Ugly People Are The Best At Keeping Fit

Gill Champion has been asked to stop doing her jogging and stretching exercises around her local village. It's not because of her flat abs, firm perky bum or shapely legs, it's because that from the neck up she doesn't look very impressive.

I eat healthy and exercise all of the time so I can look and feel great.  

 

One local man who asked to remain anonymous said, "I saw this really hot chick jogging down the road, I slowed my white van to get a good look and was just about to honk my horn and give a cheeky greeting when I saw her face ... it was orrible, I felt so disgusted at myself"  

 

So much so that Darren Watson the man had to seek out therapy to get him through. 

 

Experts compare it to when you pick up a lady at a bar who performs oral sex on you then after 2 months when you question why she only takes it in the mouth and the ass and it turns out that she is a man ... that's what the experts say.  Some men can be put off by this. 

 

Yer mom's a dude  ....  dude. 

 

While healthy eating and exercise may contribute to having a healthy life it doesn't guarantee anything. Joggers and even top athletes often suffer death by death as much as those who don't look after themselves. 

 

Steve Jobs had a strict vegan diet for 30 years and died of cancer at the age of 56, just think how many tasty burgers he missed out on. At least he didn't miss out on ripping off millions of people.  

Hitler was a non-smoking vegetarian and also died aged 56 .... or did he?

 

James Fixx who wrote, 'The Complete Book of Running' died of a heart attack while out jogging aged 52. His book was amended to cover dying while jogging and is now considered to be complete.

 

Davey Jones of the Monkeys was a vegetarian and a runner and he died of a heart attack aged 66. He ended up in the Davey Jones hurt locker.

 

Rosa Parks was a vegetarian, if only she had eaten some meat then she might have had the strength to get up off her bus seat. 

 

River Phoenix was a vegan and he died at the young age of 23  ..... aye sure he died of a drug over dose but it shows you that a lack of nice tasting 'facefood' (all food should have a face) leads to other poor choices in life. 

 

I want to kill her belly button with fire.

Beauty is only skin deep and it wouldn't be right to dismiss people on their age or appearance .... but that is how things are.  

Don't bother working out to extremes if yer face could do with 10 grand of cosmetic surgery and don't bother looking after yer diet as there are numerous other things out there waiting to kill you.... including me.

Life is for living, not for seeing yer skinny pasty legs in shorts or wearing spandex that really isn't slimming you know. Go join the army if you want to run in the freezing cold rain and win medals. Do I give the bus a medal every time it runs 13 miles? away an fuck ya glory hunters.

 

If it's about feeling good then drink more or take up drugs, c'mon people, a little common sense for fucks sake.