Thursday, 14 November 2013

Cool Like Old Knudsen

So many e-mails asking Old Knudsen what he does during a normal day as well as many telling him hes won a load of money in a draw he didn't enter so give yer age, country and phone number .... ya know things that most draws want to know about. I've gone through me photo album for some pics to help describe mt day .... enjoy.

Old Knudsen usually wakes up each day with a beautiful and very satisfied woman beside him. If her legs still work I kick her out of bed to make a cup of tea, if her legs don't work then she crawls.

The quality of the tea decides on whether Old Knudsen will shag her again.

 Then I have to yet again tell a crowd of wee fuckers that I'm not their daddy. Fucking DNA testing has really fucked with my life.... harder to deny but deny I shall. 'Sorry yer honour but I'm a creationist and don't believe in science so yer DNA crap doesn't exist' I'm not really a creationist I'm using creative truth objectors, anyway no child support for yous, any pocket money on ya? 

I often have to discipline the hoosehold staff from time to time, it's for their own good.They never thank me for it.

I may go for a drive in my Empire class planet hopper and look for opportunities, ya know, weemen to ride, fun to be had or things that need appropriated. I very often give lifts to homeless people, then I kill them, dry them out and powder them. I made 4 mil last year selling powdered hobo to the Chinese, they'll try anything to make their cocks hard.

Old Knudsen does charity work at any hospital he can sneak into. Doctors today are shite, if they don't know whats wrong with you they say, "go home and have a cup of tea, you'll be fine" Old Knudsen is totally hands on and available 28 hours a day ... and night, also he promises to perform all operations drunk or sober to the best of his abilities or yer money back, hey the best doesn't cum cheap ya know.

He also provides psychiatric help and has the all time highest score on the suicide hotline. His door is always open, except when it's closed.

Sometimes he does a little light time travel, "hey Paul, did I tell ya about this gurl I shagged? well she was just 17 you know what I mean."

After being on Facebook for an hour I cyborg myself up and fight street thugs to get all my aggression out. :::thud:::: thats for taking yerself too seriously ::::thud::::: thats for just saying stupid things:::::: thud:::::: thats for those idiot memes with incorrect statements that some folk are bound to believe.::::thud::::: thats for the lies.::::::thud:::::: again with the stupid.
Why do I go onto Facebook? ....... fuck knows.

At some point in the day I have a rendezvous with one of my many fans, nothing beats pinning yer lady love to a tree for a bit of dry humping to get you in the mood for some outdoor dirty action. Ya can't walk about all day with a fully loaded man custard chucker, not shooting yer load was what killed Bruce Lee ..... true story bro.

Old Knudsen has lots of lady fans, for some reason weemen gush like a frothy cappuccino when they think of his strong manly hands cupping their bottoms as he slips his blistered tongue into their mouths in a passionate bonding of souls and a mingling of body fluids.

You deserve better than what you've had so far in this life and here I am.

To keep the bitches keen I do 450 push ups to get me muscles up and take a selfie .... this was when I served in the Tallyban ... but then Al-Qaeda got involved and came out with all these silly rules like no sharp edges on stones used for stoning to death and they had to be a certain weight and size. If wearing turbans and sandals they had to be Al-Qaeda brand.
The whole announcing death to the west on YouTube seemed a little hypocritical and then I found out that 'I' was an infidel .... I was devastated.

Like what you see? did I mention me huge ghey following? ... any port in a storm.

Robbing the local Mini Mart for fegs and beer usually happens around dinner time as me meds start to wear off.

Sometimes he must explain himself but how do you explain a force of nature?

Then it's out for a party hoping to meet some loverly young ladies. If yer wife or gurlfriend shouts out "OLD KNUDSEN!" during sex, take it as a compliment.

 The future is drones ..... lots of drones, and use yer Obamacare to microchip everyone.

That is more or less an Old Knudsen day. He may have left out a few things that may incriminate him and a blog post can't convey the horror and the screaming. Old Knudsen is just like everyone else, fucking hot chicks like Hilary and Iris then wiping his cock clean on the oval office curtains while telling Obama how to kill and spy on people ...... just normal stuff. 

It's funny looking at these pictures, I've changed so much over the years, a hard life will do that.

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