Showing posts with label survival smarts.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label survival smarts.. Show all posts

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

How To Read People


Before I had covered how to survive a terrorist attack, that was after the Paris attack. That told you to react but not like a spaz. Hide or stay still as we predators are attracted by movement.

I also told you that the best defense is to avoid trouble in the first place and that by reading the situation you can see if there is something out of place and thus mentally prepare you to act rather than to freeze like a deer in the head lights. 

During my time oppressing savages for crown and cuntry we'd have to do foot patrols. It was often dark or we'd approach the person from a distance not able to see their faces. Faces can lie if they are trying to look normal, sure you can't hide the wild eyes, shallow breathing and sweating but from a distance all you have to go on is below the neck.

 There is no excuse for the pants though.

The way a person is dressed often gives away their intent. Why do you think those ghetto rats wear clothes two sizes too big?  Aye sure they all have body issues and barf up their bucket of Popeye's chicken after they eat it.

You can hide things in baggy clothes. You can't hide yer love handles but you can hide yer 9 mil gat doon yer arse crack. Or yer bomb vest under yer puffer jacket.

Like all those poker films, even street hoods have tells. How often do you touch yer phone or yer wallet in yer pocket? Yer checking it's still there but that checking can become a reassurance thing if you are stressed. The bad guy will keep patting his hidden weapon which is why you always watch the hands.

Those cowboy movies have the gunslinger looking at the other guy's eyes to tell when he is going to draw ... that would be just a movie and used for dramatic effect. If the guy goes dead eyed he'd have drawn and shot by the time our hero registered it. Watch the hands, see if they are empty and you can tell so much from gestures as to whether or not this person is aggressive or submissive.

The reason we shake hands to to show there is no weapon in our sword hand (usually the right hand) 


Unless you spend years immersed in another culture you won't fully understand it. Human nature is universal though so it doesn't matter if they have some strange ways.
People are driven by the same things, power, sex, money and sausage rolls. We all have that freeze, fight or flight instinct. The guy approached by the foot patrol does he freeze for a second before continuing? He's decided to fight, or bluff his way through. 

When standing in Walmart and some mouth breather stands too close to you a lot of people will inch away, that is the civilized version of the flight response or you freeze and hold yer breath and hope they go.

People are naturally lazy, predictable creatures of habit. In survival situations you'd always take the path of least resistance as to not use up energy. People buy the same stuff, talk to the same people and go to the same places, even when they try to be random there is often a pattern to it.  Rock paper scissors is a good example of people trying to be random.   

You hear men lament on how they don't understand women or women go on about some man that didn't do what normal people should have done ... they just aren't seeing the pattern or don't have enough insight or information to be able to read it.

A logical person may not have enough empathy to see why an emotional person did this or that and vice versa. 

Many actions can be fueled by past experiences and issues. Jenny was rude and off putting to Jack for no reason .... Jenny didn't realise that it was because a guy with dark hair and a leather jacket broke her heart at the age of 19 and that subconsciously Jack reminded her of him due to his appearance ....  also Jenny was a bit of a cunt anyways.

 Feet firmly planted, hands on hips to make himself seem larger ...  aye, yer about to be shot.

Most of human communication is non-verbal, you can get body language cues without having to know the reason but once you get the cue then look for other things to back up whatever you suspect. Folded arms can mean they are defensive/adversarial or are submissive and are trying to make themselves a small target or maybe it's just fucken nipply out.
Leaning can mean not interested, legs folded can mean relaxed, feet under your chair can mean submissive or respectful, the body language needs to be read along with the situation. At a Doctor's waiting area you expect relaxed (if they have all day) or agitated people especially when the Doctor is running behind.

Groups of people too, who is standing closely to whom and is it within arms reach? (intimate/comfortable range) or at arms length which is normal everyday social range or are they moving away every time a person approaches? Who is dominant and who moves to the back and tries to look small?

You may not get all the answers when reading people but if you keep at it you may get spookily good at it. You can go up to a group of people and ask, "are you dominant?" or "so, you two are a an intimate couple right?" .... but I'd not advise it as you may be telling them something they didn't want others to know.

 

What Old Knudsen calls people that walk with earbuds in or walk while looking at their phones .... victims.

Most people don't pay attention to what is going on around them, most people don't even look up at the sky  for fucks sake.

Body language cues can tell a person engrossed in what they are doing to someone pretending to be engrossed. When you multitask you have to keep going back to the task and may do it slower or you may do it faster to make up for not paying attention. A person fixed on doing a task will usually lose all sense of awareness to their environment.

You can tell who is watching you while pretending to talk into their phone, their conversation isn't fluid and maybe they have to think about what to say, their attention is divided. You can either do one thing well or two things badly. 

Two types of people that are aware of their environment. law enforcement/security etc and the bad guys. People turning round to see who is behind them isn't normal civvy behaviour and so they can stand out like that.

Of course once a cop sees something they may become too focused and thus lose situational awareness just like that.
I saw a movie in which a house was being staked out, they could tell something was up whenever a guy came outside his head would do a sweep of the perimeter ... he had the training. 

There is no reason that once you complete your daily tasks that you do a 360 look at yer environment. Continue to do that everywhere. A purse snatcher is less likely to go for someone who seems aware of their surroundings and just looked round at them while they were walking down the street.

Fantasize about Old Knudsen in the shower for fucks sake. 

Any other anomalies than just a group of Middle eastern men should be observed and your concerns reported. Nervous Middle Eastern men in a huddle at the food court who all keep patting the back packs by their feet and getting silent when someone passes.... Yeah that seems suspicious. 

One quiet man with a back pack can sit by the wall all day and never attract attention though.

It isn't the movies or what some Americans think their live would be like if they could carry a gun. If you have something to report then do it unless yer a rabid racist that watches Fox news as then yer judgement is already proven to be impaired. Otherwise get away ... the more distance the less deadly the attacker can be ... or hide and put a ton of stuff between you and them .... yer last option is to fight which is more likely to get you killed but no action at all can get you killed too.

Don't evacuate as that could have you heading towards the attacker, lock yourself in if possible.

Old Knudsen can use his training to help you survive this life thing but only if you listen. It's also important to listen to yer gut too.... but not about yon Tunnock teacakes  yer fat gut says yes but yer arse says no. 
   

   

     

Saturday, 24 May 2008

Ha Ha Ha Ha Staying Alive Staying Alive In The Ghetto

Listen to me and you might just make it through this post alive.

I've been in some pretty dodgy survival situations in my time, from plane crashes to shipwrecks and one time being lost from my mummy in a supermarket.
I do what I have to do to survive and I have no apologies to make to the families of those I have eaten in order to stay alive, you don't know you weren't there.
When my blood sugar gets low I get grouchy and easily annoyed and then some big fat juicy American says, "you were in special farces you need to go find us some food" that's when I say "look immigrants climbing over the wall" and when he looks I smash his head in, food is all around you if you know where to look.

There is even a McDonald's in the Amazon jungle.

I still have nightmares about the supermarket, I was alone fending for myself living off dry cereal and stealing from the sample tables . I ran wild for what must of been an hour. When my mummy found me I had forgotten how to speak English and I was dehydrated and disorientated, yes I had also found the alcohol section, that was three years ago almost to this day.

Now I have to survive the hood of Crotcharea in Southern Callyfornia one of the most inhospitable places to be if yer white.

The heat of the sun can make her balls drip like a leaky tap (faucet to the Yanks) but whatever you do don't drink that water as I have a weeping sore just under me lad.

Water is yer first concern for survival. Due to the American economy being as weak as its military many people let their lawns die but if you go to a nice street you may just catch a sprinkler that's flooding the gutter or if you look for a hoose that's been painted red by tacky Mexicans you may find a fountain like this.

Warning, the water in Callyfornia is almost undrinkable as in most third world cuntries, there is so much rocket fuel and other chemicals its like gritty poisonous moonshine.

Hydration now and gut rot later, if you have a condom you can fill it up to hold water, I don't carry them as I don't like the reduced feeling and sensitivity when I drink from them.
Another sign of where to find water is to look where the birds and wild postal workers go during dusk and at dawn or you can find a corner on a busy road and there will probably be a Quickie Mart run by a Pakkie from India (that's where they cum from right?)


Be careful cos during times of deliveries you may get caught up in an attack either on the delivery truck or the shop by a troop of baboons. Last year in America alone there were 8,000 TVs stolen by baboons and numerous other crimes but because of Slavery a couple of hundred years ago they are the true victims of crime, really quite sad when you think about it.
Lets make them all happy and send them back , Zimbabwe looks nice this time of year and Mugabe likes to blame whitey too.

Remember folks you can go 3 weeks without food and just 3 days without water, for Americans convert weeks to hours and days to minutes.

The next thing to do is find shelter from the heat, a new sports bar has just opened doon the road don't try McDonald's as those cheap fuckers never run the air.

Food, what is there to eat in the hood? well there is plenty of pussy but be wary as there is a lot of unhealthy pussies in America. I've seen blokes walking about holding onto their cock incase it drops off also they lose weight and waste away through diseased pussy as their clothes look three sizes too big for them. Dogs are plentiful too just follow yer nose and yer bound to find some roadkill.



The flag of Callyfornia has a bear on it, bears are a common threat here so be careful.

Which brings me to another danger in the hood, mobile phones otherwise known as a cell phone, just last year 3000 people were killed by cell phones, weemen driving mini vans while talking on their phones.

America has the worse drivers ever and it isn't illegal to kill pedestrians here, today I saw 3 cars run a red light, the fourth car was an SUV driven by a woman, she stopped half-way in the road and rather than turn right to get out of the way she sat in the middle blocking traffic because she wanted to go straight, the police shook their heads but IHOP was running a special so they didn't hang about, after they gave me a citation for jay-walking they were off, free cuntry my arse you can't even cross the road, anyway cars don't stop at zebra crossings here to let you cross so you might as well cross where you like.

One time in Killamory I was just about to cross at a zebra crossing, I was just off the night shift at the Titty twister social club and was tired. I stood there at the crossing waiting for a car to pass but he was waiting for me to walk across as cars give way to pedestrians, he stuck his head out the window and shouted, "is yer head up yer hole?" I did not have a witty cum back, that is a true story my friends.


This is obviously a gang of Mexican gang bangers.

Other dangers in the hood is getting caught in gang cross fire also getting caught by gang bangers, I suppose they then gang bang you to death as gangs are just so homo erotic something I don't want to find out about but only the police and criminals are allowed to carry guns or else they couldn't do their jobs.

Watch out for pan-handlers some will ask for spare change but due to inflation many will just ask for a dollar, they will call you and run after you to ask you for money.

Many pan-handlers are on the crack or the meths and can be quite crazy with the strength of 10 so its better to out crazy them, do yer crazy eyes and talk about how the next president will either be a woman or a half-cast now that is crazy talk, when they are confused stab them repeatedly in the neck with a pointed stick. Oh and carry a small pointed stick.


Twat or pussy thats yer choice, Cunty McCain will win.

If you ever find lost yerself in the ghetto always head towards greenery, to places where people water and tend their lawns. Beige is the normal colour of Southern Callyfornia and where their is greenery there is watering and there are well off people and you aren't in the ghetto no longer.


Ants? I've seen 'Bugs life' I ain't ascared of ants.

I hope this has been of some help to you, while researching this post I learned from my mistakes. I got gang banged and ate some really minging pussy I did find out that roadkill tastes a lot better than Mexican food and like in rock, paper, scissors a 9 mil gat beats a pointed stick.

Stay safe on those streets people.





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Tuesday, 16 January 2007

On The Roach.


This is Judd Law a soldier and veteran of many a conflict against evil and danger that lurks in bedrooms or back gardens everywhere. he was no stranger to the feel of concrete scraped along his muscular plastic body or a free fall from an upstairs window.
Judd Law is hard but even hard men have their limitations , his was in the form of Grendel a vicious Yorkshire Terrier. Nothing good except the flat cap came out of Yorkshire, Grendel put the terror into terrier, ok I can see they are two different words, if ya came here looking for things like grammar, punctuation and maybe sense well you're shit out of luck, all I have to offer is fisting and goats, I didn't become the #1 must see blog by making sense you know .

Grendel
Evil that can fit into a hand bag.

In an unprovoked attack Grendel savagely chewed at judd's arm, having mistaken this terrier for a bear as the scale thing is all off Judd played dead .
I can only imagine the fear and pain that Judd endured. Grendel being a wee yappy shite of a dog that has no business being alive remembered that he had some nice pissy parts to lick at and some cat shit in the garden to eat and tottered off to do so.
Judd looked at the chewed stump that used to be his hand and sucked it up (shook it off ,Yank speak) he ain't no pussy GI Joe, hes an off brand Action man and proud of it. His marksman days were over, Dr X was bound to sweep to power now unless extreme sports Action man could stop him.
The little boy of the hoose 'Sid' had his friends over one day to have an epic battle in the back garden, Judd being already wounded was killed straight out by a rock being lobed at him, the fighting went on as Judd lay under the Rhododendron bush half buried in soil and forgotten about MIA.
That year we had our annual 2 days of dry semi sunny weather known as summer and Sid's mum decided to tidy up the yard with the hopes of turning lobster red as is the tradition. The mucky half broken action figure ended up at the top of a packed wheelie bin which was left out on the kirb on Wednesday to be collected .
Still with so much to offer Judd was cast aside onto the scrap heap of life.

You may pause here to shed a tear or get back to searching for porn.

Maybe Judd was found by a passer by who likes to roach now and again. Roaching: to go on the scrounge for rubbish to reuse, sell or to have lie in the garden until you either figure out what to do with it, it rots or you throw it out. I am Old Knudsen, I am a roacher, its been 6 hours since I last went roaching. One man's junk is another man's........................................ junk, but could potentially be treasure who knows?

Rehabilitation for a case of such neglect and abuse takes time, a lot of self esteem issues to work through. Almost 2 years later Judd's anger still burns, "how could they do this to me?" he screams before he catches himself and checks his outward emotion, Hasbro would be proud of him.
Even when I used my skill with half bricks on the window's of Sid's hoose his pain and anger never lessened, so I asked him "why the fuck did ya tell me to do it in the first place ya wanker? I almost got caught", he didn't care " shut up old man and fill those bottles with paint and we'll go get their car", like I said, still angry.


Survival smarts.

If ever faced with a growling dog you must stare at it in the eyes to show dominance, then thump it on the nose sharply and insert yer thumb up it's bunghole. The beast may become even more enraged and rip at yer throat, never fear for you have won a moral victory for superiority over the souless creatures like dogs that are sent from the Devil. Once in a place of safety apply pressure to yer wounds and be faster next time.


PAFRAUK

Posable Articulated Figure Rehabilitation Association of the United Kingdom. Founded 23rd June 2005.