Leaked Pics And Blurred Lines

So I was looking at those dodgy stolen pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton and some chicks I've never heard of and I saw this picture of ME! I feel so violated, that picture was for me to wank to as sometimes I can't find a good mirror.

Sure ya expect to see the likes of Jennifer Lawrence topless as she very often doesn't wear much more, woo hoo she has a naked body under her clothes, not as impressive as mine. I thought I'd be safe by getting an expensive £25 phone from Tesco but I guess not. 

As unimpressive as these pics were .... no offense ladies but try to be hotter next time, the thing I did find impressive was in one picture of Kate Upton (not shown cos I'm a gentleman) the amount of semen on her back, did that just cum from one fella? Aye lass, be grateful all that wasn't inside you gang raping yer eggs.

Cutting Off The Left Doesn't Make It Write

Mark Goddard has a reason for looking like this. I don't just mean bad genetics or the fact that he is English, the man is in a world of pain and the NHS won't help.

His left arm has been in pain since a motorcycle accident in 1998 but doctors won't do anything except put him onto 40 pain killers a day. He asked them to cut his left arm off but because he had an in tact, useful hand they refused to.

I can just imagine him talking to himself as he puts his master plan into action, "I'll teach you, like my hand do you? oh boy, I'm crazy .... like a fox, you can't outwit me." I would have used a guillotine for cutting paper. A handy tip for you ... at the end of the world merely unscrew the single screw holding the blade on and you have a handy curved sword.   

So the miserable looking fucker cut his hand off. People in chronic pain can smile for the 5 seconds it takes to take a photo, not that it would be an improvement. C'mon lad, worse things happen at sea.

It was after receiving a letter saying they would not amputate his arm that he started to make the guillotine, maybe he has never used an axe before or maybe he believed how easy it was to cut bits off thanks to the Walking dead and other zombie movies.

He planned it that his wife and son were out and laid plastic and paper doon in the garden. The axe only cut half way through with his hand hanging off backwards and since he wasn't able to reset his machine single handed, he grabbed a scalpel and cut through the rest of the tendons and arteries.

He had a bucket with charcoal burning away and threw his hand onto it so the doctors couldn't sew the hand back on.
After he bandaged his stump he texted his wife to call for an ambulance as the blood still pissed out.

He dragged his machine into the shed and cleaned up his drop sheets a bit. Fair play to the crazy fucker he did sit on the bench outside rather than get blood all over his hoose.

When his wife got there he got her to hose off the patio while they waited for an ambulance. It took a while so he then got her to mow the lawn and put up some shelves ..... hey you can't expect a one handed man to do it.

So now the doctors don't have any reason not to cut off his arm ... or so he thinks. Maybe having a useful hand was merely an excuse for not cutting big bits off yer body off as it's kinda dangerous surgery.

He says he'll cut off more bits of his arm if they don't, how about some psychiatric treatment for the lad. Maybe a chin implant and a hair graft .... the things he does to get out of putting shelves up.

The NHS is full of incompetents and many who just don't care, being in pain is never taken seriously as it's yer word about the level of pain yer in and hey, everyone just wants drugs right?

There are some good people in the NHS but they are fighting against a terrible system and the incompetency of many others.  

Good for him, he may be a crazy fucker but it's a crazy system with crazy standards.

Kris Hallenga has become a spokesperson for breast cancer after being diagnosed with it at the age of 23. When she was 22 she went to her doctor with a large lump in her breast and the doctor said it was hormones, you'll be fine.
After 6 months she still had it and went to a different doctor who said, ach it's probably the pill yer on, go home you'll be fine..... cos that's what doctors do.

She is young and breast cancer in young weemen is not common. It's best to go home and have a cup of tea instead of worrying about tit lumps.

NHS doctors aren't used to thinking outside the box and the last thing they want to do it to raise costs by ordering tests. They don't even weigh you or even take yer blood pressure for fucks sake. The second doctor didn't even re-examine Kris as she had been examined 6 months ago .... huh?????

Kris' mother told her to insist on seeing a consultant and a referral was made for that. By the time all of this took place her breast cancer had spread to her spine.  You can read about her amazing self right here. Kris is now 25 and is living life to the full as you never know how much time you have left or when the drugs will stop working.

It's bad that you have to insist and have to take matters into yer own hands as Mr Goddard did, so to speak.  In the US they would do tons of tests in order to rule things out and it wouldn't takes weeks to get the tests. Of course if you don't have medical insurance or money then yer fucked. The NHS may be crap but it's better than nothing.

If you have to navigate the NHS then here is Old Knudsen's advice.

GP's and other doctors only like things they can see and treat which is why chronic pain and mental illness gets brushed aside and you don't get help. If they can't treat you they may just refer you to someone who can or it's just their way of getting rid of you .... passing the buck.


Be yer own health advocate, if you aren't getting help then insist on it. If you have a lump or strange discharge make sure they do tests. If you aren't happy then see another doctor but demand treatment.

It's in yer best interest to speak up.  Old Knudsen is past caring about the feelings of doctors and surgeons who should know better. If you don't want to do yer job properly then go work at KFC.

When a doctor keeps a stack of blank wills in his briefcase then maybe you should change yer doctor. 

Doctors do not always know what is best for you, they are overworked and underpaid so it is you that must make sure they are doing their jobs. If yer referral is taking too long then check that it was actually sent. If you are told that you are fine but find that hard to believe then don't.

Going into a doctor's office with depression only to be told that you don't have depression is a load of cock.

Doctors do not like people taking time off work and would rather send you back to work even though you'd suffer and get worse. Don't suck it up, don't know yer place. Being a martyr will get you no thanks from anyone .

There will be no statues built to you for going into work and doing yerself more damage and who has time to go to the doctor when there is work to do?   Yer family need you more than yer work colleagues.    

Insist on treatment, be pushy and check up that they are doing their job.


Yer job is to check yer bits and yer tits. Men can get breast cancer too. Any lumps where there shouldn't be lumps, blood coming out where it shouldn't, fever, fatigue, pain, skin or eyes looking jaundiced or skin looking darker, white patches in yer mouth, odd moles or warts, odd weight loss .... if in doubt, get it checked it out.

The sooner the better as catching most health problems early gives you a better chance of being cured.


The NHS isn't free, you pay taxes to support it and so you are the customer. Demand customer satisfaction.  You shouldn't have to threaten legal action or cut bits of yer body off.  
     

Yer Number Is Up

 1

 Tits are great tits are fun if you weren't blessed with having any you've probably got a nice bum. 

Aye, it sorta rhymes. A Sunday post full of naked and half naked adults. A spectacle of voyeuristic titillation on the fringes of decency.
I do it on a Sunday as that is the most hypocritical day of the week as to what is right and acceptable.

2

  Such a serene expression on her face... considering an all. 

People will just say, "ach yer a durty pervert" and I'll say, you don't really like sex do you? is it because you don't 100% feel safe with yer partner? you can't tell them yer feelings, hopes and dreams without fear of being mocked? 

Or is it because you were molested by a Christian when you were a child and told you were sinful and going to Hell?  ..... just askin. 

3

Maybe you've noticed that I've had this blog for seven years and I don't give a shit what you think .... however I would not let any Christians near my kiddies.

4

This lass could be a super hero, shes built for it and has the looks... Vadge gurl!

Is it coincidence that most pedos are Gog botherers? I think that having to make yerself believe something so crazy and outrageous that it really fucks up yer thinking. The fact that so many others believe (or claim to) makes it more acceptable but it really does a number on yer brain's wiring. 

Believe A when you know it isn't possible and that B is really the truth.

5

Ya know what else fucks with yer brain? seeing hot chicks then seeing something that you find less attractive staring into yer very soul. 

6

Old Knudsen applies his CIA training to all his posts, you just don't know it. 

7

Old Knudsen has never liked Sundays, especially Northern Ireland Sundays. It's yer hangover day and everything is closed or opens for a few hours in the afternoon, I just don't like the vibe of it.

8

Well if Old Knudsen can brighten up someone's day, make them think, or make them vomit then good. Art is about invoking emotion.

9 

Remember when Old Knudsen said he didn't give a shit what you thought? well that doesn't stop him from being interested in hearing what you think ... like a shoe looking at a bug, and so he has numbered his pics. If you can be arsed, use the comment box below (even anonymous can comment now) or on Facebook to state any favourites or any that you really hated. Just type the number or numbers if you want, have yer fav number first and then any others you like etc in descending order.

10

Think of it as a survey and you'll be entered into a draw to see who wins my scorn... ach don't bother then but I will be putting numbers on them from now on, just to see wats hat and wats nat. 

This Is Culture

A MILF with a dartboard, I think I'm in love.

It was a dirty week for Pagans and Witches so I'm thinking that all you Christians are feeling a little vulnerable, the temptation to molest children is probably pretty strong within you. Fear not for Old Knudsen is here with his adult Sunday distractions.

There maybe some repeats as I'm going through old folders, clearing out my computer in case the police take it as evidence sometime in the future...... Nipples! 

 Those fucking aliens! them and their breeding experiments to make monkeys look hot. So they gave weemen tits, which are fucking fabulous I must say ..... then they top it off by putting nipples on the end, perfect just improved upon perfection. Lick, flick, suck and only bite with the really bad gurls. 

They totally just had a laugh with useless wee man nipples, whats the point in them? Old Knudsen can barely get half a pint of milk out of his and it's lumpy milk.

Back to tits, Old Knudsen is a big fan, he could and has sat and looked at them all day.

If Old Knudsen had a pair of tits he'd sit in the hoose and play with them all day, what did you say? I'd get bored with them? thats what they said about Old Knudsen's love for mixed pickles and they are still the only source of vegetable on his dinner plate.

Old Knudsen should never have moved back to Northern Ireland, the weemen here are just too brutal on the eyes.

The odd wee Pole isn't too bad though but shes a hag.

I like the feel of boobies,
in or out of the bra,
from hardly there to lots to share,
just ask yer dear ol Ma,
they bounce and jiggle when I make her giggle,
nothing like a laugh when all soapy in the bath.
Technological advances may be nice,
but you can keep yer drones,
you can't shove yer cock and get off,
between 2 iPhones.

A warrior poet Old Knudsen is for sure and that is why I was so harsh with Seamus Heany's work .... fucking amateur.

Some tits, all fake and covered in cake ..... see you next week you pedo Christians.  


 

The Sunday Spank

 

Due to my commitments of unlawfully parading I almost didn't post but then I saw a Christian man of God and the lust for children was dripping from his eyes. I have to post to make those people see that adult weemen are hotter than kids.

This lady looks angry so you'd better make sure you aren't a noob in the sack. She looks like the kind of woman who flicks yer balls and calls you bitch ..... ya know like yer Ma.

I thought that this was an interesting print she had on her wall and oh THOSE NIPPLES!!!

"Never mind tits Soren I want to see some muff" ---- says Pastor Kevin from Dartington. No probs Kev except this young lady seems to suffer from muff pattern baldness, hope it doesn't spoil it for you.

Now this isn't something you see everyday .... unless yer Old Knudsen of course, which I don't think you are. 

You don't have to remove yer clothes to have some sexy fun, a doorway will do just fine.

Old Knudsen doesn't like to brag, you know me but this was last night's lucky lass. A rite classy lady who said "excuse me" when she farted, she refused to sleep on the wet patch, which to be honest is the whole bed after Old Knudsen is through. "Wake up lass, it's time to make me a cup of tae before you get the fuck out."

Old Knudsen just made a load of people bend their necks with this pic ... ha ha the power I have over you.

As stated before, Old Knudsen really doesn't like to brag but he will anyway. Me cock is the perfect sex weapon that weemen get turned to jelly, forget how to speak and can't walk for a day or two ..... or maybe it's the drugs I slip em.

Thats yer sexy Sunday over, do not be ashamed of yer bodies .... except Joanne from Cardiff, stop sending me selfies you mis-shapen dog of war.

History For Dummies

Click to read

I don't know why I look at the Protestant Coalition's page oh yeah, it's to laugh at people less fortunate than I.

They have to be a parody group, I mean when you point out that 4000 years is kinda very incorrect they call you brainwashed eejits. Seriously 4000 years? it's common sense to know thats wrong. 

I have no idea where Ulster moron is but the Scoti were indeed an Irish tribe who harassed the Romans, in fact the Romans even gave them the name Scoti and where the people to first record them. Let me know how you could possibly know about them 4000 years ago when the Romans were only in Britain in 43AD. 

Scoti became the name for all Gaels ..... Thats what the Irish and Scottish are, dirty Gauls from Spain and France etc. 

The first inhabitants of Scotland were the Picts, who were said to be dark skinned people with a language with its roots in Sanskrit.  

In the 5th century the Scoti and the Picts stopped fighting each other and started fucking .... No one else wanted Scotland as the Romans who had already built a wall to keep the Picts out had fucked off to Rome. 

4000 fucking years? maybe in some crazy creationist's wet dream.   

They don't look too bright so I suppose you don't get disappointed. Lay off the made up history lessons ya buck eejits.

 

Kate Middleton Gives Birth And Then Gets Her Tits Out

We are a simple people and do not expect too much from the future Queen of England. The royal baby boy will be named Nelson Mandela Harley Yoda Windsor.  Her Kate-ness will be given a 2 week rest period and then William will be back on top to make some more.

I would however request that she get a boob job to avoid anymore future disappointment as Old Knudsen is still being treated for depression thanks to her saggy norks.

Sometimes It's Hard, To Beat A Woman

One thing really pisses Old Knudsen off, pedos, rapists, line jumpers, line dancers, uptight arseholes, children, barking dogs, weemen who show off their tits and then take offense when you look and men who beat weemen.
I'm no Stephen fucking Hawking but I believe that may be more than one thing. This post is about wife beaters.

 Not the t-shirt but rather the cunt who wears them. "STELLA! I'm gonna teach you a lesson bitch."

In general men are usually psychically stronger than weemen, sure there are the exceptions but for the most a man can kick a woman's arse.
Weemen can do Tai-bo or Tai- wha but if a big bloke gets a grip of you or a normal sized man lands a good punch on you then yer training has been for nothing so don't get cocky.

Even as a man Old Knudsen realizes that there maybe someone out there able to beat him in hand to hand combat, nothing in this world except theft and taxes are a cert.   

It takes a big man to hit a woman ... thats sarcasm in case yer thick, as only bully asswipes hit ladies.

The only acceptable time to hit a woman is out of self defense. If some crazy bitch comes at you with a knife or even her fights, lay her out cold .... common sense here people.

Charles Saatchi, a 6 foot 170 LBS bloke grabbed his wive's throat during a discussion they had in a restaurant.
The wife happened to be kitchen goddess Nigella Lawson.

Saatchi said it was a playful light touch but he clearly has her attention.

A distressed Nigella places her hand on his hand to calm him doon but his sandsavage bloody is up, she did a strange thing of kissing him on the cheek and then he stormed off, probably to burn flags or something. 

Old Knudsen's arsehole sense tells him that this incident was not the first time hes laid hands on his wife ..... oh big brave man. The police got involved and Saatchi had to admit assault for which he got a warning.

Old Knudsen has nothing to do with this as we are just 'friends' or rather 'buddies.'

It shows you that rich successful people can still have shitty lives because no matter what, you reap what you sow.
If yer a cunt in life then even as a millionaire yer cuntishness will still be there but you'll have the money to be a cunt in style.

Once a man hits a woman you can never trust him again, like a dog that bites. If you want a macho man or a bad boy then chances are you may get more than you ask for.