Friday, 6 February 2015

200 Year Old Tibetan Monk Is The Oldest Man Alive

Still in the perfect lotus position .... ish.  

A 200 year-old monk whose mummified body was found in Mongolia is not dead. According to Dr Barry Kerzin, a physician to Tibetan spiritual leader the Dalai Lama he says that the monk is not dead but rather in a deep state of meditation called tukdam and so should be in the Guinness book of world records as the oldest man alive.

"If the person is able to remain in this state for more than three weeks - which rarely happens - his body gradually shrinks, and in the end all that remains from the person is his hair, nails, and clothes. Usually in this case, people who live next to the monk see a rainbow that glows in the sky for several days. This means that he has found a 'rainbow body'. This is the highest state close to the state of Buddha."

Well ok then ..... stepping away. Their heart also stops beating and they may start to smell after a while but that's all a part of the meditation.
3 weeks is the usual time a human can last without food before you die  you go full tukdam but if you go 3 days without water you'll be fast tracked to tukdam eternal .... have fun being enlightened you smug, elitist cunt. 

"If the meditator can continue to stay in this meditative state, he can become a Buddha. Reaching such a high spiritual level,the meditator will also help others, and all the people around will feel a deep sense of joy." 

He also said that the lump he found behind the Dalai Lama's ear was nothing and that his cough should clear up in a week.There was me thinking my NHS doctor deserved the title 'Dr Death.'

The Dalai Lama got his job for having been reincarnated from the previous one , hey it's true, they did tests an shit so I suppose this monk may still be alive.  

The choosing of the Dalai Lama is the truest form of nepotism, it's not who you know it's if you know yerself.  

Compare these two poses, yep the undead monk totally nailed it.  I doubt he fell asleep and gave into the cold elements, did his eye just move? .... nah, didn't think so. He may bring happiness to everyone but I'd put a muzzle on him in case he wakes up in the night and wants some brains.

Jesus was also found in a mummified state, it seems he was put into a different crypt than first thought and so was waiting there for God to spring him but you know what God is like, didn't even bother his arse attending any school plays never mind his crucifixion and death .... deadbeat dad.

We know it's Jesus because of this picture thought to have been painted by John the Baptist   Methodist in 500 AD who went on a description as told by a guy who was quite old.  

No comments: