Thursday, 2 July 2015

The ISIS On The Cake



Chuck Netzhammer is a US flegger who wanted Wal-Mart to bake him a cake that had the Confederate battle fleg and the werds "Heritage not hate" on it, obviously to show that he isn't racist, he just doesn't care about yer feelings.

Wal-Mart has withdrawn all items with the Confederate fleg on it even though that are still keeping their highly controversial Swastika range of children's clothes. Netzhammer wanted to test this and he was denied his cake, he then sent in a request for an ISIS fleg cake .... though he never said what it was or who it was connected with.
Just like how he leaves out the whole slavery thing and how the Confederate fleg is a present day fav for white supremacists like the Klan.   


I get it, heritage and culture, I've heard all of the excuses for belittling the feelings of others, next you'll say how persecuted you are and yer freedoms are getting taken away and yer identity is getting chipped away at too ..... well good, cos yer a dick.

Imagine that, white people who aren't offended by slavery, must be Republican and can trace yer line back to the civil war.
Many Southerners were conscripted and were probably too poor to own slaves and look how badly they fought so maybe God just wasn't on their side, ah well, the right side won in the end so yay!
The British were willing to accept abolition rather than risk a widespread war in 1833 ..... just saying like.

The person who made the cake in Wal - Mart probably thought it said, 'Happy Birthday' in Muslimese.

    Party central ... keep it doon a bit boys eh? 

ISIS may have been started in 2003 under a different name or two when the US in all their wisdom disbanded the 100,000 strong Iraqi military with 80,000 becoming extremists. They now get to celebrate one year of almost non-stop victories and so need a cake. 

Netzhammer from butt fuck Louisiana, they want their cake and will replace all of your racist flegs with their black banner of Islam. Their fleg has history and goes back to the 8th century, the writing at the top says, 'There is no god but God, Muhammad is the messenger of God.'

The middle circle has the werds, 'Muhammad is the Messenger of God' in case you missed it the first time and to make it sound more true or something. 

So their fleg like the Nazi Swastika is a peaceful and religious symbol while the Southern cross was for states who fought to keep slavery alive ..... shame on you and yer cherry picked morals.

These old flegs and symbols need to be kept in museums and not used in the present because times have moved on and what was acceptable to the mostly white population then doesn't fly now.  

This story reminds me of the pastor Josh Feuerstein who went to the trouble of finding a ghey bakery and requesting a cake with 'We do not support gay marriage' on it. 

What is it with people with Germanic surnames, they were the only ones that gave me shit when I was in Callyfornia, a load of bitter fuckers.



Tunisia Hosts The Darwin Awards

Tunisia, a place of old stuff and sand, movies like Life of Brian, Raiders of the lost ark, Star Wars, The English patient and pirates (the Pedo Polanski flop not the Johnny Depp ones) were made there, come and visit they said, it'll be lovely they said.

Just because It's the north of Africa and beside Libya doesn't mean it's dangerous. People go to the Dominican Republic and Mexico for holiday all the time. Many resorts do of course have their own armed security and tourists don't set foot outside of them. Since 9/11 Americans have been wary of going to Tunisia and rightly so which shows they aren't as stoopid as some.

In March 2015 there was yon museum hostage crisis in the cuntry's capital city that left 19 dead including 17 foreign tourists, aye I'm sure Tunisia is well safe.  


I saw a tourism commercial on the telly that showed old rocks and sand and suggested that I'd like to go to Tunisia.

 Cum to Callyfornia and fuck my maid .... I have.

Old Knudsen only likes tourism ads with famous people on them. I watched the Tunisia ad and didn't see anything of interest and didn't know what the fuck I was looking at since it just had some obscure pictures and no commentary .... total fail.    

I was left with the hold on a minute feeling, who the fuck in their right mind would want to go to Tunisia? 
What was their government thinking? No one remembers March and hey what are the chances of being killed by ISIS? We really need our yearly 6 - 7 million tourists.

Well 38 people were shot dead on a Tunisia beach, mostly tourists British, German, and French and of course there is always the one token Irish person. ISIS/Daesh say they did it because you should be covered head to toe in clothing while sun bathing and tourism is against the Koran. 


Libya's tourism board are promoting lovely walks on their beaches.

Yeah I'm sorry for the families of those who were killed but seriously, Tunisia? The middle and north of Africa is crawling with Boko Harem and Daesh so you think it's a good idea to go cos it's cheap?

Aye we'll visit Tunisia since I've always wanted to see Tataouine and the Tunisia government assures us it is safe from ISIS then we 'll go to Egypt to see the pyramids of Giza and then to Raqqa in Syria for a cup of tea, what could possibly go wrong? 

I've never understood holidays, you pay money to go somewhere foreign to get drunk every night, get food poisoning from the dodgy food and get skin damage during the day while sleeping in an unfamiliar bed at night surrounded by people who think that flies on yer food is a part of the food pyramid. The only thing Tunisia has going for it is sex trafficking.      

You shouldn't let the terrorists dictate yer life but really, do you have to make it easy for them? Nothing says relaxing holiday like the chance of death. 

 

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Lights In Space

Many people remember the name Lance Armstrong as being the first (American) man to set foot on the moon but no one remembers the second, Buzz Lightbeer. Since the Apollo landings of 1969 no one has ever been to the moon since ... except for 4 other times after that but do we really believe it?

Why have we only been to the moon (not including Old Knudsen's times) 5 times? Commander Lightbeer has the answers. He couldn't say anything before as he was waiting for documents to be declassified.
 
  Now the truth is out there.


It seems that they met with a race of aliens known as the Greys, the Greys like to tie and chain people up and beat them with a riding crop and of course anally probe them. E. L. James 50 shades of grey was brought about from her regression therapy after being abducted. 

Commander Lightbeer goes on to say, "They are some nasty suckers, they had Armstrong for 3 hours and afterwards he couldn't ride a bike for a week, no wonder he never discussed it." 

 Get off my moon! 

Recently a probe was sent to the dwarf planet Ceres for a laugh. 7 years ago they had some extra budget and so threw something up and now it has finally reached the asteroid belt between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter ..... no one really cares but they have to do something with their time. 


Strange lights were found on the dwarf planet. NASA have said that it's probably just shiny space ice but Lightbeer knows better. 

"NASA have been trying to find new places to land but because there are alien cities on Ceres I bet someone at NASA lost their job. Can't speak I'm being watched, you know why American money is made of cotton and not paper? They weave tracking strips into the $20 bills." 

Lightbeer's nurse moved him away from the window I was standing outside of thus ending the interview. I think we've heard enough. 


Get rid of yer $20's and don't believe the grey propaganda in the movies, getting tied up and probed isn't that much fun .... no lips were bit in my case.  

Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Willie Frazer Joins Fightclub But Tells Everyone

video

Loyalist mouthpiece Protestant victims rights activist Willie Frazer was attacked at his door by a man claiming to have IRA connections. The older man who was disabled enough that he had to walk with a stick even gave Frazer a get well card since he is a dead man walking an all .... which was nice since he signed it.  

It's often a man's mouth that breaks his nose.

While Frazer getting barely violently attacked by an old disabled guy who was a foot smaller than him and losing the fight might seem funny to some, we at Old Bitter Balls do not support physical violence. 

When I say that there are terms and conditions attached as some people are in need of a good killing.  You don't threaten, you just do it.

Frazer's performance in the movie was quite unbelievable, he claims to be ex-military but can't even gain the upper hand at the door, never mind while on the ground. 

The attacker on the other hand was totally reminiscent of  Wolverine, if Wolverine didn't have claws and didn't know how to fight and had all the rage of a frustrated dementia sufferer who doesn't know where they are .... I mean he has a walking stick and doesn't use it once.   

I set the video to some appropriate music and thankfully it ends before the attacker (on top of Willie arf arf) dry humps Willie and explodes his old man seed all over Willie's face .... Something that Frazer did not mention in any of the post attack interviews.


Shame on anyone who fights as badly as this. 

The Confederate Flag Is Not Racist

Don't judge him, his other shirt says turtle power.  

"I am disgusted at how the Neggers and the Jews are portraying the Southern Cross, it is not and has never been a racist flag. The Jews try to demonize the Nazi Swastika but the Swastika is an ancient religious symbol that means in Sanskrit 'all is well.'"  Says Ron White the owner of Whites Only bar and grill in South Carolina.

He is upset at how those with 'left wing privilege' have been attacking his culture and heritage .... much like the poor down trodden Orangemen of Northern Ireland who only want their human rights protected, especially the right to do whatever they want.

South Carolina, Mississippi and Georgia gave their support for slavery as a reason for secession from the Union and so the confederate flags came into existence because of those beliefs. That doesn't make it wrong, the Nazi flag came into existence because the Nazis thought they were a superior people and that Jews, gheys and inferior races should be slaves or die, does that make them wrong? .... That logic hurts my head damn I wish I had the smarts.


The US civil war went on from 1861 - 1865 and its first flag represented South Carolina, Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana and Texas. Those break away states that respected black people's right to be owned like cattle and to work for free.... Now those rights have been taken away.


The second in 1863 looked like a white flag of surrender at a distance which gave rise to the Confederate battle cry of "No Surrender!"


The third flag known as the "Blood-Stained Banner" went up in 1865 ... then the south surrendered.

Gen. Robert E. Lee's Army of Northern Virginia used the current flag but Lee distanced himself from all those arsehole flags as he might have called them, there were no flags at all flown at his funeral.

"A flag devised from oppression and defeat is not fit to wipe shit with." ~ General Robert E Lee 1865

From the middle of the 20th century the confederate flag grew in popularity, the deep south still had segregation and the KKK in every town. When in 1948 Strom Thurmond ran for president, on their platform was "We stand for the segregation of the races" if you remember correctly Thurmond shagged the help and had a black daughter which he kept a secret until he was dead and she was aged 78.

After black kids were allowed to attend white schools the confederate flag went up even more ... not for racist purposes but for um culture, yeah that's right.

In 1961 the Confederate battle flag was erected over the State House in South Carolina and then moved near a monuments for fallen soldiers giving it heritage protection and an over whelming vote needed to have it removed .... democracy in action.

After the Dylann Roof shootings which were found to be heritage related rather than racial the South Carolina Governor Robert Bentley ... a Republican had 4 Confederate flags taken down and Nikki Haley, also a Republican called for flag to be removed from the State capitol.  It's bad when the Republicans admit to being wrong. 


Ron White looks me up and down then questions my parentage and sexual preferences but Old Knudsen is there to talk flegs, a subject that Every Ulster man is familiar with.

"If we was racist would we have let black people die at the Alamo?" 

The Alamo is a prized cultural tourist attraction in Texas made famous by a John Wayne movie, only the Duke could turn a crushing defeat into a victory. Colonel James Bowie (during his Ziggy years) had a black woman who died there and a slave belonging to Lieutenant Colonel William Barrett Travis is thought to have been the only male to survive the attack in 1836.

While looking at me and using his lazy eye to watch everywhere else Ron noticed a couple of trouble makers enter the bar and grill that he had to ask to leave. It may be construed as being racist because they just happened to be black so I'm seeing his point here. You can't even beat up gheys or scrawl immigrants out on a house without someone calling hate crime.  

He went onto say.

"We value diversity in our southern states as long as they know their place and let us express our culture and heritage. I've even heard some Liberals and uppity Negroes saying that burning crosses on lawns is racist but it's just us expressing our religious freedoms, what are they Muslim or something?"
 
Mr White's logic is sound and based on olde time values like segregation and slavery which are not racist but rather traditional. Who are we to judge another culture? next you'll be saying that torturing dogs before eating them like the Chinese do is wrong but it's not, it's culture!

 Away from the drug dealing, terrorist side of the UVF is the history appreciating side. 



The people of Northern Ireland don't know their own history but they know that they like flegs if they piss somebody off. 

Northern Ireland's greatest export .... shit stirrers and bullies. 

I've heard all the excuses for flying alleged cultural flags and tradition is the best excuse ever. Slavery (itself a tradition) gave the US the tradition of the second amendment, Roots and Django Unchained so think twice before you go bagging on slavery and other cracker traditions.


 

My Big Ghey American Wedding


It's great news that the supreme court in the US has made ghey marriage legal in all 50 states. Great news for blokes wanting to marry other blokes and even better news for wedding planners and divorce lawyers.

We here at Knudsen and Knudsen attorneys at law will fight for you. yer loved one wants custody of the wee African you adopted together? .... well we can tear doon their reputation and even frame them for a crime if you wish, anything to win cos that is what it's about.

Knudsen and Knudsen

Established in 1983 an old wank sock became sentient and got a law degree and now we fight for you!

Want to keep yer tastefully decorated home? We can't blame you, 80% of our cases have a 40% success rate in favour of 8% of our clients ... we don't do no math, we do LAW!

Did that special other go from being yer twin flame to being that bitch in a boa? We can intimidate or vanish them to a government experimentation center .... because we can!

Sure some cunts like the governors in Louisiana and Texas are trying to pressure their counties not to wed gheys, they will be visited by the angel of death as God loves fags!

 Warning, this is really Old Knudsen, put yer hands where I can see them.

Let Knudsen and Knudsen take you on yer journey of wedded bliss by planning yer wedding and then taking sides with the person with the most money for yer divorce. We'll even vet yer partner with a honey trap to see if they are likely to cheat ...  Who couldn't resist the wit an charm and purdy mouth of Old Knudsen?

If gheys want marriage then they'll have to accept divorce too as written by Jesus in the Bible. If you aren't jaded and cynical enough to hire Old Knudsen to fight for you in court then just hire him to fight for you at parties .... all the big Hollywood A-listers are doing it like John Cryer and Clint Howard, I will bite off a hobo's ear for YOU! 

 

Monday, 29 June 2015

Loyalists Are Arson Around


If you laugh at the fact that a bonfire in the centre of Belfast .... aye the capital city in the 21st century was set on fire prematurely then you get called a Fenian or Republican, well Old Knudsen is laughing at yer fleggory misfortune.

Look at the effort it takes to make these things, the pallets that are begged borrowed and stolen from all over. Those blue pallets belong to a company that makes a loss every year but what are you to do when the police and the law are biased and toothless?

A big fuss was made because it was set on fire before the traditional 11th July night and it caused a disruption so the police were angry. If you set a giant bonfire on fire in the centre of Belfast it's arson, when you do it on the 11th July it's culture!

Loyalists have a long tradition of being arson loving drug dealing bullies, it's their culture and heritage, you can trust their Fenian counterparts just as much, both sides are criminals with unrealistic ideas who will stop at nothing to achieve them .... but the Loyalists are dumb as fuck and embarrassing in their self-entitled ways, the English never get on like that.


When the little Fleggers who spent weeks under the instruction of a paramilitary hood community worker, ditching school so they could pile a load of wood onto some pram wheels dragging it around the local businesses shouting, "hey mister, got any wood for the boney?" saw their work go up in flames did tears stream doon their snot covered faces as they asked, "Billy, why would somebody do this?" 
Here is yer answer you little shit, 'some men just want to watch the pallets burn.'  

 
 

25 Good Reasons To Join ISIS

Looking for a challenging career in which you can get a head?

What are the signs that yer kid is about to run off and join ISIS/Daesh? Could it be the growing of bum fluff on their chins? ..... very odd for gurls to do but still. Maybe they refuse to eat the pork chops you've cooked and they spit at you and call you an infidel pig?

A plane ticket to Turkey is usually a give away, who gives kids that kind of money anyways? In my day if you did all the chores and helped with dinner you'd get beat and told how lucky you were to have what you have .... and we were lucky.

If yer teen is surly, avoids you and spends all their time up in their room on the Interwebs then either they are a "normal" teen or they are about to go jihad. If American they may be about to go on a shooting spree.

Old Knudsen often sends pictures to his friends who in turn take pictures of them holding the  picture. 




If any of that worries you then there is only one way to be sure, check their trash can. If yer kid doesn't have a cold or allergies but the trash can is always full and smells like a Thai food restaurant then they are just wanking a lot and sexting etc, normal teen stuff. If the bin is the usual trash then check their Interweb history, any parent worth their salt knows not to show their child how to do this, it's the one thing you just happen to forget to tell them.

 Beautiful Raqqa in Syria.

So I was on yon dark net talking to some Jahidis on Hatebook and they accused me of having anti-Daesh views that was probably based on them being brown skinned and so I was deeply ashamed.
Was Old Knudsen using his white privilege to judge? It is awesome being white though, you never get stopped by the police and always get served in shops first .... well our police are kinda shite and don't like conflict and I always jump queue cos I'm old and don't want to die waiting to buy a fucking scratch card.
In Northern Ireland we don't have many darkies but I'm sure the ones we have get treated with courtesy and respect cos we're Irish and friendly like.  We don't single people out nor are we racist, all Asians get called chinky no matter where they are from, all blacks are African and all brown people are pakkies, we is very respectful of cultures and traditions because we know what it's like to have yer culture and beliefs disrespected and so wouldn't do that ... unless yer a Fenian or just look like one of course ..... or Dutch, who likes the Dutch huh?   

ISIS/Daesh/cocksuckers asked me to write some kind werds about them to show I wasn't racist and also to encourage recruitment to replenish their ranks of fools, idiots and loonies brave fighters to fight a holy war against western influence as you can see on their Youtube and Twitter accounts. I follow Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi on Instagram, can't wait to see what he's having for dinner tonight.



Abu Khaled ,  Abdullah Emir or Colin is a famous Australian boy who got attention when his parents outed him as being 'as white as rice' ..... I suspect they don't mean brown rice. Daesh have been more accepting of Colin and have encouraged him to be himself, something his family never did. An ISIS spokesman said: "Come join us at our luxury resort and spa in Raqqa, we won't judge you because Allah doesn't mind who blows themselves up for him as long as they take some enemy with them."

Offer does not include Christians or gheys terms and conditions may apply.  



Colin never had a gurlfriend and now the gurls are lining up to meet him. Not that they have a choice. 
The Yazidis are touted in the western media as being Christian, lets not forget how they stoned 17 year-old Du’a Khalil Aswad to death for running off to marry a Muslim boy in 2007. Westerners fail to understand the ways of the sand savage and try to compare them to ourselves which is how Jesus became white.


There are other gurls who really want to meet Colin and his friends.   

ISIS deny the rumour that they use western members as suicide bombers because they are soft and useless, females get used as cum bucket/slaves wives for brave fighters and get elevated to an important social status and if yer husband dies you'll be given a new one ... arranged marriages can be soo romantic. 

Raqqa is one of those cities you should see before you die, it's green and lush and always a comfortable 72 degrees Fahrenheit. The malls offer the best in variety and quality, you can find a koran, burka and AK-47 all in the same place ..... it even has soft toilet paper. 

A-list stars? Raqqa also has the highest concentration of failed British rappers that no one has ever heard of .... because they are just soo cool an street.


Do not believe pictures like this that shows Raqqa as being a butt fuck dustbowl where people (women) walk about in black robes carrying their 10 kids in 100 degree heat, that is just western lies. ISIS also do not show beheadings to young children and brainwash them with scripture, they have the best health and childcare system in the world. People joining all the time you get to hear all about yer favorite TV shows and movies, everything is so personal and real.

The real Raqqa that the west wouldn't show is a paradise and everyone has Crystal, Maybach, Diamonds on your timepiece, Jet planes, Islands, Tigers on a gold leash ... all halal of course or in Raqqa we say halol cos the place is soo much fun ..... lol!

The thing that Jahadis always show foreigners to get them to join ISIS is Nutella. As if that makes everything all worth it.   


Of course ISIS have their own brand due to a supply issues and you can barely taste the bull semen or the chemical they use to preserve it in the heat .... I'm just mentioning the taste so you'll be less um surprised.  

If you are unsure of joining ISIS I hope this post has helped you. Go join them you disaffected and disenfranchised misguided fool, you weren't going to have a future anyway but when you get killed in the butt fuck desert you can have a great future in the afterlife ... assuming they haven't got their version of Islam all fucked up like the scholars say. 

 

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Are You A Real Man?


Back in 2007, 15 British sailors and Marines were surrounded and captured by the Iranian Republican Guard. They were paraded about and forced to give false accounts of what had happened saying that they had gone onto Iranian water when they didn't.

Sailor Arthur Bachelor complained how the guards would call him Mr Bean and they'd flick his neck and how he cried himself to sleep when they took his iPod away.  Ach sure you don't expect the navy to be tough but this was terrible. It made Old Knudsen wonder about when did men become such wussies.  

You want to have sex with us? ... then you have to understand us. 

Weemen are cruel, Machiavellian creatures that can smell weakness like a fart in a car.  Men stopped being real men not when they had to explore and develop their own feelings but when weemen insisted that they understand what the woman was feeling.

They had taken years of being at the mercy of men, sure they had the vote .... they could vote for which ever man they wanted. Then men got clever and invented the birth control pill.  


"I wanted a pill for women so I could fuck them all day and all night without catching the baby disease, cos I loves the pussy."  ~ Dr Gregory Pincus.

Female rights activist Margret Sanger actually made the men behind the science think it was their idea. Like I said Machiavellian.

Before you know it weemen are in control of their own destinies, having careers and saying shocking things like how they enjoy having sex. Then they are ruling small cuntries and getting blown up in space like the men .... it's crazy!


Since weemen are doing more than just the dishes, laundry and cleaning that they are usually happy to do they now expect more from men because they themselves are capable of so much more.

They now expect men to have opinions about dresses and colours and remember things like birthdays and anniversaries .... men had to grow up!

     Real Man Burt Reynolds in Gator. 

You know the trap guys, you are sitting there with yer lady friend having a perfectly fine day and then she ruins it by saying, "what are you thinking?" how many times have we been caught out and have actually said something? 

A good man knows that she isn't interested in what you are thinking she is merely demonstrating her power over life and death. So you come up with something ahead of time, "uh I was singing the theme to Scobby Doo in my head" it's such a contagious song that it could be true. Laugh it off that yer such a bimbo, situation defused.

Joy, rage, hate, fear .... should all look the same on a real man's face.

So years of being told it is ok to feel and seeing yer movie heroes go from Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson and John Wayne to. 


You just can't help but to like him. Even as the dark and brooding caped crusader he was still very non-threatening.

This is the most delicious pie ever!

Real men look annoyed all the time, the only pets they have is a medium to large sized dog or a parrot. They smoke, drink and fart usually at the same time and think nothing of it. Interior decorating means the head of some animal up on the wall, real men don't feel pain ... well not when people are looking. Facial hair makes the man cos who has ever complimented anyone on having a fine manly soft shaved chin? It doesn't happen, side burns and nose hair are manly too. 
Real men don't go to the gym to pump iron in front of a mirror, they lift trees and small cars for fun and when they get their hands dirty it never comes off, except onto the clean bedsheets. A real man never hits a lady .... unless she is a crack ho that owes him money, he never lies cheats or steals except when it suits him and he doesn't make threats to people, he just does it.


You see how hard it is? .... er I mean to be a real man in this climate of what are you thinking? So yeah, I'm blaming weemen, no I'm not blaming the men, thinking with our penis got us through the fucking ice age, I refuse to apologise for it. I do apologise for using my penis to key in my pin number at the Nat West ATM, I just wanted to see if I could .... do they all have cameras? They should say so on them. 

The last bastions where real men live are those places not included when we say The West, yep South America, Africa, Russia, The Middle East, China, Australia .... all those places that still treat weemen like shit, well more so than us. Germany doesn't count because they only have one gender there. Being a real man is a big like being a stud, both titles thought up by men that if weemen did it they would be frowned upon but boys will be boys.

People tend to want a real man somewhere in between being a total cunt and a boy scout and complain when we get the mixture wrong, lets just work at being men and see if shit gets real.  
  

Thursday, 25 June 2015

The Vatican And Pietro Beretta Arms Company

As a cardinal the Pope was sent to Russia to hone up his sniping skills in a bid to end homelessness  in Argentina.

There has been a rumor going around the pseudo news sites since 2012 that the Vatican bank otherwise known as IOR (Institute for Works of Religion) is a major investor in Beretta Holding SpA which runs the Pietro Beretta arms factory. 

 Lethal weapon and Die hard movies both featured the 9 mil Beretta as the hero gun. 

Berettas are fine weapons which thanks to action movies in the 1980's had a resurgence in interest and coincidentally (not so much) the US military started using the Beretta in 1985 and are in the process of updating their M9 9 mil Beretta but can't decide with what, another Beretta or a Sig Sauer? I suppose cost will be the deciding factor.   

Clint can't fire his 357 Colt Python anymore thanks to brittle bones, maybe he should switch to a 9 mil.

Revolvers got relegated to the gun that old timers use. People no longer wanted to come over every thing a mere 6 times but wanted to come over and over and not tire out their wrist .... er I mean shoot.

The reason for interest in what the Vatican invests in is because the Pope recently said that if you invest or make arms (weapons not limbs) then you can't be a true Christian. Then he whipped a young priest for not having his 50 gold goblets shiny enough. 

 Who am I to say if they should do the walk of shame? .... but of course they must.

Yes the Pope says many things about tolerance, helping others and continues with the same policies of excluding and condemning gheys and oppressing weemen .... but he smiles and sacrifices the odd Cardinal to show he doesn't like pedos unlike back in the day when he enabled them so he must be nice. 

If you own a car, like having money and luxuries then I can't see how you'd be a true Christian anyway. Jesus never had a Smart phone or a flat screen TV ... ach that made up hippy didn't even have shoe laces for fucks sake . "Hey I don't know how to set up a Face book account, whatever that is but when you die I'll look after your soul."   Can you really trust someone who didn't Instagram their last supper? ..... 13 blokes and not a Twitter account amongst them.

If you can't trust a deity who raped a young woman so she would give birth to himself then who can you trust? .... and people slag off the Anti-Christ. 


Here is the truth on whether or not the Vatican has shares in the Beretta arms company. It all comes from an over heard conversation the Pope was having with some of his chums. The Pope lifted his robe to show a  Beretta 21A Bobcat strapped to his ankle, as well as having that compact little pistol he said that he owns a Bereta 92 and sleeps with it under his pillow in case any mother fucka (sic) wanted to have a go. 

So he doesn't own shares in Beretta, he just owns some Beretta's. The Swiss are famous for being a gun owning nation but in reality loud noises makes the typical Swiss person pee themselves, they don't mean to profit off wars but it's hard to shoot the enemy with a leg full of pee and blinking every time you shoot ... so get off their back.  

Like horses on parades the Swiss guard who protect the Pope have to be bomb proofed, that means that they not panic when a loud noise goes off, sort of what the US military have been doing with the Iraqi army. 
The Swiss get nervous around guns and prefer pointed sticks so the Pope has to protect himself. 

Raised in the slums of Argentina the Pope has had to fight and molest his way to the top. In Buenos Aires he would go out late at night and help the homeless, when asked he would modestly down play his acts of kindness but the people of the street would tell stories of how he'd put all the street urchins into his van with the blacked out windows and take them to live on a beautiful farm. It must have been a lovely place to live as none ever returned to a life on the streets. 

A Beretta strapped to his ankle isn't the only protection he has, his body is also covered neck to toe in tattoos of holy scripture so he isn't infected by the sin of those he comes in contact with. 

I hope this explains the whole major share holder of an arms company thing, you have to be careful about what you read on the Interwebs. 



  


A Study In Shooting Sprees

 

So I looked up all the shooting sprees I could find in the US, the first one is actually a dynamite spree but I thought it should get a mention just for being so fucking out there. I tried to keep the facts to a minimum with the date, place, name of the shooter/s and what kind of weapon they had if I could get that info.The deaths do not include any shooters, just their victims and many of these shooters are still alive today.
A shooting spree in this instance is the killing of 3 more more people with a firearm being one of the weapons used, if there are only 2 victims then the shooter had tried for more or killed themselves. I'm sure I've missed some sprees that were treated more like murder than a spree.

I had it in my head that most of the shooters would be young white males but there are middle aged and older gents as well as black, Hispanic, Asian and Native American, even two women are in the list though one claims that her boyfriend did all the shooting.
During my research when I was expecting to find loads of crazy white dudes I was surprised to find more shooters of colour than I had expected. I didn't skew my findings I looked for every US shooting spree I could, these are just the facts, take what you will from them.

More civilians become shooters than those who have served in the military.  Two civilian people who tried to intervene in two separate shootings, one armed and one not were both killed which puts a stop to the 'if we were armed we'd be safe' argument as no one is safe.

Everything relies on how calm you are, how skilled with a gun you are and how lucky you are. More murders are committed with handguns than with rifles and shotguns according to FBI figures .

Kehoe and his wife, before they were blown up obviously. 

May 1927, Michigan, Andrew Philip Kehoe an angry farmer killed 43 people (including 38 children) at the Bath elementary school in Michigan with dynamite.
 


Aug 1928 Fairfield California, Leung Yeung, 29 killed 11 people with a hatchet and a lever action rifle. 

Unruh used his war trophy to kill with as he went for a walk. 

Sept, 1949 Camden, New Jersey, 28-year-old Howard Unruh, a World War II vet kills 13 people  German Luger pistol.

Dec 1957 - Jan 1958 Nebraska and Wyoming, Charles Raymond Starkweather 20, and Caril Ann Fugate, 14 went on a two-month murder spree killing 11 people and 2 dogs, they were armed with a 22 rifle, shotgun and a handgun. Movies and songs have been made about this pair.


August, 1966 Austin, Texas, Charles Joseph Whitman, a former U.S. Marine, stabs his wife and mother and kills a further 14 from the University of Texas tower with his M1 carbine.

Jan, 1973  New Orleans, Navy vet Mark James Robert Essex 23, armed with a Ruger 44 magnum and a 38 cal revolver killed 9 people.

 He killed while doing Woody Allen impressions ..... pure evil. 

March 1975 Ohio, James Urban Ruppert 41, armed with a 357 magnum, two 22 cal handguns and a rifle killed 11 in what is known as the Easter Sunday Massacre.

August, 1982  Miami, 51-year-old history teacher Carl Robert Brown who had a dishonorable discharge from the Navy, kills 8 people with his 12 gauge shotgun.


Sep, 1982 Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, 40-year-old George Banks, kills 13 people including five of his own children with a Colt AR-15.


July, 1984 San Ysidro, California, 41-year-old James Huberty, armed with an  Uzi 9 mil carbine, a Winchester pump-action shotgun and a 9 mil Browning handgun shoots and kills 21 adults and children at a local McDonalds.

August, 1986 Edmond, Oklahoma, part-time mail carrier Patrick Henry Sherrill, with 2 Remington M1911 handguns and a Ruger 22 pistol kills 14 postal workers in 10 minutes.


Dec, 1987 Arkansas, Ronald Gene Simmons, Sr an air force vet armed with a hammer, crowbar, rope and two 22 handguns killed 16 people.
  

Sept, 1989 Louisville, Kentucky, 47-year-old Joseph Wesbecker armed with a AK-47 assault rifle, two MAC-11 semi-automatic pistols, a .38 cal handgun, a 9-mil semi-automatic pistol and a bayonet kills 8 co-workers at Standard Gravure Corporation.


June, 1990 Jacksonville, Florida, 42-year-old James Pough, opens fire with a 38 revolver and an M1 carbine at a General Motors Acceptance Corp. office, killing 9. The day before he killed a pimp and a hooker.


Oct, 1991 Killeen, Texas, 35-year-old George Hennard with a Glock 17 and a Ruger P89 kills 23 at a Lubys Cafeteria.

July, 1993 San Francisco, 55-year-old Gian Luigi Ferri armed with 2 Tec-9 machine pistols and a Norinco NP44 handgun kills 8 people in a law office.


April 20, 1999 Columbine, Colorado, Eric David Harris, 18 and Dylan Bennet Klebold 17, armed with a 995 carbine, a Savage pump action shotgun, a Tec9 machine pistol, a sawn off shotgun and explosives killed 12 students and one teacher at the Columbine High school.  

July, 1999 Atlanta, 44-year-old Mark Barton kills his wife and two children with a hammer at his home. Then opens fire in two different houses killing 9 people using a Colt 1911, Glock 17, 22 revolver and a Raven .25 handgun.



Sept, 1999 Fort Worth Texas, Larry Gene Ashbrook 47, armed with a Ruger P85 and a 38 cal pistol and a pipe bomb killed 7 people at a Christian rock concert.

OMG the po po have nicked Hagrid.

Dec, 2000 Wakefield Massachusetts, Naval vet Michael McDermott armed with a Winchester shotgun, 32 cal pistol and an AK-47 type weapon killed 7 of his coworkers at Edgewater Technology.

Dec 2000 Wichita Kansas, brothers Reginald and Jonathan Carr killed 5 people and a dog.

Malvo left and Muhammad right.

Feb 2002 - Sept 2003 Maryland, Virginia and Washington DC, Army vet John Allen Muhammad 42 and Lee Boyd Malvo 17 used a Bushmaster .223 cal rifle to kill 10 people.  
 

July , 2003 Meridian Mississippi, Doug Williams 48, armed with a Winchester shotgun and a Ruger mini-14 carbine killed 7 people.


August 2003 West Virginia, Shawn Lester killed 3 people with a 22 rifle.


Feb 2005 Texas, David Hernandez Arroyo, Sr armed with an AK-47 killed 2 people (including his ex-wife) before police shot him.

Super creep, super creep, he's super creepy.

March  2005 Wisconsin, Terry Michael Ratzmann 44, armed with a 9 mil Beretta handgun killed 7 members of the Living Church of God at a Sheraton hotel.


March , 2005 Minnesota, Jeffrey Weise 16, killed 8 people with a Glock 23 40 cal pistol, a Ruger 22 cal pistol and a Remington 870 shotgun.


Jan, 2006 Goleta California, Jennifer San Marco 44, killed 7 people with a S&W 9 mil handgun.


March, 2006 Seattle, Washington, 28-year-old Kyle Aaron Huff  armed with a Winchester shotgun and a Ruger P944 40 cal handgun killed 6 people.


Oct, 2006 Pennsylvania, 32-year-old Charles Carl Roberts armed with a Springfield 9 mil handgun, a Browning pump action shotgun and a Ruger bolt action rifle killed 5 girls at an Amish schoolhouse.

Feb, 2007 Salt Lake City  Utah, Sulejman Talovic 18, armed with a Mossberg 88 field shotgun and a S&W 38 cal revolver killed 5 people.



April, 2007 Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia. 23-year-old student Seung-Hui Cho armed with a Glock 19 and a Walther P22 killed 32 people.

 A clueless looking long faced young man. 

Dec, 2007 Omaha, Nebraska, 19-year-old Robert Hawkins goes to a mall with an AK-47 type weapon and kills 8.

Feb, 2008 Kirkwood, Missouri Charles Lee Thornton 52, armed with a S&W 44 magnum and a S&W 40 cal hangun killed 6 people.


Feb, 2008 Illinois,  Steven Kazmierczak, 27, armed with a  Remington shotgun, Glock 19 handgun and a Sig Saur P230 handgun kills 6 in a lecture hall at Northern Illinois University. 


March , 2009,  Alabama, Michael Kenneth McLendon, 28, armed with a Soviet-made SKS, a Bushmaster AR-15, a 12 gauge shotgun and a .38 caliber pistol killed 10 people.


March, 2009 Carthage, North Carolina, 45-year-old Robert Stewart with a 357 magnum revolver, a 22 Magnum pistol and a Winchester 12 gauge shotgun kills a nurse and 7 elderly patients at a nursing home.
March, 2009 Oakland California, Lovelle Mixon 26, killed 4 police officers with a SKS carbine and a 9 mil pistol. 

April, 2009 Binghamton, New York,  Jiverly Wong, 41, armed with a 9 mil Beretta handgun and a 45 cal Beretta handgun killed 13.
 

Nov, 2009 Fort Hood Texas, Army psychiatrist Major Nidal Malik Hasan armed with a FN Five-seven pistol kills 13.


Jan, 2010 Virginia, Christopher Speight, 39, kills 8 people with a high-powered rifle.


August, 2010  Manchester, Connecticut, Omar Thornton with 2 Ruger SR9 handguns kills 8 co-workers at Hartford Distributors.

Jan, 2011 Arizona, Jared Loughner, 22, opened fire with a Glock 19 at a Safeway market in Tucson, Arizona, 6 people died totally not including politician Gabrielle Giffords who was injured with a shot to the head.  

July, 2011 Michigan, Rodrick Shonte Dantzler, 34 killed 7 with a Glock 19 9 mil handgun.


Sept, 2011 Nevada, Eduardo Sencion, 32, killed 5 people with a Chinese made AK-47 at an IHOP restaurant in Carson City.

Oct, 2011 Seal Beach, California  Scott Evans Dekraai, 41 armed with a Springfield 9 mil handgun, a 44 magnum revolver and a 45 cal H&K handgun killed 8 at the Salon Meritage in Seal Beach.


Feb, 2012 Ohio, Thomas "TJ" Lane 17,  killed 3 students at Chardon High School with a Ruger Mark III 22 cal pistol.


April, 2012 Oakland California, 43-year-old One L. Goh armed with a 45 cal handgun killed 7 people at a Korean Christian college.


April, 2012 Tulsa, Oklahoma, Jake England, 19, and Alvin Watts, 32, shot dead 3 people. 


May, 2012 Seattle Washington, Ian Lee Stawicki 40, killed 5 people at the Cafe Racer with a 45 cal handgun.

 Yes he is from Futurama.

July, 2012 Aurora, Colorado, James E. Holmes, 24, armed with a Smith & Wesson MP15 (their AR-15 version) a Remington 12-gauge shotgun and two 22 cal Glock handguns killed 12 people at a movie theater.

 He might have been a white supremacist.

August, 2012 Wisconsin,  40-year-old Wade Michael Page a US army vet armed with a Springfield made handgun killed 6 at a Sikh temple.


Sept, 2012 Minneapolis, 36-year-old Andrew Engeldinger killed 6 with a Glock 19 handgun at Accent Signage Systems.

Flat brim, sticker on underside .... a killer and a douchebag.

Dec, 2012 Clackamas Oregon, Jacob Tyler Robert 22, killed 2 people then himself with a Stag -15 (AR-15 type) rifle.

  A clueless looking long faced young man. 

Dec, 2012 Newtown, Connecticut, Adam Lanza, 20, shoots his mother then armed with a Bushmaster Model XM15-E2S rifle and a Glock 17 kills 20 children a 6 adults at the Sandy Hook Elementary School .

Feb, 2013 California, Christopher Dorner, 33, armed with assault rifles, a sniper rifle and pistols killed 4 people. 



June 2013 Santa Monica California, 23-year-old John Zawahri armed with an AR-15 type rifle and a Remington model 1858 revolver killed 5 people. Who did he want to kill with the revolver, Jesse James? 


Sept 16, 2013 Washington Navy Yard, Navy vet Aaron Alexis, 34 armed with a Remington Model 870 shotgun and a Beretta 92SS 9 mil handgun kills 12.

Perspective 

10,076 people were killed in drunk driving crashes in 2013 according to MADD  in fact 28 people are killed in drunk driving crashes EVERY DAY across the US. Maybe they should regulate cars and make you have a permit or something since they are so dangerous.  

565 people die each year from trips, slips and falls .... that is close to the amount of people killed by spree shooters since 1927 which is 541, my amounts do not include any of the shooters.   

In 2006, 618 murders committed with hammers and clubs. In 2011 that number was 496.  Deaths by unarmed combat is usually 800 - 900 cases a year. 

When you look at gun statistics you also have to count in the estimated 22,000 suicides and accidental shootings that occur annually, these figures tend to end up in the gun deaths pile.

Switzerland is often cited as having lots of guns yet a low homicide rate, well it's lower than the US at 6.4 firearm deaths per 100,000 population per year while the US is at 10.27 but higher than others. Switzerland also has very strict gun control with you having to apply for a license 4 times a year.  They just had a spree shooting in May 2015 that left 5 including the shooter dead.
 

April 2014, Fort Hood Texas, Army Specialist Ivan Lopez, 34 armed with a S&W 45 cal pistol killed 3 people.

 
 I think it might have been a hate crime. Saddam called, he wants his porn tache back.

April 2014 Kansas, ex Green Beret and former political candidate and KKK Grand Dragon, Frazier Glenn Miller, Jr 73, armed with a Remington 870 shotgun, and a handgun killed 3 people at the Jewish Community Center of Greater Kansas City and Village Shalom.

Smug crazy fucker alert!

May, 2014 Isla Vista California, Elliot Rodger 22, killed 6 people while armed with  knives, a Glock 34 handgun and 2 Sig Sauer P226 pistols.


June 2014 Vegas Nevada, Jerad and Amanda Miller armed with a 9 mil Smith & Wesson MP, a Ruger 38 revolver a Winchester shotgun and two handguns taken from victims killed 3 people before they were killed.


Dec, 2014 Pennsburg Pennsylvania, Bradley William Stone 35, armed with a 40 cal Heckler & Koch handgun and a 9 mil Beretta killed 6 people. Why are gingers allowed to own guns?


Feb 2015 Tyrone Missouri, 36-year-old Joseph Jesse Aldridge armed with a 45 cal handgun killed 7 people.

June 2015 South Carolina, Dylann Roof armed with a 45 cal Glock handgun killed 9 people.

Now the United Kingdom's list of shooting sprees. I have not included the Troubles of Northern Ireland. Funny how the Northern Ireland terrorists always seem to manage to get guns though, while the rest of us can't.


October 1978 West Bromwich, Harry Street killed 5 people in a shooting spree. He was released from prison in 1994 because the UK doesn't do punishment for crimes but then he was locked up in 2013 after a stash of guns and bomb making equipment was found in his house. He was becoming obsessed with his neighbours, similar behaviour to what he was having before his spree. He may never be released again but this is the UK so never say never.  


August 1985 Essex, Jeremy Bamber killed 5 of his family with a 22 rifle. There is a website stating his innocence .... just as there is one for Scot Peterson who killed his wife Laci and their unborn child. Lots of innocent people in prison. 


August 1987 Hungerford, Michael Robert Ryan armed with a Chinese type AK-47, M1 carbine and a Beretta 92 killed 16 people.

This shooting changed the law and banned the ownership of semi-automatic centre-fire rifles and restricted the use of shotguns that take more than 3 shells. 

March 1996 Dunblane, Thomas Hamilton 43, armed with a 9 mil Browning HP pistol and a S&W 357 magnum killed 16 primary school children and their teacher.

The law changed again and private ownership of handguns was made illegal in the United Kingdom. 


July 2006 Newcastle-upon Tyne, ex soldier David Bradley killed 4 people with a silenced handgun. He obviously didn't get the memo about handguns being made illegal 10 years previously and he also had a pump action shotgun, so much for laws. 


June 2010 Cumbria, Derrick Bird 52, armed with a double barreled shotgun and a 22 bolt action rifle killed 12 people.

If people don't have guns then they use arson or knives but it isn't as easy as with a gun. 21 year-old teacher Lisa Potts saved her children from a machete wielding nutter who almost severed her arm. Even with the laws changed you see that the creeps still get the guns or switch to hammers.   The no brainer point is that fewer guns means less gun violence.