Killer Squid Found On Mars.

Its no secret that men go through life wandering what it would feel like to stick their dicks into things, this guy is onto a winner. It may have a beak or vicious razor sharp teeth like a corgi but thats what I was told weemen had when I was a lad and it never stopped me.

The squid, weighing an estimated 990 pounds and about 39 feet long, took two hours to land in Antarctic waters, New Zealand Fisheries Minister Jim Anderton said.
The fishermen were catching Patagonian toothfish, sold under the name Chilean sea bass, south of New Zealand "and the squid was eating a hooked toothfish when it was hauled from the deep."

I warned you before about the Giant squid menace, at least lives weren't lost this time. I like the way they rename the Patagonian toothfish to Chilean sea bass excellent marketing skills.

The giants of Patagonia used to live off the big squid when there were more of them about , and that was before I had a safari service that hunted the giants doon. The Chilean government didn't recognise them as people until 1957, a little like the US black slaves, Native Americans and Australian Aborigines. Too late for them .
Anyone 6 foot and over should be killed anyway, using up too much air and resources. In the ancient world people started out small, the Romans that conquered half of the world were only 3 foot 10 1n, now with the genetically engineered beef pies and fasty food people are getting too big, maybe I should start up my safari business again.

It Be Big Red And Slimy And I Be Afraid Of It. No Thats Only Ken Livingstone.

A team of Japanese Scientists have caught the 30 foot squid that has been sinking local Japanese fishing boats over the last 3 years, it is the first time one has been caught on film never mind actually caught. I feel validated after all of these years hunting the 6 seas for 'Big Red' the 60 foot Giant Squid, that snatched my cabin boy little Micky Dolenz off the deck of my boat with one of his giant testicles, dragging him to the icy depths and doon to Davy Jones' locker room .

Now will ya all believe me? I am e-mailing this post to the Spanish authorities who said that I killed him due to a love triangle between me, little Micky and the cook, well shove that in yer extradition order, now I just have to convince the Canadian police that my mountain guide dirty Pierre was beat to death by a Sasquatch, I saw the whole thing, that's why I was covered in his blood, you believe me right? what kind of monster would lie on Christmas eve?

We need a bigger boat.

The Jap scientists took their pictures and measurements and then continued their hunting of Whales for scientific research, expect Giant Red Squid to turn up on menus beside the Whale and rice all over Japan this week.