Sunday, 11 October 2009

The 10 Suggestions

In the spirit of the Church Of Old Knudsen I have changed the 10 commandments to the 10 suggestions. The originals were way too serious and a bit obvious. Live life, be grateful for what you have, keep learning and experiencing and don't be a cunt ................ its easy.

1) "I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before Me..."

1) "I am Old Knudsen who is a spy in the hoose of love. You can have as many Gods as ye want because God is one."
2) "Do not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above..."

2) "Ach sure it does no harm go ahead."
3) "Do not swear falsely by the name of the LORD..."

3) "Old Knudsen finds it funny to shout 'Jesus Christ!' when he sees a picture of Jesus so go ahead its all publicity."
4) "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy."

4) "Everyday is holy as everyday is a gift unless you have to work it."

5) "Honour yer Da and yer MA."

5) " Unless they are total cunts."
6) "Do not murder."

6) " Only murder if they deserve it like pedos or politicians."

7) "Do not commit adultery."

7) " Unless there is a really really good reason to do so."
8) "Do not steal."

8) "Swiping the odd pen from a faceless chain store that over prices is ok."
9) "Do not bear false witness against your neighbour."

9) "Unless yer neighbour who is a wife beater has the nerve to call the police on you when you mooned them and told them to fuck off."
10) "Do not covet your neighbor's wife."

10) "Unless she is hot and yer just looking."


Leah said...

Just so much more sensible. I knew there was a reason I liked the Church of Old Knudsen.

MJ said...

I have created a household shrine to Old Knudsen in a corner of my bedroom.

MJ said...

May I kiss the hem of your garment?

Donn w/2nz said...

Sounds doable.
Gee a lot of this sounds like common sense?

What's the deal with the 72 virgins if ya blow y'er head off 'cause someone else told you to?

I was sort of hoping that there'd be a couple of pros from Vegas instead...
because really, even if it is Eternity, who wants to waste time showing the ropes to a bunch of cheerleaders.