Tuesday, 21 July 2015

Lewis Hamilton Is As Boring As Toothpaste

Lewis Hamilton is the reigning Formula One champion, is he good looking? I'm not sure, he isn't hideous but has that cocky smugness of youth. Did I say youth? He's 30 years-old, I thought he was like 24 or something the way he got on.

He wears designer clothes and dates singers, he's in with the in crowd. Old Knudsen finds most sports and definitely racing kinda dull. Close quarter combat, hotdog eating competitions and werd searches are the only honourable forms of competition .... Sudoku is for pedos, there I said it, someone had to.

Hamilton popped up on Old Knudsen's radar when he read an article (probably on the Daily fail Mail website) about a young couple who didn't recognize him and asked him to take a photo of them. He did so and they went on their way. The story said 'superstar Lewis Hamilton' and I thought how I wouldn't recognize him either.   

Then he won a race and squirted champagne bukkake style into the face of one of the pretty hostesses in Shanghai. I saw the video of it, the other hostesses smiled probably glad it wasn't them and the one getting squirted smiled awkwardly and you could tell she wasn't liking it. He got slammed for doing this and rightly so. 

He's a bloke and a wealthy winner and god's gift to weemen so he can do this sort of shit.   

Being half black means he can wear flat brimmed caps and look like a douche bag but if white people do it then they are on Rachel Dolezal territory.  

The lad is as boring as toothpaste, is that an expression? Well he is. He was one of 4 guests on a talk show I watched and he's soooooo boring. One guy mentioned how boring other drivers were but Lewis, he's a superstar. I waited for Hamilton to say something interesting but no, all he said was that he found one of the boring drivers to be a very funny guy, yeah that figures. 

He gets called a superstar because he has won some races and he wears the ghey stuff they wear in the south of England. It is well known that he and his teammates don't get along because he is a dick, he tries to justify it by saying he has to get more points so he can win so even his teammates are his competitors who he doesn't want to see winning.       

Recently he was invited to the Royal box at Wimbledon, he seemed to have ignored the dress casual and smart that it said on his invite. I would have said that would be slacks, jacket and shirt but the above picture is what Hamilton wore.

Prince William's burrito is coming back.  

It seems that Royal casual and smart means a suit and tie. Any normal person would have been worried enough to do a Google search on what everyone else wore.

Not Lewis Hamilton. He turns up with his flowery shirt, suede shoes with no socks and expects to get in. He is that self-entitled cos hey he's met Prince Harry a couple of times.

Hamilton refused the loan of a tie and jacket ..... well he didn't want to look silly, yes I should put a 'lol' after that.

Instead of going home and changing he just left, fuck you all, I'm Lewis Hamilton and tennis isn't a real sport.  

Old Knudsen does that half smile half grimace look when he thinks of Hamilton, like when the dog takes a dump when yer walking it and it isn't very solid but you have to lift it or at least as much of it as you can since half of it is stuck to the grass. 

Nah, yer not self centered, even William Shatner hasn't taken a topless selfie. 

The guy is a boring shallow dick who can't understand why people don't really like him for being a prick. They say how great he is and what a superstar he is but he knows they don't really like him as a person and he doesn't get it .   

Does he even care? Well the excess and celeb lifestyle means that he doesn't have to care because he's insulated from the real world. 

Hamilton gets his own post because people that Old Knudsen have disliked such as Woody Allen, Bill Cosby, Jimmy Savile, John Peel, Dave Lee Travis, Charlie and Martin Sheen and Ryan O'Neal all turn out to be assholes of some kind. 

I believe I dislike Tatum Channing because he always looks smug and because his name Tatum reminds me of Tatum O'Neal the daughter of  Ryan O'Neal who both starred in Paper Moon together which so fucking annoys me. So when Hamilton is up on rape charges, just remember that I didn't like him.     


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