more sense and packs a handgun. Less people would die per episode if the Doctor just wasted the villain.

Martha Jones who was a medical doctor had to pretend to be a servant in the early 1900's. 

Sarah Jane had a sonic lip stick, maybe number 13 will have a sonic vibrator or can opener so she can make the space and time dinner.

She'll need a male chaperone to play as her husband or most of Earth's history will be closed off to her. Hey I don't make the rules. I'm sure she'll raise her voice once and after that everyone will consider her an equal like they do with the current one.  

Or they'll declare her insane and lock her up like they did will uppity women back in the day.


Will they cover this or gloss over it? The modern day Doctor seems to be a figure of redemption trying not to turn to the darkside. It's the human companions that keep him grounded. Lets see them keep her grounded when she's on her space & time period. The TARDIS will tell her it only likes dudes so change again or get out.  

Now as a female there is the chance of a space and time baby ... I smell spin off! They should have had a spin off with the Doctor's daughter but the BBC tend to miss massive clues and only go for whatever everyone else is doing.

Dr Who hasn't been good for the last few years. I've watched it when bored but haven't enjoyed it. Who the fuck wants a Clara or Pearl action figure? Most bad guys are as scary as the ones on Scooby Doo for fucks sake.

I'll watch it with its overdue and calculated move but if it doesn't up the game with the writing I will drift away.



Monday, 17 July 2017

Bucket Of Deplorables


Old Knudsen can't go anywhere on Twitter without being called a Dem or a Libtard and getting asked why he hates America and having others demand that he defends the actions of Obama or Hillary from years ago.

I comment on current affairs only to have people say well what about crooked Hilary who gave Russians uranium or Obama who opened all the borders .... there is always some silly shite.


Thankfully many of these morons have put the word 'deplorable' in their name so we can tell they are mongs straight away. Is mong not acceptable? sorry snowflake I meant spaz. Hillary Clinton called half of Trump's supporters a basket of deplorables, I prefer bucket as in they must have climbed out of the abortion bucket.

This condemnation of these American voters is deplorable as it is probably way more than half .    

Deplorable means something deserving strong condemnation or is completely unacceptable. Something shameful, dishonorable, inexcusable ... you get the idea.


There isn't that thing in which young people have taken the word deplorable and turned it around. 'Hey dude that bike you have is totes deplorable' or 'I just had deplorable sex with your mom, the thing she does with her feet is beast.'

Young people are idiots. Nope deplorable means deplorable. These deplorable people should just get a cock and balls tattooed onto their foreheads and be done.

The master race for Trump!

Deplorables fall into my bully and poorly informed stubborn arsehole categories which as they would say 'triggers' me though there is no butthurt as I am not emotionally invested in their opinions. The fact that they are so dumb and possibly believe the crap they type offends me. I get frustrated that I can't stab them in the neck repeatedly. 

Sure I've met Liberals just as dumb and rabidly blinkered but I've met more good Liberals than I have bad ones. Keep me away from those women that demand equality but stop acting human once they talk to a white male ... they refuse to get your jokes and look for something to be offended about, they really bend my shite, such issues. Like hating all dogs cos one bit you. 

If the US has any self respect left this will be the President in 2020

Trump called Hillary a 'nasty woman' though it has been around longer than Trump. Janet Jackson used nasty in the sexual meaning much like how freaky is used.  Some Libtards have been calling themselves Nasty Women (including men)  and Samantha Bee has raised over a million dollars for Planned Parenthood by selling Nasty Women t-shirts. 

Unlike deplorable, nasty does have the meaning of something being excellent, good or even cool. 

 Your mom is nasty, her stench trench smells nasty but she gives a nasty diddy wank. 

More like a Nazi Woman .... such a damn waste.  

The Deplorables communicate online the same way their leader Trump does, as if the election is still on. They are stuck in a hateful time loop in which Obama and Hillary are still constantly in the news cycle. 
Perhaps the sites and news outlets they frequent keep them this way so when Old Knudsen is discussing Donald jr colluding with former Soviet spies and how it all happened during the DNC leaks which is more than mere coincidence they are ranting on about it being Obama's fault or why Hillary should be in jail for deleting e-mails. 

Lets ignore the 22 million emails the Bush admin deleted 2003 - 2005 but who cares about that cos um ... Hillary!

The Trump admin and his followers, cronies and employed family members have made their own problems. They and the Deplorables will never accept that and so continue to blame others for their ills.

Excuses get made for treason and whatever questionable things they get up to. When these Deplorables comment on Twitter you have to accept that they are coming from a damaged point of view, their moral compass has been gang raped in the prison shower.
They are still to be held accountable for their words but beating a dog for not reminding you to take yer pills gets boring after a while.

Harsh mockings and wit are wasted on the Deplorables but as long as Old Knudsen is entertaining himself then that's ok.

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

Never Forget 7/11


"On this day have we never owed so much to so few including sales tax forever in infamy orrible obbits" ~  Andrew Jackson


Tom Cruise Is The Next Doctor Who


It only just feels like we went through this, who is going to be the next James Bond Dr Who? There are many that want to spoil an already failing show by going the PC novelty route ignoring what made the 2005 re-boot popular in the first place.

A black Asian gender fluid a-sexual Australian has been what many have been calling for. Or we could just black up a white British actor and make them talk funny.  It's the BBC, anything goes.

Tom Cruise has been tipped as being the next Doctor. We've seen from movies like Far and Away  and The Waterboy that Cruise can do accents.   We've seen from War of the Worlds and The Mummy that his judgement in picking roles has been quite questionable so he might do it.

We caught up with him on the set of Mission Impossible 9: The Search For Spock.

"I always like to stretch my acting range and try something different so my Doctor would be the polar opposite to the one played by Peter Capaldi. People want explosions and to see the Doctor being thrown across the Tardis in slow motion. I see the Doctor being ex-Special Forces with a sonic blaster fighting for his family. I also want to put my stamp on him with an accent, I'm toying with making my Doctor Canadian."

Exciting stuff, I'm hoping for this to happen.  Cruise has been practicing time travel to get into the character deeper. 

 There has never been an orange Doctor

No one asked him but President Trump has said that he's considering the role.  

"I don't know what it is but everyone tells me I'd be great for it. I'd be the best Doctor Strange ever. When you are a Timelord the companions will let you do anything, kiss them, dry hump their leg and even grab em by the Cybermat!" 


Likely a dodgy looking not well known and not US friendly/acceptable Brit will get chosen. With 
Steven Moffat racing Capaldi to leave the sinking ship maybe we'll get a good Doctor this time. One that can act and gets good scripts instead of relying on speaking fast and a companion that nobody really cares about.
  

Yet again just like the last time Old Knudsen backs Damien Molony. There has never been an Irish Doctor ... wouldn't that piss off the DUP? He can do an English accent if Irish is too controversial.  

Molony is a good looking lad that can certainly act, his vampire Hal in Almost Human was awesome and fun to watch. Much better than that Poldork bloke with the hair. Molony could easily charm the US too. 

Dr Who writer Toby Whithouse has joined Old Knudsen in choosing Molony, lets make it happen cos the show is in sore need something interesting though not explosions and Tom Cruise.  

Monday, 10 July 2017

The G-20 In Pictures

The very first G-20 back when it was only a G-14, they grow up so fast. 

This post is for my readers that don't reed two good. While Old Knudsen hates the poorly educated he is werking on being a more tolerant person. Even morons need to know what is going on in the werld as Fox News doesn't tell you half of it. Here is a post on the G-20 meeting in Hamburg otherwise known as Awkward Fest 2017. 

  
The Democrats spared no expense and flew in thousands of paid protesters to disrupt the meeting. You lost, get over it snowflakes! 


Angela Merkel the sexiest thing that has cum out of Germany since Eva Braun fended off the EU and wondered if Juncker stuck his tongue down slutty May's throat too. Does she get tongue after Brexit? 


She had to talk to President Trump as she was the host. Trump has German ancestry and is fluent in ... no languages actually not even English. Never trust a US president that can't claim direct Irish ancestry. Even Obama made the effort there for fucks sake. 


Merkel who can also speak Russian and English forgets how to speak English when Trump talks to her. 


Putin can speak German but the only English he knows is 'please, no more, I'll tell you everything' and 'my daughter has a banging hot body, it's tremendous'


There were other leaders people at the summit but we only know the main ones and the hot ones like JT and Macron.  


Trump got to meet some old friends like Xi the king of China. 


And again. Maybe Xi has a twin brother???? 


And again. Seriously though they should have name tags or something. 


But everyone wanted to see the will they or won't they moment. If yer a fan of the X-Files then you'll know how important the tease is, as soon as they do it though who cares huh? 

Trump was overly gushy probably nerves and the fact he is intimidated by the much smaller Putin who is a stone cold killa .... no literally he's a killer. Trump congratulated Putin on his election win which is to take place in 2018. I hear it'll be a great voter turnout.  

Trump touched Putin's arm and patted his back like counting coup but it wasn't in a confident way as a dominant Trump pulls the other person towards him and doesn't pat arms from below.

The first handshake was photobombed by that speccy EU cunt. Old Knudsen wasn't for Brexit before but since that speccy cunt spoiled the moment Old Knudsen has gone full Brexitard. 


Trump even styled his mullet special for the occasion. On the next handshake he made sure his handshake was underneath and subservient. Putin likes to be on top. 


They spoke for 2 hours with Putin's people taking notes and Trump having to be reminded by his staff about certain codes etc. The KGB can make you think you are having a polite conversation while they are actually doing some light interrogation.  


The line up for the group leader photo had Trump standing on the very end. As like when the President of Poland's wife shook hands with Melania while snubbing Donald, Marcon of France who is a confidant and compassionate male felt sorry for Trump's ego and moved from beside his bestie and new love Justin Trudeau to take the end slot.

As like in the traitorous war for Independence the bloody French cum to the rescue again. I pity anyone that needs the French.

At all the G-20's Obama has attended he was never that far away from the host nation. Trump was definitely put on the naughty step.


Trump had plenty of time to sit and think. How could he make them rue the day? Perhaps with trade tariffs and angry tweets like a real man would do. He could bomb some caves in Afghanistan again that got him hard before.


The foreign crap they serve for dinner had Trump on an extended visit to the toilet or as he said 'a meeting with the Indonesian leader' .... does Indonesia even have a leader? ... nobody knows.

He let the next just as qualified as he is person to stand in for him. The First Lady daughter/wife Ivanka the owner of a fashion brand who recently stated she had no interest in politics was an obvious choice.

As she says 'life never hands you things, you have to work for it' ... so wise and self-aware.


Like a president she sat on her own with no one talking to her and blamed Obama. She took the time to repeal all trade deals that Obama had set up with Poland, luckily she was only President for 20 minutes as her father's business all came out rapidly and only ass juice was dripping now. You can function with an ass juice drip but the tighty whities are gonna need bleached.

A staffer apologized to Poland and the trade deals are still on. She may have also nuked a country but couldn't remember which one. Is it Iran or Iraq that is the bad guy? .... who knows? Those European place names all sound the same to me.

A most successful summit, we aren't sure if anything was agreed upon though Trump has been tweeting how he wants to form a US/Russian cyber unit to prevent any future hacking. Trump has repeatedly said the US Intel community are shite and believes Russia more than he does them.

After numerous derogatory and very public remarks about the Intelligence community Old Knudsen wouldn't be surprised if some interesting info comes to light very soon.  Perhaps the file the FBI are bound to have on Trump dating back to his visits to Soviet Russia.

Trump may have a friend in Putin but sure knows that the rest of the world hates him. He'll be needing a ton of MAGA rallies to get his confidence back up after this.

Friday, 7 July 2017

Is Donald Trump Batman?


Ever since a tall caped crusader hit the streets to fight crime cos police are shite, we've wondered who he is. Crusader or Vigilante, Good or Evil, Chunky or Smooth? ... It's all a matter of perspective. 

To be that strong and agile you'd have to be a top athlete and to have such cool but expensive gadgets you'd have to be rich.

So we're looking for a wealthy male that plays sport ... perhaps tennis or golf as they are the only sports that could get you into that kind of shape. Bill Gates plays tennis but doesn't like confrontation. Richard Branson is a soft Brit and you couldn't mistake those teeth so who could it be? 

 Batman and Boy Wonder talking to Commissioner Gordon some years ago

We've seen how bravely Trump took on a CNN logo in a fight that was certainly not staged so he can obviously handle himself. According to some at the White House he handles himself all the time as his wife has her own bedroom and she doesn't like interruptions when her assistant Jake is rubbing her shoulders to get rid of her headaches.   

On Trump's Wiki page he says that his two main hates in life are bats, Mexicans and playing by the rules. 
His fear of bats comes from the time when one got caught in his hair and rather than mess up his hair it was killed and allowed to decay naturally. Having your hair messed with can be traumatic so the last ting you'd want to do is dress like a prat bat so that's him out of the running.  


If you look at Trump's time line on Twitter you'll see he's a fan of the dark knight. He even signed a bill (what another one?) for police not to arrest him and to provide assistance if there is running or fighting to be done. 

Dementia sufferers have trouble registering black & will often go around it, like a huge black limo.  

Could a 71 year-old obese man be crime fighter? His erratic behavior and classic symptoms of dementia makes people wonder 'what if Batman suffered from dementia?' ... everyone asks he this question all the time.

Ronald Reagan was allowed to carry on as President for years when it was clear he was ill. Excuses were made for his mistakes and he was given a free pass. 

Joker you are a smart cookie that Wonder Woman is weak. Sad!

The Batman of today has gotten noticeably older and wider. When interrogating the Joker he let slip about his secret Bat Cave and the raid he was going to do on the Penguin. He also insisted on being called Mr President. The Joker was really confused when Batman asked if he had seen the millions and millions of people at the Inauguration in January. Not a very routine kind of interrogation.

It was then that Boy Wonder popped his head round the door and told him him that Fox and Friends was starting and there was ice cream. He had to come now and quickly though or Super Steve would eat it and turn the TV over to watch Hitler on the History Channel. Batman yelled "To The Bat House!" and left. 

 
The next day Sean Spicer had a press briefing in which he stated that Batman was obviously joking  and that people needed to stop listening to words and the media needed to stop putting meaning to them especially when they are said in sentences. 

He added:

"Just because you read a sentence left to right doesn't mean everyone else does and that President Trump and Batman whoever he is think in the abstract so get off my case, no more questions!"  

Well it looks like Batman isn't Donald Trump then if Spicer said it. If Batman did have dementia then that would explain why the Batmobile (Batcell in the US) was left parked for 3 weeks until getting towed.

It might also explain the increasing amount of civilian deaths when Batman fires his grappling hook at them by accident and the hobo he shot dead on 5th Ave. Luckily the police can't arrest him under the Batman woops clause that was signed into law. 

Batman isn't the hero America needs, it's the hero it deserves ... yeah that'll fucken teach them. We might not know who he is but we'll rest easy knowing that banks, big businesses, The Trump family and their friends and for some reason golf courses are safe under his watchful shifting darting piggy like eye.  



Thursday, 6 July 2017

Corbyn To Be PM Any Day Now


Jeremy Corbyn took time away from dropping acid in the teepee in his garden to remind the British people that he still has a chance of becoming Prime Minister.

"Any day now Theresa May will just give in. The crying the u-turns the pressure will be too much for her and she'll give me the keys to Number 10 .... any day now."  

John his neighbour who is fed up with these outlandish claims keeps shouting over the fence, "you lost you hippy!"

Corbyn thinks that if he blames lots of things on the Tories they'll just give up and Labour being the biggest loser in the election will get power by default.  

Corbyn turned his attention to his garden fence and reminded his neighbour whom he calls a negative ninny that he didn't lose, he just didn't win with style which is totally a victory in his rose tinted mind. 


"Any day now, just you wait and see." Corbyn added before re-joining the drum circle.   


 

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

I Can't Take This World Seriously


Monalisa Perez 19, and her boyfriend Pedro Ruiz, 22 wanted to be famous YouTubers ... you gots to have yer dreams right?

It's all about content that's fresh, different and new. Or you can do the same old shit day in day out like Old Knudsen does on his blog. Stay tuned for my next post, 'Why Are People Such Stupid Cunts?'  


Remember when a wannabe rapper shot himself in the mouth? Kasper Tha Phantom used a small gun with a low velocity round which travels slower than a standard bullet. Mr Tha Phantom swallowed the bullet before being rushed to hospital. He wanted to use a different gun a 9 mil cos that's what rappers go on about but his friend said no, that's armor piercing.

No, guns are not armor piercing, you'd have to be the Hulk to achieve this with a very hard throw and you don't have to use an armor piercing round. I believe AP bullets for handguns have been banned since 1986 anyways so why waste one if you had it on some fool's ugly bake?

 You should shoot me, that would be cool

Pedro Ruiz came up with the idea that his girlfriend Monalisa Perez would shoot at him with a handgun while he held thick book in front of him.

Law enforcement agencies did consider the use of books instead of kevlar at one point so I see how he thought this could work. He also allegedly tried shooting a thick book at least once to test it.

If Mr Tha Phantom could do it then ..... Theodore Roosevelt had a thick boring speech mostly stop a bullet and in the movies a Bible or hip flask always stop bullets, it's fact! 

So the young couple with one brain cell between them set it up. Neighbors watched through the windows of their house and their 3 year-old daughter got to watch this fine example of young adulthood too.

So use a little caliber bullet, use a 9 mil perhaps.
 
No, what they went with was a 50 cal Desert Eagle. One of the most powerful handguns. I guess they couldn't get an even more powerful 50 cal Smith & Wesson revolver so they made do.

Why have a 50 Desert Eagle? You can kill someone just as dead with a 40 or 45 if stopping power made you hard.

You have a 50 cal Desert Eagle if you are a fucken poser. No military in the world issues these. They are over kill and obviously more expensive to shoot. You can stop a truck with one of these or just shoot through things like um ... thick books.

Testing a bullet proof vest in 1923

Perez who is pregnant with their second child fired from a foot away. I don't know how this was a good idea at all.

Adults that still have child like mentalities that can breed and own guns. She got out on $7,000 bail. I don't what will happen to the children you may see them on YouTube getting tattoos or something, maybe this notoriety will get her the 300,000 subscribers she yearned for.

The lesson of this story is if you are going chase your dreams don't aim so big.