Thursday, 3 September 2015

You Can't Hold Back The Tide So Don't Worry

Those fucking polar bears again 

NASA are jumping on the climate change band wagon and say they are "locked into at least 3 feet of sea level rise, and probably more" they weren't sure before but after consulting a calculator they decided 3 feet. The ice sheets are melting and the seas have already risen 3 inches since 1992. NASA scientist and ice expert (knows fuck all about the sea) Tom Wagner said that the seas could rise as much as 10 feet ..... fuck I'm panicking now, oh wait he added in a century or two .... nicely played sir fuck that, I might have finally died by then so do I care? 

Will someone in the year 2215 say, "look, Tom Wagner was right!"? ... like everything climate change will be old news by then because we'll have managed to build whole cities completely indoors that fucking hover over the rising sea. Who doesn't like astro turf better than real grass anyways? At least you wouldn't get ants.   

 A polar bear suspect being arrested, he's in for a real grilling.

Experts no longer believe that warm furry polar bears are causing the ice sheets to melt as their body temperature isn't that hot and have asked for a temporary cease to the eradication of these alleged global killers.  Lions still create greenhouse gases so shoot away.
NASA will talk about ice sheets that have no relevance to my life since I don't live in Greenland but they won't talk about the lights they saw from the International Space Station, cover up!  Ach don't worry about the sea level, not even God could wipe us out with a flood. I will miss cities like London and New York of course but I'll get over it, they'll be like Venice which is fucking lovely ....  besides from the smell of course, like a giant toilet. 

So NASA say the seas will rise to 3 foot sometime, here is Old Knudsen's answer to that. Build a 4 foot sea wall. Do I have to do all the thinking for you? 


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