Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Bad Movies At Black Rock

Happy family my arse, he killed 8 hookers.

Old Knudsen may remind you that he is living with his gurlyboyfriend's parents for now and boy are they crazy. You could forgive the genocide and the pickled hobo heads but the crap they watch on the telly is um crap.

Woohoo's father Burt is in charge of the telly and flicks channels at any time. Old Knudsen no longer watches the TV because not only does he not want to watch that shite but their leather couch is as comfortable as an instrument of torture. They have BBC America but will they watch it? oh no.

It seems their TV is set up only to watch dull American sports, anything to do with prophesied end of times shows on the History channel, Bones, Hoose, NCIS, CSI, Law and order, Law and order SVU, CSI Miami, CSI yer ma and the classic Charlie Sheen sit com Two and a half men. A few other idiot shows appear but always get turned over half way through.

Old Knudsen has walked into the living room at 8am to see Burt watching Bones and then to walk in at 8pm and see Bones is still on what the fuck?

I go in and eat then leave. I heard the music and dialogue of one show and was positive it was Ally McBeal only to see it was Greys anatomy. On the Law and order ones you get the duh duh! bleeps every 5 minutes which isn't annoying oh no.

Old Knudsen is sensitive to formula shows and movies. One trick that is used is the two police officers are walking up to a house, suddenly two kids come running out playfully chasing each other followed by a parent shouting at them to be careful or something.

It saves on the boring standing at the door waiting for an answer and shows its a normal family and they have to solve the case in an hour including breaks. I am amazed how fast they get their lab results back.
Oh the Jane Doe had his name and address under her finger nails we hope he doesn't go after the sexy female lead cop only to be shot at the last moment.

Burt sometimes says something like , "I really liked that movie The kingdom of Heaven" Old Knudsen knowing it to be shite like most Orlando Bloom films just nods in silence. If Burt likes a film it has to be bad.


Fat Sparrow said...

"CSI" = "Can't Stand It."

Leah said...

Sarge's face gets a frozen, rictus look when the Law and Order music comes on.

I on the other hand treasure it for its numbing, opiate qualities.

Anonymous said...

Today's "non sequitur" says all about F***book.

Northern musings said...

Ah, but it is a way to waste an evening... but you need to take charge of the God stick. He who has the remote rules the world.

Donn w/2nz said...

CSI ALbania is cool because the most complex machine they have in Albania is a toaster!

Formulaic beffudlement is what Merkins demand from the idiot box.
You can show a guy getting a thousand rounds in his head but for godsake better not see any tits!

As long as the mystery is solved in one hour it will be a hit...except for soaps..people love them becaise it's cool to see what life would be like if every decision you ever made was stupid.
Now THAT is entertainment.

I sort of miss the Mod Squad and Mannix.

Anonymous said...


*Goes down inflames*