Monday, 11 June 2012

A Date With Destiny

Old Knudsen is the man! You all know that, if you don't then yer a fcuking cunt that needs to die by drowning in a vat donkey cum.
Anyway moving along. Old Knudsen has vast resources at his disposal, tons of money, weapons, Ben 10 action figures, people who owe him favours, various passports and a highly trained team of mercenaries ready to take doon the government of any cuntry with a certain word used on this blog, the team leader Kevin has a bad chest infection right now an Old Knudsen shout out heres hoping he gets better soon.

Being a mover and a shaker can make meeting weemen or even just hiring them a difficult thing to do. Old Knudsen has put up his profile on okcupid, ya know that site that keeps the ugly people and the more attractive people separate.

I like to cry then I cut myself then I cry a little more. I'm pansexual with a need to be dominated and hugged.

Old  Knudsen would of course be lumped with the attractive people that should go without saying.

My profile pic:

I was going for classy yet with a dangerous edge, they call me Mr Old Knudsen ....... or does it look like I'm a waiter stealing drinks?

Interests: Alpine gardening, loft insulation, bicycle puncture repair and fucking dirty weemen.

Dislikes:  Child support, paternity claims, children, cheese and haters.

What do people first notice about you?:  My greatness.

What is your idea for a perfect day?:  Stopping evil with the sword of justice and fucking dirty weemen.

What is your favourite season and why?:  Salt .......... because its salty.

Describe yourself:  Type-A perfectionist who has an unnatural fascination with tits and  Louis Vuitton accessories. I get irritated easily when people are stupid, a vile base brabbler, playboy of the western world and extremely supportive and caring also I fight like fuck.... oh and I may swear a little at times but only under stress.

What is the most important thing you look for in another person?:   Gullibility ...... and tits,can I say two things if they are both the most important?

Tell us something private about yourself:  The voices keep telling Old Knudsen to kill but he on the whole has been able to control those urges.

What kind of date do you enjoy?:  One I don't pay for and that ends with a post sex nice cuppa tae.

 Your biggest dream?  When I was being hunted in the jungles of Nam by an alien predator and me with only a paper clip as a weapon then me dick dropped off and I was late for a life changing college exam.

What is the most difficult/interesting/unusual thing you have ever done?: Killing all my friends on Facebook because they know too much, no wait I've still to do that. It shall be difficult, interesting and the ways they will die will be pretty unusual.

Are you a loner, party animal, bit of both?:   I like to party alone with an animal.

What is your defining characteristic? Optimism, courage, patience…?  Aye thats probably it. Is flatulence a defining characteristic?

What do your friends and family say about you?:  Probably what a kind and caring person Old Knudsen is, always loyal, dependable and the first to make a comfort cup of tae when someone dies.

What is your favorite type of food/color/movie/book?:  Bread is nice but none of that wheaty shite, the colour of pain, Fisting Firemen 6 the pole to Hell ...... Old Knudsen's favourite book is anything by that up and cumming writer Tim Stevens who wrote his debut novel 'Ratcatcher' based on Old Knudsen's experiences in the world of espionage , available on Amazon kindle. He may not write much more as he is Old Knudsen's friend on Facebook.

What do you most like/dislike about yourself?:  I like me shoulders, face, bum, muscular legs, flat stomach, arms that ripple with strength and me huge cock. I dislike my nipples as they produce milk at the most inconvenient times.   

Well fuck me what a load of  intrusive questions. I feel that Old Knudsen handled them well not giving away too much yet being mysterious and seductive. There should be a lot of replies in my inbox and yes Old Knudsen will travel across the world for a booty call, er I mean a meaningful relationship.