Donald Trump Found Dead

After losing to Hillary by a narrow margin Trump took to Twitter to express his disgust. Then in what can only be described as tremendously tragic he took his own life.

An out pouring of sympathy to his family came from all over the world. Putin said it "what a great loss to America", Assad said "He could have been someone I could have worked with :( " even President Hillary Clinton paused her all nighter to add, "I'm sure is family especially his rich widow are very upset at this tragic loss, oh and it's 'heroes' ffs lol".  

His supporters were very upset. "I voted for Trump because he wasn't a crooked woman but now I see how wrong I was to judge others without proof and be angry because my life isn't perfect, maybe I should have gone to school more and applied myself. From now on I'm quitting the KKK and helping poor blacks kids in the inner cities and treating others with respect no matter their gender, race, sexual preference or religion .... my brother Daryl feels the same way too."

Wow, this old Blogger has had his faith in humanity restored. The death of Trump is sorta like when Jesus died ... remember that?

Then there is this guy, "To honor the memory of such an incredible politician I call on Clinton to pass Donald's idea of freedom of choice for the youth of America and to lower the age of sexual consent to 13, retroactive for the past 20 years ... yeah that should be enough."

Warning! Graphic but enjoyable picture up next.

Donald Trump, Reality show personality, businessman and failed politician couldn't take the strain of being the biggest most ultimate loser in the US and took his own life with a single shot to the head. Early reports are that it was a foreign possibly Muslim handgun he used.

FBI sources say that it was definitely Trump and it was definitely a suicide. They have hinted at some newly found e-mails that connect the death to Hillary Clinton and have said they will probably indict her .... apart from that they wouldn't give any other details but said that this was big and better than whatever else they said she might have done.   

Baldwin was in full Trump makeup when he vanished off set in New York.

FBI Director James Commie was asked about the strange disappearance of SNL actor Alec Baldwin, he said, "Mr Baldwin probably went on a Libtard drug and drink bender and may never be seen again, you know what those liberal actor types are like. We'll keep looking cos it's our job or something but I doubt we'll find him."

Hours after Hillary was elected she cut funding to the FBI so I doubt they will find him now. A new division called The New World Order Investigation Bureau will take over most of the FBI's role. 

After a speedy investigation because it was so straight forward Trump's body was cremated and his ashes mixed with gold flakes was cast from the top of Trump Tower.  

Two weeks later. 

Thanks to a prenup that Melania doesn't remember signing she got none of Trump's vast $4 million dollar (after back taxes were paid) empire. In fact all of Trump's money went to Donald's long lost twin brother Ronald who is definitely NOT a loser.   

He went on to talk about his sudden inheritance. "We'll all miss my wonderful, fantastic brother Donald and I hold no grudges to crooked President Hillary but someone needs to look into whether or not she had him killed. There also has to be an investigation on election fraud as Donald was at the top of all the polls, no matter what those number things said."    

When asked why we had never heard of him before he said.  

"I'm not a big star like my brother, I worked mostly in foreign banking. The Alfa bank in Russia, a wonderful bank by the way, best bank ever! Everybody says so. I'm rich and I'm single, parents lock up your daughters, but not the fat ugly ones."