Monday, 27 June 2016

Off The Hook

I my life time music has gone from vinyl to cassette to CD and now to Download. In 50 years we'll have social media chips in our skulls and have our music beamed there. Thankfully U2 will be dead and won't force their "free" albums that we have to pay for later unless we opt out unto us. "Aw crap I've got this song stuck in my head ... literally."

Social media chips will be as compulsory as having a Twitter account. What you don't even have a skull book? ... check out the geezer. It will become law to get them when politicians have their people buy shares in the company under a name you can't link to them.

"I just happen to think this law is necessary .... um no reason."

While the automobile stays the same with the same mileage as when it was first made, phones have also changed big time.
With all these changes the newer generations will have to pay attention if they want to know what it was like in ye olden days. Phones with curly cords and dials. My Ma was one of the last hold outs to change her phone from a rotary dial to buttons. British Telecom had to force her as dial phones wouldn't work with the changing times .... press the hash key, no not that one the pound key! .... the number sign for fucks sake!     

In the Foo Fighter's Walk video Dave Grohl goes to a payphone to make a call only to find how the times are a changing. 

Now a days when I see a payphone in the street I do a double take. There will be a time when they vanish completely unless you go to places like butt fuck India.  


All those movies that have the hero racing to pick up payphones to meet some ransom demands will no longer make sense. Not that they made sense anyways. What cop can run 2 miles? Old Knudsen would say, "fuck it, kill em, I don't do running".

Depeche Mode's song Personal Jesus (which Marilyn Manson ripped off for the theme to Salem) has the werds, 'Flesh and bone By the telephone Lift up the receiver I'll make you a believer' what the fuck is a receiver? says a young person

It's the two buttons people frantically push down in movies when the phone is dead. Like cross walk buttons .... why isn't this fucken changing? .... if I keep pushing it it'll change. 

People will say "off the hook" but won't connect it to 'off the peg' clothing or a constantly ringing phone. There will be idiot Facebook memes that say, 'click LIKE if you've ever heard a dial tone' or did you know that ringtones comes from the way telephones would sound in the olden days? .... they would ring. Off the hook means it's great or some such shite, young people are idiots.

When bad meant cool and sick meant good I decided that young people needed wicked awesome slaps to the hed.

 What up dawg?

I used to smile when I heard someone with a ringing cell phone, ah someone that remembers how phones sounded, then everyone did that and it became annoying. Like how everyone and their dog gets a fucken tattoo now. 

The Ultravox song All Stood Still has, 'Please remember to mention me In tapes you might leave behind' what the fuck are tapes asks the young gormless person. I'm not even gonna mention 8 tracks cos they weren't big in the UK. They can be left to cunts in movies that think they are cool cos they listen to an old format.
It sounds more authentic .... fuck aff! do musicians have white noise machines at concerts to make their music sound crap? 

Language changes along with the times. The 2nd amendment kinda meant inaccurate muskets as rifles weren't even a thing. A rifle has a grove inside its barrel which makes the bullet spin thus making it faster, more accurate and with better range.
Muskets were tubes that lead balls flew out of. Like a fuzzy with an RPG it takes more luck than skill to hit the target.

Now you have the NRA calling assault rifles (something the military could use) as sporting rifles, go fuck. Those rifles are meant for war which is in no way what war is ..... sporting.  

This is the type of AR-15 the Orlando shooter used. In yer face libtards it's a The Sig Sauer MCX . Lol lol lol, you are sooo stoopid.   


Saturday, 25 June 2016

Club 27

Remember in the Star Trek movie when Kirk fires Scotty and tells Chekhov to take over? Chekhov looks apprehensively at a red shirt.

Anton Yelchin died when his car rolled back on his inclined driveway and pinned him against the gate post. He died just after 1am on a Sunday and was checked up on when he was late for rehearsal. 

 He wears mustard for fucks sake!

It's a shame, of all the people that could have died like this it had so be someone (not just a part of a franchise) that seemed to be nice. Trump, Ted Nugent, Johnny Depp or even Martin Shkreli .... why not them? 

Yelchin was in a movie I liked called Odd Thomas as well as the Star Trek ones. He gave comedy relief by trying to voice activate things using his Russian accent. 

Is it a curse or a bonus that he died aged 27?  Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Brian Jones, Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse all died aged 27. Now there is a 27 club listing those famous and slightly famous people who died at that age. 

No conspiracy it's just coincidence as there are plenty of famous people that didn't die aged 27.   

Anton Yelchin not only joins the stupid deaths of the Darwin awards but he will also live on forever in Club 27 click bait posts.        


David Cameron was Just Kidding About Brexit

Just kidding, eh Boris? You should have seen Nigel's face. He's still not in power.

As like after bad sex or a meal that didn't taste like it should have but you were really in the mood for it the people that voted for the UK to leave the EU are justifying their choices. "see the world didn't end" these are the same people that can't remember what they did last week and would rather not think about future things because it hurts their heads.
Scotland will vote for independence and Northern Ireland will go back to exporting bombs because no more EU money is coming in. Hey Game of Thrones is shot here so Old Knudsen isn't inclined to join up again to stop them from their bombing. You make Jon Snow go to Slovakia to film, you will pay.    

 Thomas Mair wasn't able to vote after he killed MP Jo Cox but wants to thank everyone for making this a great day for him and for England.

The Leave campaign somehow thought that others thought things would be different the next day and that the shit would hit the fan and we'd have Armageddon the day after the vote .... things happen over time you knobs. We'll still be in the EU for the next 2 years ffs.

All that happened was the pound hit its lowest figure since 1985 .... when we were in recession. Forms for Irish passports flew out faster than new iPhones from Post Offices. Travel agents stopped their foreign money services as everyone was panic buying due to holidays costing more. David Cameron sort of resigned and Boris Johnson licked his lips at the thought of becoming the next Prime Minister.

The dreaded article 50 was mentioned. That is the button that gets pushed to proceed with EU divorce proceeding.  OK I bet there are some fuck wits out there that think it's an actual button.

Fringe MP Nigel Farage says that white British people have nothing to fear.

Nigel Farage was on the TV and was pinned down like Jesus on a cross. The Leave Campaign told the lie that the UK paid the EU £350m a week. They kept saying that all that money could pay for hospitals, Farage said he didn't promise anything and it was the vague "Leave Campaign" that said that.

Being fooled like that is justification enough to slap a Brexiter. You lie with dogs expect to wake with fleas.

No one demanded this vote and the win margin was slight so this isn't over yet. A petition for a new referendum got enough votes to be considered in the House of Commons in just a few hours. Right minded people .... sensible people want to be in the EU.
It's like when Scotland voted NO for Independence, those that voted no said to themselves, 'what the fuck was I thinking?'

Old Knudsen is sad, the kind of sad when the ghey marriage vote loses in Northern Ireland or when the DUP keep getting re-elected. It picks him up a little that Northern Ireland and Scotland voted to stay in the EU, that's something.  I did tell you that people tend not to do the right thing but rather on how they feel emotionally. 

There is a long game being played here, possibly to get bills that the EU would block passed and cleared without any attention drawn to them. The British government gets to rewrite tons of laws to help the Tories privatize the NHS and to detain people without justice getting in the way.  Dodgy trade deals will get signed and we'll take our cuntry back ... well the Tories will.
The National Security Council will have to rewrite their intelligence gathering protocols as the French and the Germans no longer have to share info on who just returned from Syria. Expect our laws to be more US like from now on.      

Enough with the protest voting. The people you think are your new saviors are just the same as the rest if not worse and vastly more unqualified. Pretend yer adults for once. 

Friday, 24 June 2016

Somme Fun For All The Family

The battle of the Somme was one of the most deadliest of WWI. It took so many young men from the north of Ireland (not yet Northern Ireland) that when WWII came along the memory of the slaughter was still fresh enough that no one rushed to join up. Even today the brave lads of Ulster would rather join criminal gangs than serve in the military or police.   

For 7 days the allies bombarded the German lines before sending the first troops over on 1st July 1916. This tactic of bombardment had never been tried before. The Germans were safe deep in their trenches and sat out the bombing, these battle hardened Krauts had good defenses and plenty of heavy machine guns and no doubt smelled like cabbage and strong beer.

I'm hit but don't want to get hurt falling.

The British, Irish, Canadian, South African and Indian troops were ill equipped and poorly trained but the generals were confident. On the first day 19, 240 British soldiers were killed. At the southern part of the Somme the Germans lost 6,000 men to the French and even lost some ground but a counter attack regained that back.

The fighting went on for five months.  In Belfast last weekend there was a commemoration of the Somme. In Northern Ireland Loyalists forget that everyone here (their ancestors) were Irish not British and only remember the soldiers of the UVF that fought at the Somme.

Every celebration in Northern Ireland sounds the same, flute bands full of fat fucks in pseudo military costumes marching with banners. They all look miserable and shoot dirty looks about. The Catholic ones wear those aviator sun glasses that were popular because of Top Gun cos they think it makes them look .... well I don't know what they think, they all look like twats.  

No spider man inflatables no happy smiling faces. This was a commemoration not a celebration though it was just as happy as a celebration over here .... we don't do happy.

Loads of fat bodies that you wouldn't have seen in 1916 but the poor marching abilities were the same as it was recorded that the Irish troops (UVF) were not natural soldiers. So many fake rifles, the Irish down south did all this for the Easter rising, people here just like to play dress up.

Of course I doubt that most of these cunts ever served, their cap badges look to be of the Royal Irish Rifles that went on to be the Royal Ulster Rifles in WWII. A brave and proud regiment that went on to Palestine and Korea. They became one of the first airborne regiments before all that became obsolete.   

    Help me I'm a Protestant and I've fallen down a Fenian hole. 

Like the 2nd Amendment row in the US no right minded vet wants a load of civvies waving assault rifles around. I doubt those from WWI would want a load of civvies playing dress up. Remember them for what happened, don't go making it look gallant and shit, the volunteers didn't have a clue what they were getting into and war is fucken stupid, especially WWI which was a royal family feud.

The way Generals fight wars is usually how the last war was fought so there were still tales of valiant charges against ill equipped savages. The thought was that a bombardment and men with rifles could easily do the job. They didn't realise that the Germans had put some thought into it and saw the future of war as a few men shooting out hundreds of bullets per minute. 

 Exactly what it was like. mowed grass no barbed wire and no bomb craters full of water for soldiers to drown in.

General Kitchener’s "Pal’s battalions" were hit hard. Buddies had joined up together to fight and whole villages often lost all their young men. Recruitment drives were aimed at pals because it encouraged more to enlist, peer pressure along with having a jolly good adventure. 

  Bet he has neck tattoos too.

From German accounts they saw 10 -20 men of the 36th Ulster division charging their position. Being artillery they didn't have side arms and would have had to surrender when the tommies got to them. Luckily the British started to bomb the German trenches but being British they fucked it up and friendly fired their own men saving the Germans from capture. 

The Ulster Division lost more than half its men but you'd think it was only them at the Somme the way Loyalists get on.
I understand historical reenactments like the US civil war ones and even the battle of Hastings etc but is the battle of the Somme really fit family entertainment? I suppose it's like having a center to make money on the Titanic sinking. 1,517 people drown when the Titantic sank ..... lol, that's £17.50 per adult please.
This is Somme fun. 

A million men wounded or killed but hey lets have Loyalists bands marching and fat cunts running about wearing sashes shouting beng beng ..... the Belfast accent.   

I think it's too soon. Yeah it was 4 generations ago but those running across a field and playing dead represent your great grandfathers, grandfathers and great uncles, they were your kin and now you are cheering as they drop down dead. In reality they may be ripped apart by shrapnel, cut down by machine gun fire or just flop down dead with some lucky shot. Maybe they fell into a crater and drown or had an artery nicked and died at a makeshift field hospital.  

You can watch Black Adder or Atonement for entertainment but don't bring your kids to this sort of shite. Look little Timmy that's how your 21 year-old great great uncle died lol! ..... lest we forget. 


Thursday, 23 June 2016

Robot Overlords Have Appeared

We haven't had an end of the werld scare recently. No meteors almost never coming anywhere close to us and no zombie virus .... aye the US has the Zika virus but aren't Americans a load of pin heads anyways?

It didn't happen in Sillycon valley where they make tits and computer chips, it happened in Perm .... where? Perm, a city in butt fuck Russia.

Very lameski

Down town traffic got a taste of the future .... evil robot overlords intent on the destruction of mankind, and weemen too.

It was a self learning robot that wandered off for 45 minutes from its testing area and made the ground tremble with its awesomeness.

Well until its battery died.

A few drunk (they are always drunk) Russians did a double take then said whateverski. The future robot overlords appeared to the werld and they were found lacking.

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

Brexit Or Remain?

Nigel Farage who is not a misogynistic bigot hit back at Conservative MP Baroness Warsi who left the Brexit campaign to leave the EU as she was sick of the "hate and xenophobia".

Things look different when you are ethnic, you see the racism more clearly. Did white people in the 80's mind blackface? I bet the black people did.  

Farage said he loves darkies and posted a picture of himself enjoying a beer with some of his wog friends. "My friends are all Muslim though probably not all terrorists so I'll enjoy this beer for them as they hang out on my lawn" said Farage on his Twatter account.

The sexy Baroness who could join Old Knudsen's remain in bed campaign any day said, "Unfortunately what we are seeing as a vision for Britain are lies and xenophobic campaigning. Why is it people like me, who are instinctively Eurosceptic, are feeling they need to leave Leave? ... Because day after day, what are we hearing? The refugees are coming, the rapists are coming, the Turks are coming"

The only hate in Old Knudsen's campaign will be a bit of hate fucking. All definitely probably most completely consensual.

Some have said that the people behind Farage are not his friends and it's really the racist advert that Ukip took out. Get off his fucken back yer just being politically correct libtards, he's just a bloke's bloke that tells it like it is like Trump, Hitler and Jimmy Savile.

For some reason it seems to be right wing, bigoted racist types that support Brexit, these are the same people that think Ukip present British values and by that they mean what is best for white British males. Not big thinkers and yet they are allowed to vote on important matters. Trump voters would vote for Brexit.

The KKK are attracted to Trump's campaign just the same way as BNP and Britain First supporters are attracted to Ukip. If disillusioned with the Conservatives they vote for the next different right wing group they can. Not a coincidence. 

If you appealed to Brexit voters on the grounds that leaving the EU would fuck up the lives of thousands of people they would still vote out because it's a matter of 'I've got mine so everyone else that isn't me can fuck off' yeah doing the right thing doesn't apply to these people because they thrive on negative feelings like 'I don't like' or 'look at how bad this has gotten' rather than the facts.

Since the 70's the UK has flourished under EU membership even with the NHS cuts and austerity that the Tories keep inflicting. People keep confusing bad Tory management with the EU.   

Last words from Warsi "BNP, Le Pen, Donald Trump, Geert Wilders, Farage, Gove. I wouldn’t get on a night bus with them, would you?"


Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Bad Guys Are Us

Old Knudsen has a lot to say and often he just forgets things until someone else says it then he gets to think about it more all over again.
I watched this clip online last week that had a CIA chick talking about terrorism. She said that if she has learned one thing it's that everyone believes they are the good guys.

It's a matter of perspective. One man's hero is another man's freedom fighter. Che Guevara was a cold blooded executioner but it doesn't stop students from wearing the t-shirts. Nelson Mandela was in prison for plotting to blow people up. Remember those reports of burning tyres around people's necks? That was the ANC who had Gaddafi as one of its big donors. 
Mandela never renounced violence and said it was some times the only way but if you look him up online you'll read about how he bravely stood up to the cruel government, not about killing women and children.   

The British army in Northern Ireland were the good guys ..... well not really but neither were the IRA. When I patrolled the streets with my Stars Wars gun (as seen in the photo) I was fighting against terrorists that blew up innocent people. What separated us soldiers from the terrorists is that we don't wake up and think about blowing up a busy unsuspecting street or pub yet many see us as the oppressor and we were to a point.

Many of the British army's actions weren't just, we often became as bad as the terrorists we fought. Being the government we were the good guys. Like the CIA chick says, everyone believes they are the good guys, even the Nazis thought that God was on their side.

She said if you look at movies like the Hunger games, Independence day and Star Wars you'll see a small group of plucky rebels fighting against a superior force doing whatever it takes to win. Some Al-Qaeda guy said that they are the rebels, the heroes, they are Han and Luke. 

It's true, look at Red Dawn, 300 and the Terminator movies to name just a few more. TV shows like Falling Skies, V and Firefly. They sometimes talk about how righteous they are and how God is with them as they fight for freedom against evil facing overwhelming odds. 

Heroes don't set the fire then rush in to the building to save people.

To the Iraqis that were invaded by the US after 9/11 for no reason at all the US is the bad guy, the invading force. 
It has gotten to the point that the US has fucked up their cuntry so much now that they fear the US will leave them to it like they did in 1991 which resulted in executions so now they are enlisting the help of the Iranians. The ancient enemy of the Americans .... who are of course allies with the Russians. 

Imagine not trusting the Americans so much that their former enemy in war the Iranians sound good. If only the Native Americans knew the Iranians formerly known as Persians.       

To Americans the US didn't invade anyone, they are fighting the enemy there so they don't have to fight them on the US. 
Yeah that is a load of bullshit. Iraq and Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11 and didn't have weapons of mass destruction but we went in anyways because we're good and just. That right there made 10 times the amount of enemies we had. Invading Iraq and Afghanistan made generations of enemies for us to fight. 

The drone strikes makes enemies where there weren't any before too. If you kill a child's family in collateral damage because a suspect (who had not committed any acts of terrorism) stopped by to see his cousin that owed him a couple of goats then that child will grow up hating whoever sent that drone over. 

What we are told doesn't match up to reality.

In reality you aren't really innocent until found guilty. If Edward Snowden returned to the US he'd spend the rest of his life in prison, not for treason but because he showed the American people the government was illegally spying upon them and he broke his employment contract. Do the majority of Americans support him? no, because they somehow think the government are still the good guys because hey he's in Russia now and it's 'we the people.'    

The government represents us so they have to be the good guys huh, we couldn't be the bad guys, that's them not us.

Invading Iraq and Afghanistan to attack terrorists was plain stupid, they aren't a standing army. Terrorists thrive by blending in with the people. They use innocents as shields and look just like the average citizen. The US under Bush said whatever government shielded terrorists would be attacked, it didn't matter what the government said in response, if they didn't have nukes they were a weak enough target for the US to invade.

I didn't see them invading Pakistan did you? That's where Osama was found living and that is where Al-Qaeda have free reign .... but Pakistan has nukes. Makes you think there might be other motives and that the US is quite the bully. 
The nerve of Americans and even Prince Charles comparing Putin to Hitler because of Ukraine. He didn't do anything the US and its allies hadn't done.

 Real men don't pick flowers they pick body bags.

It takes more courage to talk peace than to launch drones and tactical units. Peace with terrorists only comes with dialogue because you can't kill ideologies. Peace with the IRA and the ANC came with dialogue, sure some people you can't talk peace with but there are always ones that will as long as you and they are open to compromise and to listen. 

While there are foreign boots on the ground there will never be peace, there will be new enemies springing up to replace those worn down. Just don't kid yourself that you are the righteous good guy, that disingenuous attitude will never achieve peace anywhere.      


Monday, 20 June 2016

Bears Hibernate, Bears Arms And Shit In The Woods

Why this picture? .... Reasons, that's why. 

Old Knudsen is in therapy, you all know this and he isn't ashamed of it. His issues have issues yet still he is the most stable and reliable person he knows. He has never ratted me out to the police and he knows where all the bodies are buried .... that's obviously a metaphor as why would he bury bodies unless he was an undertaker and we all know that no one would trust him to be alone with a dead loved one. He likes it when they lie still.

Actually not all the bodies were buried if there were any but lets not get caught up with details. Many folk that would laugh at someone being in therapy tend to usually be the ones in most need of it and never grow as a person or learns and evolves. Old Knudsen is open to learning but his therapist tells him that his werld view isn't 100% right. 
I dunno maybe it's not 98% and only 95% of people in the werld that are fucken lying two faced cunts.         

Do we still hate Muslims? I'm lost, there we were happily hating Muslims for 9/11 and for just being different and foreign and becoming refugees when we bombed them when all of a sudden.

Muhammad Ali died. He was the greatest ..... just like Old Knudsen is the greatest blogger and Trump is the greatest non-loser .... because we say so.

Ali was tall and beautiful, he moved like a buttercup and stung like lemon on a paper cut. Movies and songs were written about him for fucks sake. Sure he had slightly racist views against white people but only American white people, oh those blue eyed devils. He was intelligent even if he did not never use grammar correctly but who the fuck ever does do? 

He was a popular Muslim (which is unusual) but he was an American and mainly successful so who he prayed to didn't matter. He wasn't the same since 2014 when Old Knudsen knocked him from his chair to become the greatest fighter in the werld but he had it coming.

Ali was also a draft dodger. While the Vietnam war was an anti-commie police action rather than a war and drafting people to fight in it wasn't right I dislike draft dodgers as so many others have gone over and fought with little or no choice and died or left some of themselves behind. They served their cuntry, they walked the walk.

NRA poster boy Ted Nugent didn't wash for weeks, got stoned and shit himself to get out of serving because going to war got in the way of his life. Donald Trump was a popular athlete at college yet a bone spur in his foot prevented him from serving. Dick Cheney, Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Clinton and John Wayne were all draft dodgers either using college, alleged family hardships or work as an excuse but some are liked more than others.

It's how they made/make us feel or the happy memories we have of them. Errol Flynn is remembered as a bit of a cad, maybe a ghey pedo if you believe the rumours and he is remembered as someone that won WWII on the screen (like John Wayne) but never served. Flynn actually tried to enlist quite a few times after becoming a US citizen in 1942 but a heart murmur prevented him. The studios kept that quiet as he had a rep as a strong athletic type to uphold.  
Seen here with David Niven who was a lieutenant-colonel and was at D-day as a Commando though before that he tried to get out of the military to star in a movie. He starred in one of Old Knudsen's favourites 'A Matter of Life and Death' and served until 1945. 

So do we like draft dodgers now? Ali first said "why me?" before coming up with an anti-war excuse that people loved. Maybe his honesty is why we like him more than the others. What if the soldiers on D-day decided they had nothing against the Germans? .... so many double standards.

The idiot laws preventing transgender people from using their proper restrooms had Christians belittling others for being different. I wear a cape, doesn't make me Superman heh heh .... no it makes you a cape wearing douche bag.
I wouldn't want to share a restroom with Caitlyn Jenner only because he/she is an attention hoor and would probably have cameras in their showing how he/she can stand and use his dick but prefers to sit and pee or some such shite. "Ich bin ein sitzpinkler."

So are we anti-ghey too?  

I'm still boycotting Israel for bombing Palestine, I'm still boycotting Palestine for supporting Hamas, I'm still boycotting China for eating dogs, I'm still boycotting South Africa until they free Nelson Mandela and I've cut Hillary off for sex until she stops promoting fracking, just hand jobs and anal until she cums around  .... I've also signed all the petitions and FB flagged my account for suspicious activity for changing my profile pic too often.   

OMG it pains me that the media doesn't spell it out what I should be thinking.

After the Orlando shooting we should.... as in the US should be thinking of changing their ways. Gheys, transgenders and those that generally just mince around are just people and should be treated with respect until they do something like beat women and shoot 50 people to death or something.

Transgenders, gheys, Muslims and brown foreigners in general that get called illegal or migrant with a sneer are not the monsters. If a person that happens to be in that group does something horrible then that doesn't mean the whole lot are horrible.

Just like if 100 Priests molest children (as they tend to do) or a Christian shoots up an abortion clinic that doesn't make all priests and other Christians douche bags too.

The real monsters are those that looked at the Sandy Hook shooting and dismissed the slaughter in favour of THEIR rights to own guns, not just a pump action shotgun or a Glock for home defense but military grade semi auto rifles. (known as assault rifles to liberals) 

I will keep you and my family safe in case some Arabs come into the Wal-Mart in Hemet and try to kill us in the name of Allen ... USA fuck yeah!

Will your fat ass overthrow the government? Can a load of civvies outgun highly trained military personnel? The Military have blokes that have made a career out of war, they have a command structure, satellite communications, tanks, helicopters and drones but yer civvie ass that has watched a few movies thinks you can take them on.

For self defense: Do you always carry and have yer AR-15 locked and loaded? Do you take it to Wal-Mart? ... to the church? .... out to dinner? When on duty a soldier goes everywhere with his weapon. I'm sure the government will let you know when it's time to revolt or when a good guy with a gun needs to stop a bad guy with a gun.
At the pulse nightclub the gunman was stopped by several good guys known as cops. Should people go to  nightclubs with guns? ..... that's a rhetorical question as how idiotic would that be?

If you say that if more people were armed then there would be less gun crime you need to get yer water tested for lead. In the countries with less guns there is less gun violence than when they had guns ... that is not a coincidence, it's a FACT. 

In WWII and Nam there was always the 10 - 15% of men that hesitated to return fire when fired upon. That was people trained and in uniform mentally prepared for an attack, not someone trying to decide what washing up liquid to buy while yelling at their kid to stop running in the aisles.

The real monsters are the kind of people who tell a woman that her 7 year-old daughter who was gunned done at school didn't exist because it's all an Obama plot to take yer guns or a government plot to destroy the 2nd amendment.    

People should be allowed to own guns, yeah like a rifle or revolver but only with the correct training and background check. It won't stop all gun crime but it's better than doing nothing because doing nothing and arguing your 2nd amendment rights just means yer a cunt that won't compromise.
How insecure do you have to be to insist on having a semiautomatic weapon? You need therapy for fucks sake and find a set of balls and a spine while yer at it. The chances are that a gun will be taken out of yer untrained shaking hands and used against you anyways.

Go take some classes and learn how to take away someone's gun and where to hit people to put them down cos then you'll have confidence instead of gun courage bought and paid for in the blood of the innocent who had rights too, the right to live being one that was revoked by a fucktard using another right.

The home grown terrorists and spree shooters love the 2nd amendment, well done you patriot, you are destroying your own cuntry. 

Thursday, 16 June 2016

Jonathan King Wants You To Brexit

Jonathan King the singer-songwriter, producer, music entrepreneur, and former TV and radio presenter has joined the Brexit campaign to ensure that you the British public do the right thing and vote to leave the EU.

King had a global hit song Everyone's gone to the moon in 1965 and then enjoyed success as a presenter of British television programmes. 
The convicted pedophile is furious at EU regulation in regards to buggering underage boys that will cum into effect in 2020. Several other high wranking politicians joined the Brexit campaign for this reason but say it's really to make Britain great again. 

"The EU regulations will say 'no hair, don't go there' but myself and many others want to go there, it's a disgrace, British paedos don't need micro managing from Brussels!" Fumed King.   

 They probably love it!

Nigel Farage welcomed King aboard the Brexit boat. "Buggering young boys in non-consensual sex was fine in the 80's, what you have here is political correctness gone mad, I blame the foreigners ... especially the darkies and the New World Order of the Illuminati EU." 

Charles Fort and his partner Kate Henshaw are voting for the UK to leave the EU. "We aren't racist, we just ate foreigners and Muslims and believe in Briton ruling the waves and need to leave the EU because it's in control of everything innit?" 

Sure the UK was known as the sick man of Europe with constant strikes and a failing economy until it joined the EU and became the 5th largest economy in Europe but who remembers the 70's huh?

NHS closures .... bloody EU. Austerity measures .... bloody EU. Sugar tax .... bloody EU .... no wait, that's the Tories, the people who will benefit from leaving the EU. What kind of moron votes them into power and then votes for them to have more power?   

EU regulation is often cited as a reason to leave the EU. If it was up to the British government we've have more additives in our food, more pesticides on our crops and cheap inferior goods with standards being pretty low.
Our human rights would be more in line with the US as that is the way British law seems to be going if you look at immigration policy for non-EU members. We have more human rights and worker's right thanks to the EU.
All those disabled and old people the Tories wanted to cut benefits on would have no recourse if we left the EU but hey what do I know? Maybe it makes sense for an island nation to cut itself off from one of its major trading partners maybe I'm just too sane and rational to see the bigger picture.

If you are mildly racist and bigoted towards foreigners in general and want to cut off your nose to spite your face then vote to leave the EU. Our national security which is in direct connection with our economy is dependent on having close global ties .... not my words but the mission statement of the National Security Council formed in 2010 to combat domestic and international terrorism.   


Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Human Pop Up Ads

The thing I've grown to hate are human pop up adds in malls. You walk through a mall on yer way to a specific shop but in the way there are kiosks or just a table with a billboard and pacing around it are usually two bored yet eager sales people.

It reminds me of Botanic ave in Belfast back in the day when you had to run the gauntlet of day drinkers all asking, "ya got 20p mister?" you'd become more aware like Jason Bourne with senses heightened and maybe cross the street several times if you couldn't be arsed telling them to fuck off.

A mall should be a safe place, you go to the shop and buy something, you don't go to fight off sales people trying to sell you things you didn't even intend on getting.

Excuse me sir would you like to save £50 on your electrical bill? 

Do you mind looking stupid? No, I don't want to save money on my electric bill, I want to pay the full whack as it makes me hard, that and cutting hookers are the only things that do it for me since the war. 

We're young Americans on a mission to save your soul, would you like to hear about the Lord you heathen Brit? 
Our Lord is better, listen to us. It says so right here so it must be true. Don't think, the Devil wants you to think for yourself, join us.
Old Knudsen HATES people phoning him up trying to sell him something, he HATES people knocking his door trying to sell him something, he HATES being stopped in the street by people trying to sell him something. 
What do you know about my heating costs? I will find you and kill you unless you get a proper job. 
I have the Internet. If I wanted to watch shite TV shows and maybe one decent one I'd sign up for Sky television but I don't like sports, soaps and reality shows so fuck off! 

Old Knudsen's ad block plus is a short swift karate chop in the air and a "no thanks" before they even finish. I don't slow down I keep walking but it annoys the fuck out of me. I didn't even make eye contact for fucks sake.

It usually isn't religious people as Jehovah's Witnesses just stand in the street now unless you engage them. The Mormons will try it on though. It's utility companies, TV satellite and cable companies, mobile phone companies and numerous charities. 

You go out to buy some fat balls and those self adhesive plastic sticky hooks and someone asks you about changing cell phone providers, what the holy fuck? Did I look like I wanted to complicate my life today? 

No I don't want to sample yer pretzels I doubt you've even washed yer hands and who the fuck else has breathed over them. Old Knudsen doesn't touch hand rails or the rubber rail on escalators without using his cuff over his hand but you want to offer him Ebola food?     

Then there are the charities. It you want to support cancer in children which is a sick fucken idea cos kids shouldn't be given cancer or guide dogs for the blind (they get everything) or adopting some dog you'll never see if it even exists then give them yer loose change. 

They have collection buckets but instead of giving them some money and being done they talk to you and try to get you to £3 a month forever from yer bank account. 

I like supporting Alzheimer charities and the like cos at least 5 of Old Knudsen's family have had or have it but do I want to support it until I die? I might start liking breast cancer or clean drinking water in the future who knows? Trends change and fuck my crazy family.

Alzheimer's is caused by malicious fairies that want to trap you in the fairy realm, how can giving them £3 a month stop it? Rowan trees in yer garden and iron stops fairies, everyone knows this. If yer relative has Alzheimer's just give them a knife made of iron and they'll be protected .... don't say I said to do this as I have numerous lawsuits already against me for the Energenup health smoothies and don't need yer slander. 

For Americans you should get yer relative a gun with bullets coated in salt. Just because you can't see the fairies it doesn't mean they aren't there so let them fucken shoot and quit yer judging. 

Would these charities not make more in a day by rattling their buckets? I often give them money out of guilt and don't really want to take their pens or wristbands as that defeats the purpose. I don't even want a sticker as my philanthropy is a personal things not a one-upmanship thing to show I'm morally better than you without yer sticker.    

Aye £3 forever is no doubt better than a few hundred a day, even if only a few agree. Then the charity CEO's can get better cars and bigger houses. 

You know what would make me give more to charity? Aye you've guessed it, presentation. I would so wear her daffodilo.