Mayday Going Doon

No America is not like in the movies. The cheer leaders are ...................... well lets say different from the way they are portrayed.

I suppose fat cheerleaders in power scooters are not as sexy as the one above. Her name is April which we have now bid a fond farewell too.

Today is Mayday which in ancient times you'd find a pole and suggestively bump and grind up against him while his fellow casual labourers would put money into yer g-string. Or was that just me? For weeks I'd be picking out 20p's from my hole, handy for when you need change at the shop though.

The latest crazy in the UK is extreme Morris dancing.

I can't keep up with the young uns these days with their stick whacking Old Knudsen is one for the quiet life now. I'll light a candle to the Protestant god Balfor the burner of souls .

The month of May named after the Roman Goddess Maia sometimes known as Gaia and is of course a fertility Goddess.

Enjoy the yellow day of Bealltain and have a great harvest this year.


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Mayday Mayday fat Gurl in Dis Dress Going Doon

Fucking Wiccans, a 100 overweight weemen all calling themselves Raven.

Can ya smell that ? its my old Pagan soul stirring. I may have been converted into Christianity by John the Baptist which isn't an accurate name as he wasn't a Baptist he was a Presbyterian just like Jesus.
I still get the urge to fuck goats and eat babies as Pagans do but I control it and leave the babies alone.

No one is ever allowed to leave the SPF, I've said too much.

It used to be held on 15 th May but now it starts on the 30th April with great bonfires that would mark a time of purification and transition, heralding in the season in the hope of a good harvest later in the year.

Religion back then wasn't about buggering young boys and keeping weemen folk doon that may have been an incentive to convert but religion then was life and death and living off the Earth 'Mother Earth' the great Goddess and respecting her as she gave us life.

We'd feast and jump 3 times through the fires to bring prosperity and purify ourselves in the smoke of our charred bodies ah good times.

Dancing around the Maypole on May day or the first of May was to celebrate the great God's penis penetrating the Earth and impregnating the great Goddess so she'd give us a bumper crop and none of this food shortage shite which is where we are all going wrong.

Being a fine Christian man I still honour the old ways but in a church approved way. I'd go to the Killamory strip club and watch a pole dance, the ugly ones are put on during the day but its religion so that's ok, I refuse a lap dance as that's Satan's dance and besides I'm saving meself for a visit to Old Tom's goat farm where I feed the goats then afterwards I'll chain smoke 3 cigarettes while I relax in the hay with Betty my goat friend.
I start to get hungry and I think, 'I could murder a Chinese' but murder is wrong so I beat up a Slav instead and feast on KFC.

Now for the recipe for Russian Tea Balls:

1 cup butter unsalted, softened
2 1/4 cups flour, all-purpose
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups powdered sugar sifted
3/4 cup walnuts chopped
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon of jizz

Who the fuck cares?

Typical Wiccan, " why can't people accept us? love and light, merry meet ,blessed be and may the force be with you."

I hope you all have a happy Beltane and I hope you Wiccans will fuck off and stop giving Pagans a bad name.

Have a fruitful harvest or do it up the bum no babies, whatever just keep sending me the pictures.

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