Celebrities Fear Waking Up Dead

Recently the Reaper has been very busy. Dirtheads world wide mourned the passing of heavy metal legend Lenny (who had just turned 70) but worse was to come. An actual musician and famous person David Bowie was taken from us at the tender age of 69.
Social media was still putting out Bowie memes and talking about him having sex with underage gurls when yet another 69 year-old Englishman died, Alan Rickman.

You may know Rickman from Die Hard, Truly Madly Deeply, Jessie's girl and Harry Plotter. He also did that funny film with Tim Allen in which he played an actor playing a Spock like character ..... Leonard Nimoy died almost a year ago.

I stopped by Bill Cosby's house but fell asleep, when I woke I felt violated and he was gone.  

The universe is giving us clues and connections. I know for a fact the Grim Reaper gets bored and likes to play around. I bet he meant to take three English 69 year-olds just to blow our minds but instead he partied with Lennie for a few days and when he woke Lanny had, had his 70th birthday, I bet he thought he'd beaten the Reaper.
For his crimes against music he was taken anyways.  Seriously, those people that think that Lonny and Bowie would be up in Heaven in some kind of supergroup????? Bowie didn't jam with him when he was alive, why start now?

Tim Curry, an effeminate Englishman aged 69 has told me that he fears that he'll be the next soft Sassenach to die. Don't worry Tim, you'll always be in our hearts and when we think of you  .... well am I the only one in the mood for a curry now?   

He will always be that sweet transvestite to me. 

Charles Dance aged 69 whom I've been told is not at all effeminate .... yeah right. He also fears the icy hand of death. He was recently killed by a midget while he sat on the shitter in Game of thrones, can he top that?

England is full of effeminate blokes .... they are called The English! The Welsh are simpletons but harmless and the Scots and the Northen Irish Scots eat glass for breakfast and fight lions for fun. Liam Neeson in that movie The Grey .... that was based on what he likes to do on his holidays.

I'm seriously regretting having given Jonathan Pryce my e-mail addy. He sends me long rambling e-mails about how he fears that he'll wake up dead someday and then he'll end up on Facebook memes.

Jonathan has recently gotten a Game of thrones gig and has the constant worry of dying on the toilet like Charles Dance did, he'll also be 69 this year.

There is a meme of Rickman saying about how he'd still read Harry Plopper at the age of 80, he never said that. What he probably said was, "it paid the rent .... lol!" 
  

 Some 69 year-olds seem to be death proof.

Death comes for us all eventually though when it does I usually pretend to not be in. I'm no afraid of dying again it's just that a new season of The Walking Dead is going to be on soon and I just bought a jumbo pack of condoms .... it'd be a shame to waste them.

One thing we've learned is that being a celebrity in the 70's and 80's probably gives you cancer, maybe it's all that underage sex, I don't know.

What I do know is that William Shatner, Huge Heffner, Kirk Douglas, Betty White, Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Stan Lee are still alive .... What the fuck? Only the good die young. We still have two more Beatles to get rid of too.

Logging on to the InterWeb everyday is like a game of celebrity Russian Roulette.  

   

Goodbye Bowie

News of the demise of David Bowie started this week off with a big dollop of shite. People questioned the news by going back to bed and trying to wake up properly to the usual news of Trump saying something stupid and death in the Middle East. Sure enough the Saudi-led coalition hit a hospital in Yemen during an airstrike killing 4 but none of that mattered on Monday.

Bowie was a tall skinny English bi-sexual chain smoking alien but he made great music that has touched several generations, somehow he could sing a duet with Bing Crosby or Mick Jagger and still be cool.

His early work was his best, then he made a come back in the 80's and after that well it was decent music though no longer ground breaking or iconic but had a consistency that it didn't suck. He died after the release of his last album Blackstar which will be a massive hit just because he's dead. It's already being touted as a poignant final message and a parting gift to the fans. Would the track Lazarus get any attention had he not died? Probably not, I don't know what his album before that or the one before that was.  

Nirvana covered his Man that sold the world song so that right there should tell you how cool he was considered to be, he did have genius and talent.

The Rolling stones and The Who had their moments but lacked Bowie's cool and didn't age well for teenage rebels. Mick Jagger in neon spandex prancing around and Roger Daltrey with his boring trout fishing.

The Beatles sound dated and middle of the road compared to Bowie, it's difficult to pin down what it was that he had.

     Well hung, snow white tan.

His best songs were catchy and intelligent, even if you didn't know all of the werds you could still sing something, "don't let me hear you say life's taking you no where ... angel" Always singing the angel part in a high pitched voice of course. 

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes .... We could be heroes, just for one day .... Ha ha ha, hee hee hee, I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me. 

Like most singers, he certainly won't be remembered for his acting abilities though labyrinth remains the favourite of many. It was camp and not serious at all and even though it made underage teenage sex/rape kinda appealing it wasn't in a creepy Roman Polanski or Woody Allen way .... yeah, um one for all the family.  

Movie stars, singers, writers .... people who have always been in your life drop like flies as you get older, it's like a part of your own life going when they lose their lives. Do they know the impact they have on people? 

Are they all "whatever, I got well paid for dying as Han Solo, it's just a character in a movie people" or do they actually care that the space smuggler who shot first was yer childhood hero? ... Ach Star Trek was still better. 

Maybe they were a part of your childhood or early adolescence and now they are gone. Like those friends and relatives you hardly ever visit, you like them and are comforted by the fact they are alive and in the world but life always gets in the way of saying hello, then you read the news or get an e-mail and it's too late.  

I'm afraid of Americans, I'm afraid of the werld.

Bowie always looked like a skinny dying fucker, who could have guessed that he really was dying? 69 years old young he lasted longer than some. Cancer is a predator, it even got pot head Bob Marley, so much for natural cures, no one is safe from it. When chain smokers like Bowie, Nimoy or Lemmy get it you may go "meh" and shrug  though Nimoy had quite decades ago. 

Bowie aged well and always had style, you wouldn't catch him in a pair of sweats, short shorts maybe but not sweats.

 

He was never like anyone else and there will probably never be anyone else like him ever again.