Why Hasn't Old Knusen Blogged?

Firstly you fucktards isn't all about you. If you had listened to Old Knudsen Russia and China wouldn't be on the verge of destroying western civilization, the UK wouldn't be left holding its dick as no one wants to trade with it, there would be a sexy lady in the White House and Old Knudsen would probably get a pardon from her about that tax and child trafficking mix up thing.

 Also Anna Faris and Chris Pratt would still be together .... why the fuck do I bother if you don't listen?

Old Knudsen went to Israel and said, 'look you cunts just get along with the Palestinian cunts and stop trying to kill each other.' Gift baskets were exchanged and apologies made and then Trump had to go and talk about moving the US embassy to Jerusalem.

The place is a shit hole, no wonder Jesus went to France after the whole fake crucifixion farce.

As a response a TV show called Knightfall came out making the Templars look like good guys who only really wanted to help the Jews .... Popular culture often compliments real life but it's a shite show so fuck em.

Enable Christian pseudo Nazis and just forget about the genocide. No one will know their history cos they took down all the Templar statues.

I told you not to trust the likes of Kelly but the Libtards wanted a hero... Marines! 

I've also been helping North Koreans defect to the south but it's hard to run from the border patrols with a 10 foot tape worm hanging out yer arse. Trust me, when the tape worm diet came out in the 70's I was into it. Now you have hipster tapeworms that don't eat gluten.

Plot twist: people drank from jars because you could seal them up again and they were too poor to buy glasses. Modern folk are idiots,

China makes up 80% of North Korea's trade and so sanctions .... I told Trump they wouldn't work, he has no clout with the chinks. Just because Ivanka has a few sweat shops there.

The Chinese now have the water ways and roads across Asia. You'd better lern to speak ting tong ting pretty soon people.

One half of the US being hit by a cold weather bomb and the other side hot as fuck. Scientists have come up with a plan to combat climate change. Just build more Rocky mountains but smaller so the weather isn't so extreme .... it's science bitches.

Queen Elizabeth II can barely speak English ... FACT!

In a bid to prevent WWIII Prince Harry will be marrying Angela Merkel.  The Germans claim they only want breathing room but I think we know how this turns out.

The world is in a sorry state but ISIS are being destroyed .... well they'll be destroyed the same way the IRA were destroyed. A few lame attacks now and then.  As usual you have more chance of being killed by an American civilian than an ISIS terrorist.

RIP Heff!

Celeb deaths have been pretty blah. How can you top David Bowie dying? Yeah Tom Petty had a few good songs but he was no Bowie. Kirk Douglas is almost 400 and still alive, he loves those stem cells. This will not be Shatner's year though. Old Knudsen would wear black for the rest of his life if that ever happened.

Turns out that 9/10 women have been sexually assaulted and 9/10 men are sexual predators. Who were the weemen Old Knudsen missed out? .... probably ugly.

If you smiled more you'd be a lot more pretty .... Old Knudsen giving out a taste of his game for all you virgins and losers that cannae get their hole.

I'd respect the hell out if that

Anyways we have to start respecting each other more.  Nothing says respect like keeping quiet about sexual harassment. Now when I see a Dustin Hoffman movie or Kevin Spacey I think, 'what a creep' ... but if it's a good movie I'll say 'yeah you probably asked for it' shut up the what's in the box scene is coming up.

Tone down the over acting Brad it's only Gwyneth Paltrow's severed head and she's a dick. She is now engaged to Brad Falchuk because during her 13 years with Chris Martin from the group Coldgay she kept calling him Brad by mistake which lead to some friction so marrying another Brad makes sense.

She doesn't cope with change very well.

New Year's eve Old Knudsen was a mile away up a hill with a high powered rifle waiting to take the shot. I can't say much but he was a high profile Yemeni target whose militia was interfering with the secret Saudi shit going on there ... anyways it was for yer freedom and yer welcome.  Happy new year mother funker, yeah that sure surprised his wife and kids but me diaper was full and me rations were low I couldn't wait any longer but hey, wouldn't you ride the fuck out of yon new Timelord?

Not the pussy in the blue box

Just don't let the lass push any buttons or she'll go directly for the fall out of the Tardis button, weemen huh? Ya can't make sandwiches falling through the air.

So I was going to write a book just piecing together all the rumours about Trump but someone beat me to it.  It'll annoy him to buy it so go ahead and do so.

Old Knudsen is still alive and thinking that 2018 will be his best year ever. Not for blogging as me rash has cleared up and the ladies are calling. Taylor Swift has been gagging for some Knudsen cock but I get the feeling she is just after a bitter break up song to help her career.