Why I Believe

In a werld full of lies and spin, doing the right thing is not always clear cut or black and white.  "When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion." - Abraham Lincoln

We often have to listen to our instincts and inner voice. Old Knudsen's moral compass can be prone to prejudices when faced with stupidity. Stoopid Christians oppressing gheys, stoopid Brexiters believing Nigel Farage, Stoopid weemen that won't send me titty pics .... you get the idea.

Oh yeah, daddy likey long time, send more.

Damn you trolling sex doll for being so hot. I would so buy her second hand.

So anyways, I believe in Captain America rather than in Jesus. I've seen more evidence that Captain America exists than Jesus and why would I listen to someone that A) has never tied shoe laces B) never fought in a war and C) is a fucken hippy. Might as well listen to Jeremy Corbyn except Jesus wasn't too into terrorsists but I bet that the Romans had him on a no fly list cos he was a dodgy Middle Eastern dude.

Captain America isn't 2000 years old, he's old but not that bad. Born 4th July 1918 .... aye no made up date like 25 Dec year what? 4 -6 BC according to "experts" trying to match historical events to mythology.   

Born to Sarah and Joseph Rogers, no rubbish about underage virgin births, his Ma put it about Brooklyn quite a bit. His Da was killed in WWI lest we forget but Old Knudsen gave her a shoulder to cry on and a face to sit on.

Rather than vague 'oh he was a carpenter' or 'maybe he was a Rabbi' we know that Rogers attended George Washington High School and then Auburndale Art School. We know this cos his comics told us so.

We even know that Sarah died from TB when Rogers was 18 .... see? we know so much about Captain America, more than we do about Jesus if he was even real. Old Knudsen gave her the clap, she probably got TB off a dirty door handle or something. 

I'm no even getting into how dreamy the Cap is. He believes in truth, justice and the American way but not in a lame DC Superman way, nah, Jesus is totally DC. Jesus with his umbrella that shoots out poison gas .... what is it with crappy DC villains and their gas?

If only we had taken Sodomy avenue.

If I lived in Gotham I'd always wear a gas mask and only go out at night. Well criminals are bound to werk out that Batman doesn't operate during the day and only a corrupt police force is there to stop em. I'd stay away from alleyways though especially if they are named Crime alley.

Cap totally kills people but they are people that deserve it. He sees nothing wrong with killing the enemy in battle but spying and deception is very wrong.

Yeah ok so maybe he has to work on that. Spying and deception is a valuable part of war. To make the Nazis think there were more troops than there were and to not let them see any weak points in the line a company of artists was set up to drive trucks in circles, make recordings of troop activity on loud speakers and paint different logos on vehicles so the enemy would have false reports of where the Yanks where.

 We are loving it here .... not in Ukraine.

The Russians are masters of deception and pride themselves on how easily they fool the west. Until their troops post selfies and leave their locations on, doh!

To get out of a date with a yucky gurl (boys rule!) he sacrificed himself to save us. His last werds were BRB .... lol! Aye he was ahead of his time.

In the 1940's people kept their promises. MacArthur had a really nice lunch at a TGI Fridays in the Philippines and said, "I'll be back"  well he said "I shall return" then fled from the Japs but he did return when it was safer in 1945. Where is Jesus? Fucken hippies, you can't trust em.

I'm sure everyone in their right mind has given up waiting on that long haired loser. How long do you wait for a date that doesn't turn up? Old Knudsen has waited days before the stalking and the texts begin. Where are you? did you forget? I'll forgive you this time and the last 4 times. I don't take hints very well I bet you regret giving me yer number, well actually I got it from yer friend I friended on FaceBook ..... Who is that in the room with you I can only see shadows from out here. Why do you buy so much bread if you just throw half of it out? .... I see you like chocolate and am on yer period, it tastes funny, I'd see a doctor if I were you.

The police ..... seriously???? I'm starting to doubt yer commitment to this relationship, gotta go fast, I'll see you later, when yer sleeping. 

 With his good friend President Obama.

Captain America did return and helped fight off the aliens, Hydra and the Autumn soldier. He also stood up to Tony Stark when he tried to get everyone to register with Windows 10.

In times of doubt Old Knudsen seeks an answer by asking What Would Cap Do? The way I interpret his werd my answer is usually a jar of raw liver, a sex doll or Scarlett Johansson. 

Or a Scarlett Johansson sex doll. I imagined her being more hairy and darker doonstairs. You'd be shocked at the things I imagine. 

I shall be praying to Cap or maybe I'll send him an e-mail. Unlike Jesus I bet that Cap can use e-mail and types well with those strong manly hands.     

 

Yer Arse Is A Meme

The first rule of blogging is that you don't blog about blogging .... or is it you make sure you have a graphic warning announcement before posting violence images ach I can't remember. The first picture is used to manipulate people into clicking to see more. For every new click onto my blog Old Knudsen gets a soul.

Fuck you John Constantine you powerful mage with an annoying Scouse accent. Don't ya just hate it when chicks stand half naked at their windows? ... go put some fuckin clothes on.

Just a few memes I do out of the boredom of being trapped in this human body just because I rebelled against God back in the day .... well he shouldn't have been such a dick, I regret nothing!

Some of the complications of measles can be Pneumonia, hepatitis, meningitis, encephalitis, blindness and heart problems. Roald Dahl's daughter Olivia was 7 years-old when she died of measles encephalitis in 1962. That's inflammation of the brain, nothing the doctors could have done then and still couldn't today.
The measles death rate is around one in every 1,000 infected in developed countries and the chance of a bad reaction to the vaccine is about one in a million. The measles vaccination does not cause autism and even if it did I'm sure that Dahl would have rather have that than no daughter at all.

Anti-vaxxers are paranoid uniformed idiots like those who reject modern medicine to battle cancer in favour of coffee enemas and healthy veggie shakes. Recently a young Australian woman lost her 7 year battle with cancer, while I can't blame her for being afraid and turning to woo, she encouraged others to do the same. Life is a risk, if you don't want to play then leave, just don't put others at risk because YOU are dumb. 

I do think that Cap should lay off the Super Soldier Serum for a while though. 

The Westboro Baptist Church were going to picket Leonard Nimoy's funeral because ... um reasons? Maybe because he was an atheist and was friendly to gheys. Does crazy need a reason? WELL DOES IT? ...HUH? ....HUH?
Anyway the family made the service private and the WBC couldn't find out where it was being held. Is it just me or have they lost their edge? I shall pray for them and may Baphomet answer my prayers. 

I have not condemned Tony Blair enough. Besides the overspending and celeb parties, oh and getting us into Bush's invasion over lies about WMD, that cunt waited until he was out of office before converting to Catholicism ... Being a Taig is bad enough but one that isn't brave enough to stand up and say, "I'm a Fenian cock sucker and proud of it" deserves Old Knudsen's scorn. If you see Blair, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and cuntileezer Rice in the street, make a citizens arrest and hold them there until I turn up with my rape van holding van. The fuckers need to pay, how many lives do they owe? 

Daesh throwing gheys off roofs and feeding a woman a meal that had bits of her son in is getting old. Like how they called Howard Stern a Shock Jock and after a while no one cared. Be nice to people, that would shock us. The 3, 16 year-old gurls who ran off to join Daesh, enjoy yer rape, they really don't let the gurls do any fighting, they just get them to pose for social media to lure idiots in. Weemen in the Daesh world are for breeding while goats are for sexual pleasure.

Anjem Choudary is a Daesh minded Muslim why didn't you take him with you, of that's right he likes western life a little too much. It was said about him, "Anjem Choudray...is one of those thick-as-mince gobby little chancers who could only possibly come from Britain." We have sooo many. 
  

Northern Ireland has it's own thick-as-mince gobby little chancers who are Daesh minded people who pretend to be Christian but would gladly blow up and shoot people if they could get away with it. Right now it's tit for tat politics over naming a park after an IRA terrorist and government buildings not being allowed to sell remembrance day poppies on their premises .... fucking stupid shit really, I always go to the Jobs and Benefits or the tax office to buy my poppy ... not!  

 Derek needed very little encouragement. 

 
That is one photo album I'd like to see.  

Old Knudsen finds it kinda comforting to know that no matter what, Captain Kirk will always be consistent which is why when Old Knudsen is stuck in life he always asks, 'what would Captain Kirk do?' and that is what I tell the judge.

My Tits Are Thor

Thor with big knockers?

Marvel comics came out and shocked everyone by announcing that Thor will become a female, yes the big fella with long blonde hair and huge pecs will be a gurly wurly. Of course he'll only be a gurl for the comics so do we really care? 

Who the fuck reads those anyway? When I was younger and at an age to appreciate comics I didn't have the money to buy them.  Northern Ireland isn't exactly civilization and was even worse back then, you'd only ever see a marvel comic if the person who got the Newsagent's shop to order it didn't pick it up and they put it out for general sale. No idea what happened before or after but they looked cool. 

Thor being female is just stupid, he's so dumb and manly that you could just about imagine him as being ghey on the doonlow or in prison but never a gurl. The hammer is a penis for fucks sake! 

I like gurls in tight pants who kick high.

Screenwriter, director and producer Joss Whedon has written for X-men and Spider man and writes and directs the Avenger movies. He's famous for having strong female leads like in Buffy and Dollshouse who can kick ass .... which is really an excuse to see gurls kick high and hey lets call it sexual equality. 

Whedon is all for female Thor ..... try saying that with a clothes peg attached to yer tongue. He even suggested that Katee Sackoff could do it. She played a female Starbuck in the Battlestar Galactica series in 2004 which as we all know kicked arse. Aye she was pretty good but no way as Thor, shut yer cock hole Whedon! It has been suggested that she'd make a good Captain Marvel should that ever get made. 

Ya make shite like Antman but there's no love for Captain Marvel or She-hulk. 

I want to see hot weemen in tight outfits and green body paint .... um for sexual equality of course. Black widow with her little pistols was just too gurly still. Am I right sistas? 

Where the white women at? 

Next up in the comics is an African American Captain America. What the fuck? yeah um a Captain America of color reflects today's world ... Jesus was white, are you going to make him black next? 

Lets talk about what reflects today's world. African Americans are only 12% of the US population, Hispanics are at 16% quit the racist bullshit and give us some wetback superheroes.  Border man, with the ability to bypass US technology and sneak into the cuntry to claim ALL the welfare benefits. 

Captaino Lawn guy with the power to work harder than the typical American because that's what they do. Entitled Americans just hate immigrants because they make them look bad. Hispanics are really very under represented in the superhero world.

Chris Evans, the real Captain America. 

Luckily this shit is also confined to the comics. Cap can't get his shield up anymore (it happens to the best of us) and so says to Sam Wilson (The Falcon) "Look Sam, yer Superhero is kinda fucking lame, a black man with wings flying around, yer scaring the children and then there was that woman who was knocked unconscious by yer huge flying cock, put on my outfit for a while and pull a few shifts as Captain America."

It's as if the people at Marvel are bored, their story lines read more like a soap than a comic... oh look, Thor's long lost sister that hes never mentioned, she's called Thorina. 

Are we just trying to get female comic book fans cos I think the blokes in tight outfits is working. Oh it's making Marvel more 21st century, will we have a few queer superfabulousheroes? 

Pepper I can explain, his spider cock got stuck in my arse. 

Has anyone noticed that I've used the word cock now four times so far? What about a female Iron man, maybe make her the Iron lady, oh wait that's been used, Gog rest her blackened soul. 

Everyone knows there was a female Iron man when Pepper Pots put on her pickled peppered armour. That was the Rescue armour of course. 

What about Hawk eye being male? has anyone said this? 'yeah he can shoot an arrow 500 metres and split a hair in two but can he pee in the toilet without getting it all over the place?'

Go make a mess of some new superheroes and leave the established ones alone, if I have to see another Spider man origins story I'll scream. What about Power man ? turn him into an angry black woman instead of a man, "Ain't nobody got time for that" his sidekick Iron fist is a white blonde dude all into martial arts, now that is a character no one cares about, give him a make over for the Asians at 4.8% of the US population and make him less master racy.