Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Watery Shit Happens


Last week in Northern Ireland a farmer died when he fell into a slurry tank and drown, what a shit way to die. For a farmer it might not be too bad as the last thing you smell, taste and see is the cuntry.

This latest death points to a larger problem.  A farmer was killed every month in 2011 while working on a farm in Northern Ireland.

So what are ya thinking? Over worked? poorly maintained farm equipment? angry cattlemen?   or ...........

Slurry monster!

Yes these deaths sound old, pagan and ritualistic. An ancient evil cum to life taking a sacrifice, a worker of the land.

How can we destroy it?  What? you can't go around killing evil creatures that have lived since the beginning of time what kind of cunt are ya?

As far as we know its a one of its kind on the brink of extinction, it needs to be protected. We need to make the farms its habitat as we would an endangered fly or owl.

Ya know what? farmers drive up roads on their tractors holding up traffic and givin dirty looks to all the townies, farmer's wives are also usually their sisters and they eat unwanted babies that are born to them .... so Old Knudsen has heard. 

Let the Slurry monster take its sacrifices as it can't be easy being a Slurry monster and it may also be quite lonely, ach poor fat thing with red glowing eyes and horrible claws that can cut ya open in seconds. Even Slurry monsters need love.